Quickies: Such great heights

• A woman who fell on some packages can sue the Postal Service for it. Sweet! Quick, somebody throw some mail on the floor, I’m gonna be rich! [NBC 10]

• Stabbed on the steps University City High? Well, you’re going to jail! [Inky]

• NB to local journos: If you write about PW — and by all means, you should — please don’t refer to us in a headline as Phila. magazine. It makes us all feel a little icky. [KYW 1060]

• The more you hear, doesn’t it just seem like President Bush doesn’t have a clue what he’s doing? I don’t even really think UAE-owned ports is a security threat, and somehow I still disagree with him. [AP/Yahoo!]

Secret terrorist trap plan revealed!

I got it. The Bush Administration is just trying to set a giant mousetrap by allowing a United Arab Emirates-controlled company to take over several Eastern U.S. ports.

In Catherine Lucey’s Daily News story today, she talks to all the local pols who are up in arms about the deal, and also mentions the actual port that the UAE company would have a 50 percent stake in:

Here in Philly, the deal gives Dubai Ports World a 50 percent interest in Delaware River Stevedores. [...] DRS leases the Tioga Marine Terminal from the Philadelphia Regional Port Authority, unloads ships in Camden and Wilmington and provides loading services to the Philadelphia Cruise Ship Terminal.

Shit. The Tioga Marine Terminal? If terrorists ever try to drop in via that port, the natives will tear ‘em to shreds. Rock on, Philly.

Arabs running port? No sale, pols say [DN]
Tioga Marine Terminal [philaport.com]
Yesterday: Any (Arab) port in a storm

Any (Arab) port in a storm

All the national newscasts were in an uproar yesterday over lawmakers who had questioned selling several major Atlantic Ocean ports to a company controlled by the United Arab Emirates.

Now, I thought we were boys with the UAE: They don’t support terrorism, they’re pretty “Westernized” — and most importantly they’re effing rich, and there’s nothing this administration loves more than rich people, even if they’re not white.

Well, the administration did approve the deal, but, then again, it was improved by the Homeland Security Department, and we all know how good of a job they did during Hurricane Katrina.

All the lawmakers hit the talk shows yesterday, talking points in hand, to attack the approval of the deal, in a hope that those Arabs, no matter how united their emirates may be, don’t get to control American access ports.

Nevermind that the ports will probably still be staffed by the same people if the deal goes through. We’re living in a post-9/11 world, where it’s okay if security sucks as long as it’s a black or white person.

On a side note, what if they do try to ship in, say, Osama Bin Laden, into Philadelphia, one of the ports that would be Arab-run? We’ll just crack open the package and, whammo!, Bin Laden taken alive!

Lawmakers question Arab-run ports [AP/Philly.com]
Bin Laden Vows Never to Be Captured Alive [AP/ABC News]