Milton No Longer The Great Entertainer He Once Was

Everyone’s favorite candidate for City Council, Milton Street, was in a New Jersey court yesterday answering charges he failed to pay parking tickets from the 1990s. And, as the Daily News‘ Wendy Ruderman points out, the public was ready for the show to begin.

The appearance of Mayor Street’s colorful older brother in Moorestown Municipal Court caused a stir among fellow scofflaws.

“I expect him to have some choice words for the judge,” said Kathleen Noon, 47, who was in court for a speeding ticket. “I hope I’m still here when he goes up.”

I don’t think it’s a stretch to say there’s a good chance people intentionally broke traffic laws on the streets of Moorestown in order for the chance to go see Milton Street’s show. Cop stopped you for speeding? It’s okay, you might get a chance to see the Milton Street in court. Although it isn’t likely the show would be as good as his song-and-dance show on March 1, it’d be a Milton Street stand-up appearance nonetheless.

Well, no dice. Milton didn’t do anything yesterday except mumble a few words to the judge after being admonished for letting these tickets sit for over a decade. Ol’ Milty agreed to pay a $678 fine and went on his way, telling reporters he was glad it was over. “It was nagging… It was like a big hemorrhoid,” he said to the press.

Aw, c’mon, Milt! That’s no way to act as the Greatest Candidate in Philadelphia Political History. Where are the references to Watermelon Man, the prop coffin, the heartfelt singing? This is simply unacceptable. Once you become the Greatest Candidate in Philadelphia Political History, there are responsibilities you have to uphold. C’mon, Milt!

Just the ticket for meek Milton [Daily News]