Stephen A. Smith Hollas At Nieces, Nephews

Stephen A. Smith — the ESPN sports analyst, Quite Frankly host and sometimes Inquirer sportswriter — tried to branch out on Saturday, appearing on CNN to discuss the War in Iraq, among other topics.

Deadspin went through the transcript and pulled out some of the funnier parts yesterday — “You have a lot of people out there looking saying all right, you know, Osama bin Laden, this is what he did. With 9/11 and what have you, but we’re in Iraq. You understand? We’re still looking for him,” “I agree with Senator Clinton,” etc. — but here are some of my faves:

Let me tell you a little story, because I’m a little scared. I’m 38 years old. Let me be honest with you. I might as well be 70 that’s how scared I am. Because I look on this side, I sitting out here, I work my butt off every day because I have to take care of my Mama, because she works so hard. So I have to make sure she’s living the life…. You can do it, right!

On the other side, I got like ten — eight nieces and two nephews, these folks walk around with their heads cut off like they don’t know what’s going on.

We’ll step up and handle the challenge faced with us, but only after we crash and burn.

I think moderation will kick in, but only after America continues to burn. I think America’s burning as we speak and anything that’s burning ultimately changing form.

I can’t be sure — it is Stephen A. — but I think he spent his time on national TV over the weekend… making fun of his nieces and nephews.

Transcript [CNN.com]
ALL THEY NEED TO DO IS BOND OVER THESE CHEESY DOODLES [Deadspin]