Drexel Kids Outsmart Underwear Co.

Victoria’s Secret recently held a promotion asking students to vote for what school should be added to its line of collegiate products. Apparently, the company decided to screw market research and just let the people decide!

Well, whoops! Some thoughtful future engineer at Drexel made a script that moved Drexel from 1,000 votes to 5.2 million.

“We figured out what happens when you click and we made a computer do that hundreds and hundreds of times without showing anything,” [co-conspirator Tim] Plunkett said.

Plunkett explained that the script was written out of boredom.

“We thought it was amusing to see the reactions of the people in the group [on Facebook], which were primarily sorority girls … they thought they had organized it very well and were accomplishing this on their own, which was hilarious to us. It was mostly just because we thought it was humorous that people were getting excited that we were winning,” Plunkett said. [...]

A student from Texas Tech University also tried doing the same thing. However, he was using Windows and running the script on one computer, while Plunkett was using Linux and running it on 30 computers, according to Plunkett.

“Other schools tried to do the same thing, but we just did it better,” Plunkett said.

In what might show the strength of its engineering school, Drexel remains in first on the website. I kind of doubt we’ll be seeing Drexel-themed underwear anytime soon, though.

Hilariously, Bob Jones University is in 12th.

Students fool ‘PINK’ poll [The Triangle]

Slow News Day Interrupted By Panty Raid!

NBC 10 reported yesterday that a Victoria’s Secret in the Cumberland Mall was robbed! Of 50 pairs of panties! And it’s the second robbery this year!

Yes, an everyday mall robbery made the news because feminine undergarments were taken, and NBC 10 could interview random people in the mall.

Shoppers here have their own theories about why someone would steal all that underwear, NBC 10’s Ted Greenberg reported.

“They sell them on the street. People who need them can get them,” Hunter said.

“Someone has a fetish, maybe,” suggested Castro.

“I think it’s crazy, you know,” said Davis. “Get a job. Buy the stuff you need. Don’t steal it. Everybody else suffers in the long run because the prices go up.”

Shit. Fetish-crazed panty stealers are going to sell Victoria’s Secret merchandise on the street and we’ll have to pay more for it later on!

Another Panty Raid Occurs At Local Victoria’s Secret [NBC 10]

Breaking: A Story Even Bigger Than Barbaro

Wow, is there any other way they’re better than me?

Victoria’s Secret Models Auction Wings For Charity [NBC 10]

Lingere plus drunkenness equals…

Sometimes, you hear about a crime that you just wish you could have been there for:

Gwendolyn Jocson, 29, 900 block 2nd St., Bristol Township, 7:35 p.m., Sat, disorderly conduct and public drunkenness at Victoria’s Secret, Neshaminy Mall.

Public drunkenness at Victoria’s Secret? That’s hot.

Public safety log 01.31.06 [Bucks County Courier Times]

An Inky exclusive: 11-year-olds don’t have boobs

There’s a story in today’s Inquirer that reminded me a little too much of Nabakov’s protagonist in Lolita, and that’s probably not so good. Well, okay, there’s nothing lewd in the story — and it’s written by a woman — but it’s just, well, weird: Little girls are shopping at Victoria’s Secret.

That, in itself, not so surprising. Have you ever been to a mall recently? Girls who are like 10 are buying condoms. In my day we boys had to wait until at least sixth grade for girls to get hot, and then we had to wait another four years or so to be savvy enough to dupe some girl into a liplock. But I digress.

The story just contains some strange anecdotes. For example, the one in the lead about the two girls — both 11 — profiled and about how they don’t have breasts yet. (Really. That’s the lead.) And this quote from one of their moms: “They’re still outwardly mobile.” Whoo!

And, then, of course, there’s the final portion of the story:

The girls eyed a leather-covered stuffed pink dog, but put it back when they saw the $70 price tag. They looked at cotton lounge pants, but each owns several pairs.

They settled on sweatpants. Lily bought the yellow ones, Brittany preferred the green. They cost $68 apiece.

Oh, the $70 item is too much, but $68? That’s just fine. Someone needs to take these girls to Franklin Mills.

Victoria’s Secret? Kids [Inky]