Let’s Not Talk About Sex

The case of the woman in Scranton arrested for cursing at her toilet (which I wrote about three times, if you can believe that) is now before a judge. Wait, really? Why is this at trial?

If you’ve forgotten, the woman said fuck because her toilet was overflowing, her next door neighbor (a Scranton cop) heard her, and asked her to stop, and she cursed at him. He then called the police. I guess you can’t curse at your neighbors now.

But Dyller says for her speech to be criminal and not protected by the First Amendment, it would have to be obscene: “That has to do with sexual language and not just a curse, which may offend someone, but we’re allowed to engage in offensive speech.”

So, basically, we can’t use sexual language in public. I see how it is.

Who Cursed Out Who? Scranton Toilet Case Intensifies

Dawn Herb — the famed Scranton toilet curser — had her day in court yesterday, entering a plea of not guilty.

Herb is charged with disorderly conduct and faces up to 90 days in prison and a $300 fine. Here’s how the Scranton Times-Tribune describes the story:

Patrolman [Gerald] Tallo, however, has maintained that Ms. Herb was creating a public disturbance, according to a police report. He alleges she was yelling and cursing, using the “f-word” so loud in her residence that she could be heard throughout the neighborhood.

Also, he claims that Patrolman Gilman asked Ms. Herb to “watch her mouth, that there were young children in the neighborhood.” This response, Patrolman Tallo said, was met by Ms. Herb saying “fuck you.”

Ms. Herb’s version differs from that of the police. She said her neighbor told her to “Shut the fuck up,” and her response was “Mind your own business.”

Telling the patrolman (or the toilet) to fuck off is certainly the right of every American. The ACLU is expected to defend her against the unconstitutional charges; she’ll be in court Nov. 8. The toilet is expected to be charged with disturbing the peace sometime later this week.

Herb is also expected to compete in the Loudest Person Ever contest, since apparently she could be heard all over Scranton, far and wide.

Woman enters not-guilty plea in toilet tirade with discussion [Times-Tribune]

Toilet Curser Gains International Fame

Hey, everybody! Guess what the new meme on the Internet is? That’s right, it’s the Scranton woman arrested for cursing at her toilet. Okay, it’s not so much a meme as it is a story people are passing around and laughing at.

The Times-Tribune of Scranton picks up the ball today and runs with it, getting an actual photograph of the now historic toilet — almost as good as Larry Craig’s infamous stall at the airport! — and writing about the ACLU defending the woman, who pled not guilty. Yesterday’s column included the best quote in a while: “You can’t prosecute somebody for swearing at a cop or a toilet.” I believe that’s in the Constitution, somewhere in the back.

Scranton officials, however, aren’t laughing.

Scranton Director of Public Safety Ray Hayes said he stands by the officer’s decision.

“Upon further review, many types of these incidents are not as cut and dry as they originally appear,” he said. “Freedom of speech is not an unfettered right.”

Yeah! Totally not cut and dry. For example, the toilet wasn’t overflowing that much, hardly enough to rise above the level of allowing her to say “shit.”

ACLU to defend woman cited for cursing her toilet [Times-Tribune]
Yesterday: Scranton Woman Cited For Cursing At Toilet

Scranton Woman Cited For Cursing At Toilet

When [whoever, look up on Wikipedia before you post] wrote the Bill of Rights, he probably should have stopped after five words. But the next couple words weren’t so bad, either, since it gave us the right to freedom of speech, along with a couple of other super-cool freedoms. An American is free to say he thinks Hitler’s mustache was cute, free to worship God, Jesus or Barbaro, free to print a newspaper that says President Bush is an alien and free to have a job posting stupid jokes on a stupid blog.

Freedom of speech has its limits, though, apparently. Take the case of West Scranton’s Dawn Herb, who could face 90 days in jail and a $300 fine for cursing at her toilet.

Herb was attempting to get her toilet to stop overflowing when she called it a “fucking child rapist asshole motherfucker.” Or, rather, she didn’t call it that, but the article doesn’t say what she said, so I made something up with a bunch of curses in it. She admits saying some “choice words,” though, and her neighbor (a police officer) heard them.

“The toilet was overflowing and leaking down into the kitchen and I was yelling (for my daughter) to get the mop,” she said. “A guy is yelling, ‘Shut the fuck up,’ and I yelled back, ‘Mind your own business.’ ”

After somebody told this woman to “shut the fuck up,” neighbor Patrick Gilman (an off-duty police officer), called the cops and had her arrested for disorderly conduct! In her own house! The citation accuses Herb of cursing “with intent to cause public inconvenience, annoyance or alarm or recklessly (creating) a risk.”

So, if you’re wondering, apparently it’s illegal to annoy me now. Enjoy the archives of this website, ladies and gentlemen, because I am certainly going to jail for a life now.

West Side woman faces jail time for swearing at toilet [Scranton Tribune]