Rendell: Without New SEPTA Funding, We Will Have Flooding For 27 Days And 27 Nights

SEPTA met yesterday to pass a budget, and Ed Rendell decided he needed to quote Lord of the Rings to show how serious this is:

“A day may come when the courage of men fails!” Rendell’s Aragorn told a startled-looking SEPTA board of directors. “But it is not this day! This day, we fight!”

Later, Rendell went even further back in written history by quoting the Bible, although he got the number of apostles confused with the number of pieces of silver Judas betrayed Jesus for:

“Don’t let them buy you off for 12 pieces of silver!” Rendell said, abandoning “Lord of the Rings” for his own interpretation of Judas’ betrayal price, which was actually 30 pieces of silver.

“Dig your heels in!” Rendell exclaimed. “Hold your ground!”

I’m a little unclear as to who, exactly, is betraying whom here, but one can only assume this will culminate in the crucifixion of someone or something, most likely SEPTA. Transfers? Who needs transfers?

Guv urges SEPTA board: ‘Don’t settle!’ [Daily News]

Monopoly For Christians Released

Hey kids! Tired of your Xbox, your Internet, your Nintendo, your interactive games where you can battle your Pokemon (or whatever) against some little snotnose in Japan?

Of course you are! So instead of playing high-tech, interactive games, how about you sit down with a nice board game! I have just the one. It’s called Inheritance. You’ll love it. It’s just like Monopoly, only that in Monopoly the purpose is to bankrupt your opponents and acquire all the cash in the world, while the purpose of Inheritance is to help the poor and learn about King Solomon’s pillars of wisdom. Sounds like a blast!

Be sure to play Inheritance, and then look for the sequel, Inheritance II. It’s just like Candyland, only that instead of gathering gumdrops (or whatever) and getting to the finish, you memorize all of Noah’s sons’ names.

New Game Focuses on the Bible [KYW 1060]