Heroes Try To Stop Stupid City Council Law

Okay, it’s time to write more about my new favorite people in this city: The ones suing the city for its new law requiring tour guide licensing.

They are simply on the attack with an all-out media blitz following up on Elmer Smith’s column yesterday. There is an op-ed from an Institute for Justice lawyer in the Inquirer and another in the Daily News from one of the tour guides suing.

The writing by the I4J’s Bob McNamara is full of typical unintentionally hilarious libertarian seriousness — “This is a direct assault on fundamental American freedoms” — but makes the argument pretty clear: The government is limiting who can talk on streetcorners by imposing requirements on what they can say with a tour guide test. That’s not the reason I gave for keeping tour guides unlicensed — they tell awesome lies like, “City Tavern is where the First Continental Congress met” — but it seems to make sense.

The city can probably institute optional “factually-certified™” tour guide registration or whatever, but can’t make it mandatory. Either way this shakes out, I’m totally looking into setting up a tour where you can be sure you won’t be told one accurate thing at all.

Also, since I’ve been laughing at awful Internet comments all week — I do this all the time, but I’ve been posting some of them the past couple days — this comment on the Daily News article is awesome.

ghost stories and anecdotes are a far cry from patently false or misleading information about historical events, which I believe is the main concern here. Statements made in the course of doing one’s job are not protected by the first amendment. If I sell hot dogs and I tell my customers my hot dogs will make them taller, I’m a liar and will be fired (or lose my customers). i have no recourse under the first amendment. Your efforts should be directed at making sure the law is implemented as fairly as possible, with everyone’s best interests in mind. If you try to have the law struck down with a free speech argument you will be wasting your time.

This is also awesome: “Mike Tait is a Philadelphia tour guide who is filing a lawsuit today against the city to secure his constitutional rights.”

Photo by waffler, Creative Commons license

Councilwoman Confused By This ‘Parody’

City Council recently passed Blondell Reynolds Brown’s bill requiring licensing and regulation of Center City tour guides, and Phillymag recently interviewed her about it.

In addition to doing poorly on a Philadelphia history quiz — tsk, tsk! — Brown also… well, you read.

I think the real question here is, why not let tourists believe everything we tell them about our history? It sounds so much cooler if guides say the Declaration of Independence was actually penned by Bruce Springsteen.

Put that in a movie. What do you call it when you take an experience and make fun of it?

… A parody?
A parody! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put it in a parody first and then tell the real story. That’s really not a bad idea. Especially for Bruce Springsteen fans, of which I am one.

Whoo! Thanks, Councilwoman, from saving us from faulty tour guides who tell us Ben Franklin was on the 1983 Sixers with your licensing program and its nonrefundable application fee. The only thing that’d make this bill worthwhile is if the test costs enough to put Ride the Ducks out of business.

Philly Grill: Tour Guide Disciplinarian Blondell Reynolds Brown [Phillymag]

Tour Guides Tell Hilarious Lies

Our city will soon face the long arm of the Tour Guide Gestapo, and for that we have City Councilwoman Blondell Reynolds Brown to thank. But we also have local historian Ron Avery, who testified in favor of the tour guide regulations that will brand all certified tour guides with flair.

He submitted to Heard in the Hall a list of 84 falsehoods he’s heard tour guides say, which is kind of a lot of work to do for tour guide regulation research. Do you think he’ll open a tour guide regulation test prep service?

Some of these lies are pretty awesome, and I submit we should pretend they are true anyway. Go forth, people, and spread these awesome tall tales!

• Trees were planted along streets so illiterate people would know the name of streets. So Pine Street was lined with pine trees etc.
• It’s called Society Hill because Penn gave it the Society of Freemasons.
• Dr. Rush responsible for death of George Washington. He bled him so much and gave him cough medicine with mercury.
• Ben Franklin had 80 illegitimate children all in Sweden.

More »

Tour Guide Regulation Moving Along

Exciting new tour guide regulation is closer than it has ever been. KYW 1060 reports local historian Ron Avery testified to City Council:

“Right now anybody can be a guide in Philadelphia… A test on those facts at least gives them the basics — so they’ll know that Betsy Ross did not sew half the uniforms for the American Revolution, as one guide told me.”

Oh. So will the tour guides be required to tell everyone the Betsy Ross story is a complete fabrication? Hopefully.

Also, the Inky’s Jeff Shields reports there’s still a little work to do on the bill: “Brown said the bill still has work to do — defining what exactly constitutes a tour operator, what types to exempt (such as foreign-language or out of town interpreters).” So, you know, a large majority of the bill. Unless the history tests are already written!

Tour Guides moves out of committee [Heard in the Hall]
History Tests May Soon Be Required for Philadelphia Tour Guides [KYW 1060]

City Council Just On Replay In 2008

City Council meets for the first time in the post-John Street era today, and it’s already getting ready to do important work.

By important work, of course, I mean City Council members are re-introducing previously-failed bills. Jim Kenney wants to get rid of the requirement one has to live in Philly for a year to apply for a city job. This will be time #3 introducing it for Kenney, but it will only be attempt #2 for Blondell Reynolds Brown’s exciting tour guide regulation bill!

The idea is that if we make tour guides take a history test and get certified, they won’t tell us that Thomas Jefferson invented the light bulb. Plus, city bureaucracy will certainly be streamlined if it has to certify freaking tour guides.

Phila. Council Reintroduces Failed Bills from John Street Era [KYW 1060]

Foes Line Up Against Tour Guide Intelligence Bill

Back in March, Councilwoman Blondell Reynolds Brown proposed a bill licensing the city’s tour guides so they don’t tell tourists wrong information about our fair city. I kind of thought that was always one of the perks of tourists: You could tell them whatever the hell you wanted do and they’d believe you! “Oh, yeah, City Hall? The head opens up and shoots out a giant piece of Pez candy every New Year.”

(Please note: Although Ralph “Ben Franklin” Archbold — at right — opposes tour guide regulation, he knows more about Ben Franklin than Ben Franklin did.)

The day the news of her bill broke, ignorant tour guides across the city banded together to stop it. While there weren’t any rallies with people holding signs that read “Thomas Jefferson Invented The Light Bulb,” when Reynolds Brown holds a hearing on the bill there will be protesters, reports KYW 1060’s Karin Phillips:

However, Jonathan Bari, founder of Constitutional Walking Tours, says a license won’t make any tour guide more knowledgeable, but he says it will:

“Increase consumer prices for tours; we think it’s going to deter qualified guides; it’s going to wreak havoc on business operations for small businesses.”

Bari says the proposal is well-meaning but flawed, and he plans on presenting 10 points against it to the council’s parks, recreation and cultural affairs committee.

A 10-point treatise on flaws in tour guide regulation! I bet it came out of the latest issue of Reason.

Phila. Council Holds Hearing On Tour Guide License Bill [KYW 1060]
March 29: City Council To Improve Citizens’ Lives Again
March 30: Ignorant Tour Guides Fight Regulation