Pellet-Packing Punks Probed

Pellet-packing punks! That’s the newest scourge in West Chester, according to Action News and its annoying seizure-inducing website. People are so mad about said “pellet-packing punks” (who are apparently white aka moon tigers) Action News‘ David Henry says the damage has gotten “has gotten way beyond ridiculous.”

Vandals in West Chester have broken the windows over 100 cars with pellet guns, causing $40,000 worth of damage. Things are so bad even the glass replacement people are unhappy! Apparently dealing with “angry customers” outweighs huge amounts of profit.

It’s okay, though, the cops have a few leads and will soon find and execute the punks. And if they don’t Henry notes it’s okay, too: “It’s gotten to the point where the vandals better hope the police catch them before someone else does.” Ahh, I see West Chester is a lot like Upper Darby.

Hunt continues for pellet packing punks [6 ABC]

War Supporters Adopt Lofty Rhetoric

The great thing about this country is the freedom to say whatever you want. We Americans have the right to protest anything; with more voices added to the debate, the political discourse shall be elevated.

Such is the case in West Chester, where peace groups have been protesting the Iraq War like every weekend. Rich Davis, a Navy vet, decided he wanted to protest for the war, and he told the newspaper, “The reason I’m here is that [they're] here every week, which I think is protest abuse.”

Protest abuse! And recently, the pro-war group came up with this oh-so-clever chant:

“Hey hey, ho ho, stinking hippies have got to go!” they proclaimed.

And the Iraq War went on forever and ever and ever.

Protester Faceoff Gradually Escalates [The Bulletin]

Don Vito: ‘Just Kill Me Now”

Ha ha, remember the wacky uncle Vincent Margera from MTV’s show Viva La Bam? Well, yesterday he was convicted of two counts of sexual assault on a child at a skate park last year. He could end up spending the rest of his life in prison for it!

After hearing the verdict, the Associated Press reported Don Vito fell to the floor cursing and shouted, “Just kill me now!” Vito faces probation to six years for each count, but if he doesn’t comply with the sex offender treatment, he could end up dying in prison.

It’s a little strange how he was convicted. After all, he had this defense:

Defense attorney Pamela Mackey had argued that when Margera appeared at the skate park, he took on the persona of the outrageous and profane Don Vito. Mackey had said that Margera, a car painter, learned that the crazier he acted, the more his fans loved it.

It’s always the fault of the fans. Sentencing is Dec. 20!

Bam: Kids, Stay In Sch–Aw, Forget It

Tomorrow night is the finale of Bam Margera’s MTV show, Bam’s Unholy Union, and so Dan Gross chatted up the West Chester native, asking him about his new indie film and his past.

And Bam Margera has a message for the kiddies:

“I felt like I was wasting time in high school [East High in West Chester]. I quit in 10th grade and went to California to skateboard.

“Now I do what I want to do whenever.” Margera says.

“I wake up, I skate my ramp with my friends. I go mess with my dad and rip out all his toilets so he has to s— at his neighbor’s.”

See kids? If you drop out of school, you can spend your days ripping toilets out of houses. And not as a plumber, but as a… how do you classify Bam’s job again? But, hey, sounds like fun!

Bam directing new indie movie [Daily News, 4th item]

College Kids Get Drunk, Are Jerks

Shocking fact about college kids: Lots of ‘em drink! And when they drink, they sometimes do crazy things. And the little town of West Chester, who just got over the looming Bam Margera menace, isn’t quite sure what to do about it.

West Chester doesn’t have enough police to handle drunk kids — you may have heard West Chester has quite the rap as a party school — and so the town has to pay police overtime. But, please, someone hire some more cops. Think of the children:

He even says some of the first words his son spoke were “drunken college kids.”

Sure, not “mom” or “dad,” but “drunken college kids.” Eh, better to learn early, I say!

Student nightlife taxes W. Chester’s resources [Inquirer]

Blogicized: Viva La Bam

• West Chester just might be the next great small town. No doubt at least in part due to Bam Margera.

• Even if David Bell and Mike Lieberthal stink it up this year, the Phillies could have a shot to content. This is backed up with actual data. Let’s not start getting excited, though. [Mike's Baseball Rants]

• Ex-Philadelphia Independent staff writer Christine Smallwood asks the question, “Can making stuff up in the Village Voice get you a book deal?” Ehm, maybe, but does anyone actually buy books like that? [The Notion]