Quickies: Much more important than the ‘War on Christmas’

• Hey, you know Darfur? Sure you do! It’s the war we’re all really up in arms about and a multinational coalition is invading because there’s a genocide and… er, wait. We don’t all care about it and it’s effing crazy. A former Marine who witnessed some of the atrocities speaks at the Free Library tonight. [KYW 1060]

• Hey, college kids! Don’t have an independent student newspaper at your school? It turns out the administration can just censor anything they want! Especially if you print cartoons with Muhammad in them. [Reuters]

• If you have a gun lying around, you can turn it in for some Sixers tickets. Apparently nobody working this promotion has seen the Sixers play this year. [Inky]

• Just an update on the fate of The Platters, who have (apparently) 974 people claiming to once be a member: Gov. Rendell has signed legislation making it illegal to perform as a member of The Platters if you weren’t. Phew. [KYW 1060]

Cleaning up The Platters

Now that it’s 2006, our state legislators have moved from voting themselves pay raises and have decided to focus on more important things: Imitation bands.

Back a long long time ago, most popular music was made by four guys who sang doo wop music while Catholic school girls from St. Hubert’s did the slop on American Bandstand. (Or something like that. All of my knowledge of “doo wop” music is from that episode of Saved by the Bell where the kids form a doo wop group; I’m not really an expert.) Anyway, some of these vocal groups would switch members in and out, and sometimes it becomes confusing as to who was in the group.

To try to fight this, the Senate recently passed Bill 929, which makes it illegal to pretend you’re a band that you’re not in the state of Pennsylvania. To be honest, I kind of thought this was illegal already, but, hey, whatever. (Before this bill goes into effect, I’m going to hold a series “Eminem” concerts in my apartment and make thousands.)

The bill’s sponsor, Sen. Bob Robbins, said on the PA Senate GOP Podcast (sigh) that he became interested in the bill after working with artists in the Vocal Group Hall of Fame (naturally, located in his district).

“There are countless acts that tour the Commonwealth and the country that take the names of these groups,” he said. “The last few years, for example, [imitations of] The Coasters, The Drifters, The Platters and the like, have been doing our county fairs.”

Oh no! Not a fake Coasters! This bill would allow for bands to label themselves as tribute acts — you’re safe, Splintered Sunlight — or for bands to buy the rights to play as The Boardwalks or whatever. (Note: There may not be a group named The Boardwalks.)

The bill, actually, doesn’t really protect modern groups, it only protects groups in the 50s and 60s, according to the bill’s sponsor. Penalties are from $5,000 to $15,000.

Although this might seem like a bit of a frivolous bill, what else to politicians do? And, really, it’s important. I’ll leave you with the words of Sen. Robbins, who sort of sums up what everyone should feel about the bill: “There’s been over 900 people that claim to be part of The Platters. I think it’s 974 individuals…. If I go to see The Platters, I want to see the Platters.”

Me too, Senator. Me too.

Senate Bill 929 [PA Senate]
Podcasts [PASenateGOP.com]