We Shall Celebrate With Ads And Port-A-Potties

Over two-thousand years ago this Wednesday, Jesus himself was wrote the Declaration of Independence, helping America break away from evil King Herod of England in the biggest upset in world history until Villanova’s defeat of Georgetown in the 1985 National Championship. Or at least that’s how I think it goes.

As the City of Philadelphia is the place where the Declaration of Independence was conceived, written and later stolen by Nicholas Cage — it remains missing, if you see it call 911 — Philly is decked out in patriotic gear once again. It’s also decked out in the greatest American invention ever, advertisements.

The Sunoco Welcome America! festival is also sponsored by Southwest Airlines, the Philadelphia International Airport, 6 ABC, Coca-Cola, Fairmount Park, the City of Philadelphia and the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. It has a second tier of sponsors, too: El Sol, Goya, the Greater Philadelphia Tourism and Marketing Corporation, the Penn’s Landing Corporation and Transformers: The Movie.

There is a third level of sponsorship as well. That list: 95.7 BEN FM, 98.1 WOGL, 100.3 The Beat, 102.9 WMGK, Advil, 107.9 WRNB, the African American Museum in Philadelphia, Ajilon Consulting, Amtrak, the Philadelphia Housing Authority, Domus, Valley Green Bank, Herr’s, Hershey’s, the Independence Visitor Center, GEICO, KYW Newsradio 1060, Le Nueva Mega, the Loews Hotel, Marriott Vacation Club International, Metro, Haverford Systems, the National Park Service, NBA Nation, the New Covenant Church, Once Upon A Nation, the Osiris Group, Juicy Juice, PATCO, the Philadelphia Convention and Visitor’s Bureau, the Philadelphia Daily News, Philadelphia Trolley Works, Philadelphia World Salsa Congress, The New York Times, the Philadelphia Chapter of the Recording Academy, the Plash bus, the Philadelphia Parking Authority, Praise 103.9, Radio Disney, The Philadelphia Tribune, Rumba 1560 AM, SEPTA, Sovereign Bank, Sundance Vacations, Telemondo T62, Temple University, Tastykake, The Philadelphia Inquirer, Titan, the Trolley Car Diner, Wireless Philadelphia, Kajeet, WJJZ 97.5, 93.3 WMMR, The Kimmel Center, Select Event Rentals and the Center City District.

Lest you think these sponsors have nothing to do with the independence of our nation, Southwest Airlines has let us know that their existence validates the simple words declaring the Intolerable Acts intolerable first written by some dude many years ago.

God Bless America.

Sponsors [Welcome America!]

Quickies: The Old College Try

• A study has showed that Philadelphia lags behind other cities in keeping college kids in town after they graduate, confirming the thoughts of every person who’s ever been to college in this city, ever. [Inky]

• Former Penn men’s hoops coach Fran Dunphy has officially left the school for Temple, replacing the grizzled old vet John Chaney. Now, will he continue to hold practices before the sun rises? [Daily News]

• Dan Gross says that Lionel Richie might be the headliner for the July 4th concert on the Parkway. These Art Museum steps look great… for dancing! [DN]

• Two Rutgers U. economists have said that the outlook for New Jersey’s economy is very, very poor. But, on the plus side, there’s still plenty of great views from the Turnpike! [AP/Trentonian]