Philadelphia To Soon Be Free Of Thetans (Or Whatever)

As you may have heard, the Church of Scientology recently purchased a 15-story building on Chestnut Street along with a former toy store in order to expand in the City of Brotherly Love. (One can only wait until the first Scientologist member of the Philadelphia Phillies arrives; the Phils train in Clearwater, Fla., world headquarters of Scientology.)

Just like Christians believe a Jewish carpenter 2,000 years ago was the Messiah and Jews believe they’re the Chosen People of God™ and Hindus believe widows should be shunned and Muslims believe in predestination and a lack of free will, Scientologists believe Xenu came to Earth 75 million years ago with a bunch of humans, who he then blew up with hydrogen bombs, and their spirits harass humans to this day, and Scientology can get rid of them.

Fortunately for Scientology, and unfortunately for other religions, the religion has a group of high-powered lawyers. All hail Xenu! Or, uh, boooo, Xenu! Whichever one is right! Boooo psychiatry! How dare it attempt to help people through science instead of science fiction!

And, of course, this new building will cost the city money:

Property taxes for 2007 on the Chestnut Street parcels were $56,195, according to city records. But if the acquisition is deemed to be a house of worship, it will be exempted from taxes. The church does not pay tax on its headquarters at 1315 Race St., which it bought for $325,000 in 1979.

Eh, at least it’s not another dollar store.

Church of Scientology buys site in Center City [Inquirer]
Shunned from society, widows flock to city to die [CNN.com]