Presidential Election Distracting U.S.

While Byrne says the toy industry is typically “recession-resistant,” this year also has the presidential election, which could distract some shoppers, and five fewer shopping days between Thanksgiving and Christmas than last year.

According to this Associated Press article on toys and the recession, the presidential election will distract our nation enough to cause fewer toys to be sold this Christmas. That means a drop in tax revenue, a loss of jobs and pretty soon we’ll look up and notice Iraq has invaded and taken over the United States.

Why do Barack Obama and John McCain hate America? That can be the only reason they continue to keep this election going instead of just having it, say, tomorrow. Please? Can we please have it tomorrow just so it ends? C’mon, what’s the worst that could happen?

Phillie Phanatic Made More Horrifying

It almost burns the eyes. And it’s only $24.99!

Forever Collectibles Philadelphia Phillies 18 Inch Plush Mascot Clinger [MLB Shop]
Thanks, Rob

Phillies Merchandising Dept. Ruins Popular Character

Hey, Philadelphia Phillies! You have a mascot beloved by all people, young and old, man and woman, Phillies fan and non-Phillies fan. Here’s an idea: How about you not ruin the Phillie Phanatic by making a giant creepy foam head!

It’s a bad business decision, too. This thing looks like, if you put it on your head, you’d immediately suffocate. Not just bad PR for the Phillies, but, once you’re dead, you can’t buy any more Phillies merchandise. (Okay, maybe an officially licensed Phillies casket.)

But if the Philliesa re going to make a suffocating giant foam head, couldn’t they at least make it not tremendously scary and ruinous to everyone’s memories of the giant green whatever-he-is that makes the fans cheer?

Of course, that’s not your only option for Phillies-related purchasing. First off, the Police reunion tour plays Citizens Bank Park on July 19 (and Hersheypark Stadium on July 20). Tickets are $9,000 each.

And, if you’re looking for a gift for a youngster — not that youngsters can’t like the Police, but, well — there’s always this Phillies-themed Memory game, which the Phils’ website helpfully notes is non-violent. I don’t know, I’ve played some games of Memory that turned pretty bloody.

Philadelphia Phillies Phanatic Foamhead [Phillies.com Shop]
Non-Violent Toys Philadelphia Phillies Mix Match [Phillies.com Shop]
The Police make long-awaited return to the Philadelphia area [Phillies.com]

This Just In: Philadelphia Loves Sex Toys

The most lopsided poll not involving Joey Vento, by the way.

U.S. Supreme Court Rejects Sex-Toy Case [AP/NBC 10]
June 7: American Speak