‘Inquirer’ Columnists To Retire, Write About Puppydogs

This morning, from Inquirer columnist/Marley & Me author John Grogan:

Like that soldier stepping off the plane into another life, I’m stepping out of one role and into another. Today is my last as an Inquirer staff columnist. I am hanging up column writing to concentrate full time on book projects. Publisher Brian Tierney and my editors want you to know that I was not a casualty of layoffs or cutbacks or any other fate. The decision was mine alone.

Okay, I’ll give this to Grogan: He stuck with the job he was better at. (And the one that made him more money.) But just when I was wondering who was going to tell us about AOL CDs 12 years late, this came over the transom:

Romenesko e-mailed Philadelphia Inquirer columnist Tom Ferrick after getting a report that Friday is his last day at the paper. His reply: “It’s true. I am leaving. After 30 years, I have achieved escape velocity. I am taking early retirement to — what’s that phrase they always use? — pursue other interests. But, I do have a contract to do columns in connection with the mayor’s race for at least 6 months, so my name and face will be appearing in the paper for a while, to the delight of some readers and the dismay of others.”

By the end of the day, the Inquirer might not have any columnists left at all. Somebody keep a watch on Monica Yant-Kinney!

Coming home - and moving on [Inquirer]
Inky columnist Ferrick takes early retirement [Romenesko]

Abridged ‘Inquirer’ Columnists

You didn’t ask for it, but you got it anyway. If you’re wondering, there are about 340 Inquirer columnists. I probably won’t do Q&A columns like the finance one or sports/entertainment pieces, etc.

Tom Ferrick: Well, all of the mayoral candidates suck, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

This, Clearly, Is Why Brian Tierney Bought The Paper

A news story in yesterday’s Inquirer noted that Rick Santorum is helping a challenger get on the ballot for Senate. The strategy is obvious: Santorum helps potential Green Party candidate Carl Romanelli get on the ballot; in return, Romanelli takes votes away from Santorum’s opponent, Bob Casey.

Okay, a fairly natural political story, except this one led Inquirer columnist Tom Ferrick to write a song parody:

If I Only Had A Green

In the polls I am trailin’
My backers are a wailin’
“Rick, what does it mean?”
But the case is prima facie
I could beat Bobby Casey
If I only had a Green.

Oh, I love this Romanelli
Though his politics are smelly
To my backers and to me.
But, hey, let’s not quibble
If the votes that he will nibble
Are the liberal bourgeoisie.

And they say newspapers are dead.

If I Only Had A Green [Tom Ferrick's Poliblog]
Santorum team aiding a Casey rival [Inquirer]