Idiot Terrorist On Trial, This One From Yahoo!

Hey, remember Osama bin Laden? You know, tall guy, attacked the World Trade Center, we were supposed to have captured him? Yeah, well, we didn’t catch him still, but we did catch this idiot from Wilkes-Barre who’s currently on trial.

Writing on the Osama Bin Laden Crew Yahoo message board, Reynolds - who was living in Thailand at the time - said: “America has overstepped its bounds in Iraq. . . . There is a plan if you only truly seek to commit to it. . . . Let’s talk.” He later wrote, “It would be a pity to lose this idea.” Assistant U.S. Attorney John C. Gurganus displayed this and other e-mails on courtroom computer screens.

Ahh, yes, the OBL Crew guy. Once again, all the terrorists we catch are idiots who ask for their al-Qaeda boots and uniforms or attempt to attack the most unguarded of all sites, an army base. Anyway, we’re going to lock this guy up for like 800 years and we will be safe from Yahoo! messageboards and their terrorist cells.

Web sleuth testifies in terror trial in Scranton [Inquirer]

Alycia Lane More Popular Than Your Mom

I know that this Alycia Lane story has legs — specifically, the ones in the photos she sent to Rich Eisen — but never in a million years did I think it would make her, however briefly, more popular than the Almighty Firecrotch™. It’s going to take me a while to get my head around this.

And, yeah, she’s number two on AOL, right below Deal or No Deal and above cute photos of Coton de Tulear puppies.

Buzz Index [Yahoo]
Innocent Mistake? [AOL Hot Searches]
Coton de Tulear Pictures [DogBreedInfo]

Hot¹ Penn Columnist Fired For Plagiarism

Ahh, college columnists. You guys crack me up with your righteousness, your fluffy column topics, your ridiculous headshots (note: a link to my old headshot was supposed to go here, but I couldn’t find it), your wordiness and your plagiarism.

Aww, yeah! That last one isn’t the usual for college columnists, but the Daily Pennsylvanian’s Jamie France was fired from the paper for copying portions of her column “All-nighters: A survival guide” from “9 Top Caffeine Fixes,” found on Yahoo! Food in March.

Apparently, “copying” parts of your article is verboten in journalism, even collegiate journalism. (The correct way is to blockquote your “copied” text it and then add spiteful comments afterward.) Both articles cite nine different drinks to keep yourself awake, and the column and the charticle are exactly the same.

But maybe the DP’s editors should have noticed something was a bit off with France’s column. To wit, number eight:

8. Spike Shooter: Desperate times call for desperate measures. I’ve personally never heard of it, but any 8.4-oz .can that can house 300 mg of caffeine without a single calorie has my approval. Note the label that reads, “Don’t drink if under 18,” and “Drink only half a can at a time.”

I’ve “personally never heard” of this drink, which is why I recommend it. Thanks, Yahoo! Food!

¹ Unlike other media outlets, Philadelphia Will Do gets to the meat of the issue right away — often in the first word of the headline. And, so, judging from her column photo, Jamie France is indeed what they call “hot.”

Daily Pennsylvanian Orders Venti No-Foam Chai Plagiarism Latte [IvyGate]
Jamie France | All-nighters: A survival guide [Daily Pennsylvanian]
9 Top Caffeine Fixes [Yahoo! Food]

Yahoo! Taking Front-Page Story Ideas From NBC 10

June 23: NBC10.com Unveils New Slideshow In Wake Of Brett Myers Arrest

Act Now, Before It’s Too Late

Currently on the front page of Yahoo:

Quick! With just one simple form field in your browser, you can end poverty!

After the jump, we humbly submit an way to end povery. (Er, to “make poverty history,” as Bono would say.)

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