Herb Denenberg, Media Expert

Things were good for Bulletin columnist Herb Denenberg back in 2005. Bush was president, the war was still semi-popular (I guess) and the economy only mildly stunk. As such, the former consumer reporter spent most of his columns writing about squirrels in attics and the many different kinds of beetles.

Things are different in 2009. Some dude named Obama is president, the Phillies are reigning World Champions and the economy really, really stinks. As such, Herb Denenberg has used his recent columns to relentlessly bash Barack Obama, Democrats and the like. He spends about half of his sentences whining about how awful the good ol’ United States of America is, and the other half telling certain people (Democrats, Obama, the news media, Hollywood, college professors, etc.) to leave America because they hate it. I believe this is the time we can actually use the word “ironic” without fear of using it wrong. So, yes: Ironic!

The media has received the brunt of his ire recently, including a recent column on the Philadelphia magazine piece about the Inquirer. While he does come up with, um, a great new slogan for the Inky (”In Philadelphia, nearly everyone hates the Inquirer”) he also takes shots at Phillymag as well.

Any summary of this part of the column would not do it justice, so let’s just blockquote it out:

He misses something else, which suggests even after conducting 100 interviews, he is not in touch with the Philadelphia scene. He notes that Brian Tierney is the co-owner, publisher and CEO of this “city’s newspapers.” I’ve got news for Mr. Volk and Philadelphia Magazine. The Philadelphia Inquirer and Philadelphia Daily News are not this “city’s newspapers” as if they were the only ones. For over four years, there happens to be another daily, The Bulletin, and there happens to be many strong weeklies. And there’s the Metro, another daily, certainly worthy of note. Mr. Volk notes that the Inquirer is surrounded by a strong ring of suburban papers, and hence have no room to expand. But he should note that it faces competition from two other dailies, which are also taking a significant number of readers away from the Inquirer. As the Inquirer contracts, the Bulletin expands. As they say, that’s just one more nail in the Inquirer coffin.

Apparently the exhaustive research of the Philadelphia Magazine failed to uncover the existence of the Bulletin. The best daily in America, the Wall Street Journal, is aware of the Bulletin, obviously reads it, and recently quoted it in one of its editorials. [...] Later, the editorial, in discussing all the new competition eating away at the Inquirer, noted, “Smaller papers like the Bulletin are also working hard to reach a larger audience.”

If the best paper in the land can find and quote the Bulletin, something is radically wrong when Philadelphia Magazine, in an article on the very subject of the Philadelphia newspaper scene, seems to be clueless on what’s going on in its own market.

I think that could be a new slogan for the Bulletin: “Read by the Wall Street Journal!”

What’s Wrong With Newspapers And The Pundits Who Write About Them [The Bulletin]

Watermelon Finally Makes ‘WSJ’ Front Page

The Wall Street Journal today ran the above hedcut on this story about the number of resolutions Congress has passed. And you thought Murdoch was going to ruin the WSJ!

In an actual true story of leaders fiddling while Rome burns, this Congress has passed the fewest number of laws in the 20 years of record keeping; it has, however, passed the most number of resolutions honoring the New York Giants or recognizing soil as an “essential natural resource.” (Really!) Some may find this a bad idea, but it would seem to me the fewer number of laws Congress passes, the less chance it has to screw up.

But, really, who would have thought it’d be the Democratic Congress that’s passing fewer laws?

Republican Sen. Saxby Chambliss, whose home state of Georgia has 24,000 acres planted in watermelon, pushed a resolution establishing July as National Watermelon Month. “As Mark Twain once said, ‘When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.’ I encourage my colleagues to join me in acknowledging the wisdom of Mark Twain by supporting this resolution,” Sen. Chambliss said on the Senate floor. The only problem: July is about 14 days late for a Watermelon Month. The crops come in in mid June.

More »

Flying Pigs: A Special ‘WSJ’ Section

Noted yacht-in-the-Caribbean owning Brian Tierney, the owner of the Inquirer and Daily News, isn’t content with just the major print media and most popular website in Philadelphia.

No, Tierney is also hoping to turn Philadelphia Media Holdings into a powerhouse by purchasing the freaking Wall Street Journal. The WSJ would come if Tierney could find backers to buy Dow Jones, the subject of a recent takeover attempt by Rupert Murdoch.

News Corp.’s bid for Dow Jones was $5 billion, which Tierney said wasn’t excessive. Well, you get the freaking Wall Street Journal, so I suppose it’s not so much. Of course, the bid for the Philly papers was just over $500 million, so, ah, if Tierney manages to buy Dow Jones it’d be a real reason to do a special section about pigs flying.

Inquirer owner has interest in Dow Jones [Inquirer]
May 4: ‘Inquirer’ Uses Font Size Usually Reserved For Terrorist Attacks To Tell Us Circulation Is Up

Santorum Makes The Girls Flutter

Wall Street Journal columnist Peggy Noonan wants to have sex with Rick Santorum. She wants to have like 10,000 of his babies.

No, really. That’s the only conclusion I can come to from her mashnote to Pennsylvania’s junior senator today. Oh, you don’t believe me? Here are some choice lines:

• “The other day I called a former senator, a crusty old moderate Republican, and asked him if he liked Mr. Santorum. ‘No,’ he said, ‘I love him.’”
• “Most of his own impulses–protect the unprotected, help the helpless, respect the common man–have not been conservative in the way conservative is roughly understood, or portrayed, in the national imagination. ” (Editor’s Note: This is my favorite type of argument. “If you people were smarter you’d realize that Rick Santorum is awesome!”)
• “He told me something is happening. And I hope he’s right. Because the U.S. Senate is both an institution and a collection of human beings, and it needs his kind.”
• “Personally I’ll shed no tear for the careerists of either party who win or lose, nor for the BlackBerryed gargoyles in the second row of the SUV who tell them how to think and where to stand. That means this election night will be, for me, a dry-eyed affair. But if Rick Santorum goes down to the defeat all expect, I will feel it. Like the crusty old moderate Republican, I know a national loss when I see one.”

Aww. Isn’t that cute. Although if Santorum were to lose, I think before I shed a tear I’ll say, “Awesome! We’ll have a senator who lives in Pennsylvania now!”

We Need His Kind [WSJ]

Leftovers: Phillies Out-Do ‘Em All, Again!

• If you’re a sports fan, and your head is spinning from an Eagles loss and a big Flyers shake-up, here’s something better: The Phillies signed Jamie Moyer to a two-year, $10.5 million extension today, which means the Fightins have him locked up for his 44th and 45th years on Earth. (Woulda really liked him for just one.) But wait… ooh! Maybe in the second year he can be player/manager! [Inquirer]

• Oh, and today is the 13th anniversary of Joe Carter’s walkoff home run. Goodie. [Wikipedia]

• Stephen Colbert’s “Sikh friend” a while back was none other than Penn’s junior class president! And now he’s hit YouTube, so the fame and movie deals should follow. [Daily Pennsylvanian]

• Woulda linked this Friday had I known it wasn’t behind the WSJ paywall, but here goes: The, uh, Wall Street Journal had a nice Philly-bashing piece on Friday. Letters from, say, Center City District and some other angry Philadelphians to follow soon. [Wall Street Journal]

• “That whole if you don’t have insurance, we’ll cover you thing? Yeah, you ain’t gettin’ it, needy kids. We legislators need a few new cars.” [KYW 1060]

• Men think like this, women think like that! [Inquirer]

Let Them Eat Steak

Hmm, what’s in the news today… let’s check out the trusty Wall Street Journal, known to some as the greatest newspaper on the planet:

Ahh, yes, Philadelphia. Home of the Liberty Bell, a pathetic baseball nine and our famous cheesecakes.

May 30: Press 1 For Asshole