A Johnstown man was sentenced Tuesday for running an illegal taxi service. [...] A judge sentenced him to 15 months probation and community service. He will also have to pay $900 in fines and is not allowed to operate a cab or even wear a hat that says “Taxi Cab.”
Since the Pirates beat the Phillies yesterday, let’s make fun of Western Pennsylvania! The ravishing bride at left is the former Christa Vattimo, who was married to David M. Wielechowski on Saturday.
Then they went to the Holiday Inn — the Motel 6 was completely booked — dafter their wedding, got into a fight and were both arrested:
According to a criminal complaint, the Wielechowskis had just checked into the Holiday Inn-McKnight Road in Ross and were ready to enter their room on the seventh floor when they began arguing. Dr. Wielechowski “then used a karate-style kick with his leg to kick Christa, knocking her to the floor,” the complaint reads.
Upon hearing her screams, two guests of the hotel who had been attending another wedding reception ran to Mrs. Wielechowski’s aid. But when they attempted to restrain Dr. Wielechowski, he began fighting the would-be rescuers only to have Mrs. Wielechowski “turn against [them] and also begin to assault them,” according to the complaint.
The fight moved from the hallway into an elevator, then spilled out onto the floor of the lobby, where Dr. and Mrs. Wielechowski picked up metal planters containing live plants and threw them into the elevator at the two rescuers, the complaint says.
Oh, yes, Mr. Wielechowski is a dentist, of course.
Meanwhile, in Bridgeville (also in Allegheny County), a man was arrested for annoying government officials by calling them and telling them they suck. The police chief said: “In section 2709 of the Pennsylvania crimes code, dealing with harassment, it specifically states that when a person, they harass, annoy or alarm an individual based upon the conduct, then it’s harassment.” Watch it, commenters, or I’m going to have you all arrested.
In the Philadelphia area, Google Street View contains most of Center City — with strange gaps, such as the 1500 block of Sansom Street1– as well as suburbs as far as Bristol, Wilmington and Newark.
Well, enjoy it while you can, suckers! A Pittsburgh couple is suing Google, claiming Street View “violated their privacy, devalued their property and caused them mental suffering.”
Fair enough. But, whoops, Google says apparently you can get your house off Google Street View if you want to, meaning that if this thing is publicized enough a ton of streets will be removed and the tool will be worthless. “There’s no merit to this action,” Google spokesman Larry Yu said. “It is unfortunate litigation was chosen to address the concern because we have visible tools, such as a YouTube video, to help people learn about imagery removal and an easy-to-use process to facilitate image removal.” Still, no one has explained why Google Street View was done in Pittsburgh.
We all think that female teachers having sex with students is a bad thing. (Even NAMBLA.) But adult males remember their ridiculously attractive seventh grade homeroom teacher and are, well, jealous. And so it’s not viewed by some people as that much of a problem, or as bad of a problem as male teacher-female student hookups. Is this detrimental to society? I certainly don’t know, and I definitely don’t care. And I definitely had cute homeroom teachers in sixth and seventh grade, so let me just join the chorus: Hot!
Today’s teacher-student sex story is out in suburban Pittsburgh, where cops say a 26-year-old at Moon Area High School (Ha!) exchanged nude photos with a freshman and may have had sexual contact with him! (Sorry she’s not skinnier.) The boy didn’t stab the teacher in the back like so many times; his parents found suggestive text messages and the teacher, Beth Ann Chester, resigned blah blah blah you know how this goes.
Meanwhile, in Westmoreland County, a cuckolded man sent his wife’s lover a severed cow’s head and has been sentenced to probation. His lawyer gives the quote of the year so far, saying that Jason Michael Fife “understands that in a civilized society a person cannot send a severed cow’s head to anybody.”
Hmm, when Chuck Ramsey does his little crime report thingy, I can safely assume it will not suggest closing down all of Philadelphia’s strip clubs. Strippers — or “heroes,” as I like to call them — are most certainly blameless in the city’s murder epidemic, except maybe for that shooting at ex-Allen Iverson hangout Club Wizzards last year.
But, out in Western Pennsylvania, Republican State Senator Jane Oriethinks strip clubs are just plain evil or something and wants to tax them more, because the GOP is the party of low taxes and personal choice.
“What I’m trying to do is have the state of Pennsylvania conduct the same study [as Texas, which just instituted a $5 pole (ho ho!) tax], to look at the adult entertainment industry, and the secondary effects it has, for example, with child abuse, and with domestic violence, with mental health issues.”
Mental health issues? There’s nothing more depressing than a pair of giant fake tits in your face.
The amusement park Kennywood (it’s near Pittsburgh) is being sold to a Spanish company that also manages a bunch of amusement and water parks across the U.S. and Europe.
“The park’s going to continue to be what it is, what we all love. We don’t expect to see any changes. We don’t think it’s going to become a giant taco stand.”
Tacos are, of course, Mexican. The park is actually going to be turned into a bullfighting arena.
Hey! A Pennsylvania hunter, Rick Jacobs, says he has a photo of Bigfoot (at right). He apparently snapped the photo with a camera with an automatic trigger he set up in order to get snapshots of deer.
But, instead, he got a photo of an animal of indeterminate origin, which means it must be Bigfoot! “It appears to be a primate-like animal. In my opinion, it appears to be a juvenile Sasquatch,” Paul Majeta told the Associated Press. Paul Majeta, incidentally, is a member of the Bigfoot Research Organization, and is therefore an impartial judge of a creature’s Sasquatchness.
The Pennsylvania Game Commission says there is “no question” the animal is a bear with a severe case of mange, but that doesn’t make for a good headline.
But there is even better news. The Online Gambling Paper reports: “An online sportsbook once offered odds on the existence of Sasquatch, but the prop was canceled due to lack of interest. Now with Jacob’s Bigfoot, we may see those weird odds pop up again.” The OG Paper also has a report on the odds for the 2007 World Hamburger Eating Championship.
Update: In the comments, “michele” draws us a picture, literally. I really couldn’t make any sense of the photo — other than knowing it’s not Bigfoot — so it was helpful.
Sometimes the media (whatever) likes to make the Philadelphia and Pittsburgh sports teams out to be rivals, and that’s true for some sports. (We dominate them in basketball.) But chances are if an Eagles fan has to root for a team other than the Eagles, chances are he’ll pick the Steelers. They’re in the AFC, they’re from the same state, and who didn’t like former Steelers coach Bill Cowher. And Steelers fans are kind of ubiquitous, but somehow aren’t annoying like Red Sox/Yankees/Cubs/etc. fans.
Philadelphia has some of the best mascots in sports — the Phanatic, Swoop, Hip Hop, the St. Joe’s Hawk, Hooter the Owl, the only mascot to get a technical foul, etc. — and it makes sense the Steelers would have a pretty cool mascot, too. And, so, naturally, they’ve come up with the guy above, who actually looks like former coach Bill Cowher. And his name is Steeley McBeam, which is like a name you’d come up for the name contest as a joke.
Awesome. Now he just has to have a cage match with Swoop.
Oh, yeah, and be happy you’re in Philadelphia. This new mascot story is the biggest one in Pittsburgh in months.
Every time there’s a big national disaster, the local press does their usual job of localizing — and scaring us. Just check out the highly scientific survey from NBC 10:
NBC 10 conducted a survey and asked, “How concerned are you about the safety of local bridges?”
Forty-five percent said, “very concerned,” 29 percent said “somewhat concerned” and 20 percent are “Not worried at all.”
Gee, I wonder who could make the public so concerned about bridge safety?
“It’s very scary. Don’t think I’m going over a bridge anytime soon,” Eileen Vitale, of Northeast Philadelphia, said. Everyone NBC 10 talked to said they would think twice before driving over a bridge that crosses either water or a city street.
Jean Unger, of Kensington, said she would cross her fingers and hold her breath until she got on the other side of a bridge.
