Pretend Priest Does Pretty Good Impersonation

As we continue our tour of the Rittenhouse Grifters of Various Regions of Pennsylvania, please turn your attention to Wilkes-Barre, where a man from Scranton’s smaller cousin pretended to be a priest in order to steal groceries.

On Tuesday, police say Mr. Rush attempted to charge $97.76 of merchandise that included four 2-pound packages of shrimp, Tastykake krimpets and floral arrangements when he was stopped. In the past, police say he has left the store with energy drinks and even a carton of cigarettes along with his groceries.

Investigators say Mr. Rush bought Thanksgiving dinner necessities and numerous gift cards he claimed he’d donate to needy families, but kept most of them for himself.

Wait, are the cigarettes supposed to be uncharacteristic? From my experiences growing up, that seems pretty standard to me. The alleged fake priest, incidentally, did study for a month at a seminary.

Priest impostor collared [The Times-Tribune]

Leftovers: Oh, Pennsylvania

• Thank you, KYW 1060, for this lead: “At a county fair you can usually buy hot dogs, funnel cakes, and maybe a t-shirt or stuffed animal. ¶ But at Pennsylvania’s Clearfield County Fair, three vendors have some very different items on sale. They’re hawking Nazi and Ku Klux Klan merchandise. ” Bonus: A lawyer was hospitalized for dehydration after he chained himself to the courthouse in protest. [KYW 1060]

• It’s not just humans who don’t like the heat wave. Plants — yes, plants — don’t like it, either. Bonus points for the Petunia/Rose/Daisy line. [Bucks County Courier Times]

• Some kids broke into the headquarters of Alex’s Lemonade Stand and stole a bunch of money. Then they scattered Alex’s Lemonade wristbands on the roof. (Gasp!) This is just like when Bart chopped off Jebediah Springfield’s head. [NBC 10]

• Hey, did you see what happened in Wilkes-Barre? The guy who bought the Times Leader went and became publisher and editor. Hmm. I wonder where else that could happen… [Times Leader]