Darrell Clarke Hates Spraypaint, Looking At Men

Hey, so remember that Travel + Leisure story which ranked Philadelphia last in attractiveness in the 25 cities it surveyed readers on? Yeah, well asked a bunch of politicians and random people what they thought, and the results are both predictably boring and over-the-top.

But the response by spraypaint-hatin’ City Councilman Darrell Clarke is a bit, uhm, weird. To note, Miami ranked first on the list of 25 cities surveyed in attractiveness.

“They’ve got to be kidding!” said Councilman Darrell Clarke. “South Beach? How do we compete with that? I mean, give me a break!”

Upon further review, he said, “I’m a single guy so I can say, in all honesty, that while I don’t traditionally look at men to determine how attractive they are, I can tell you that we have the most attractive women of any city.”

Hear that, constituents: Darrell Clarke is not gay! His Kinsey score is like negative fifteen thousand. He doesn’t even know what any other men in this city look like. In fact, he’s not even sure if there are other men in this city!

Hey! We’re not just fat - we’re ugly, too [Daily News]
Yesterday: Darrell Clarke Wants To Track What You Buy
Tuesday: Now You Have Even Less Of An Excuse To Be Dateless