Reason #51 To Love Philadelphia: ‘Northeast Times’ Letters Page

It’s been a while since I checked in with the Northeast Times letters page. If you’re unfamiliar with it, there are archives. But it can really just be summed up like this: The Northeast Times letters pages are like Craigslist’s rants and raves, only with less stringent guidelines and better editing.

And, as such, people sometimes use the letters page to thank a good Samaritan, to complain about Section 8 housing, to complain about the state of Mayfair, to complain about Section 8 housing again and, of course, to chastise their neighbors without having to complain to their faces.

Dude, do your duty as a dog owner

This is to the young man that walks his dog (part bulldog, with a dark body white face, you know who you are) down Hellerman Street every day, sometimes in the morning, sometimes in the evening. You allow your dog to defecate on our lawn and our neighbor’s lawns and then walk away without cleaning it up.

Young man, it is the LAW in this city that you must clean up after your dog. You have to pick up, take it with you and put it in a trash can. I am tired of cleaning up after YOUR dog, my sister is tired of cleaning up after YOUR dog, and my mother is tired of cleaning up after YOUR dog. We own a dog and we NEVER go out for a walk without bags in hand. We always clean up after our dog, and I expect you to do the same. So I am asking you politely, please, be a responsible dog owner and clean up after your dog.

I’m asking you politely with a patronizing “young man” and a pointless appeal to authority that wouldn’t convince anyone over the age of 10.

See? Awesome.

Dude, do your duty as a dog owner [Northeast Times]