Obama, Inventor Of The Fist Pound

I shall now direct you to the greatest blog post ever, on the American Thinker website. It’s titled “Needed: anti-Obi gestures.”

Here’s how it opens:

Today at tennis, after I made a hard point, my partner offered the Obama fist bump.

“I don’t do that,” I said, and I gave her a stern look. It’s not the first time I’ve run into Obamabots on the courts; the game attracts argumentative, competitive types (of which I may be one). I didn’t stop and lecture the O’Bot, because Wasting Indoor Court Time is a Sin. I just high-fived her with my racquet, and went on playing.

Here are my thoughts, in no particular order, after reading just the first two grafs.

• She really does think Barack Obama invented the fist pound. Look, here’s a jokey (I think) AlterNet article predicting this from June. If you haven’t seen it, be sure to watch this local news clip about the Obama fist pound, also.
• No one, anywhere, ever, is going to perceive someone’s refusal to fist bump as a sign that this person does not like Barack Obama.
• Are Obama supporters known to be argumentative, competitive types? I thought, since they’re robots — hilarious joke, by the way — they’d be docile and easily programmed.
• Is tennis really the sport that attracts the argumentative types? Just because John McEnroe yelled at the umpire 30 years ago or whatever? I dunno. I think you might find more arguments in a game of, say, baseball or basketball than the one that forces you to wear white.
• A stern look? In response to a moment of congratulation from your tennis partner? If I ever play tennis, I hope this person is not my partner.
• I guess that “Wasting Indoor Court Time is a Sin” is written that way because it’s suppose to be an immutable rule, or maybe it’s a sign seen in indoor tennis courts. But I like to think of it that she’s in a religion where one of the commandments is not to waste court time in tennis, with two factions that split a few hundred years ago over whether it applied only indoors or on all tennis courts.

That’s really all I had the stomach for — or, rather, it could only go downhill from there — but feel free to read on! Just wait ’til somebody teaches this writer about the handshake where you kinda half-hug the person. Her head will explode.

Tennis Team To Play In, Uh, Parking Lot

While Chester’s new MLS team does not yet have a name, we at least know it can’t be the Philadelphia Freedom (thankfully), because there’s already a World Team Tennis squadron called the Philadelphia Freedoms.

And, hot damn, while the state helps build a stadium for the soccer team, the Freedoms are left with nothin’. They’re playing games this upcoming season in the King of Prussia Mall parking lot.

Yes, the mall parking lot. And team co-owner Billie Jean King is totally in favor of this as well!

“The timing is right and the Philadelphia market is another perfect opportunity for us to continue with this approach,” she told the Philadelphia Business Journal. “The Freedoms have a new home and we will be driving more traffic to the mall. It’s a win-win for everyone involved.”

It’s only a matter of time before the Kixx begin playing at Rocket Sports.

Phila. Freedoms to play matches in mall parking lot [Phila. Business Journal]

Drexel Tennis Players Go On Campuswide Rampage

Last Sunday, the Drexel men’s tennis team lost a match to Delaware. And what did three members do to celebrate the team’s loss?

Why, they allegedly went on a crime spree!

Cops said the three athletes drank themselves silly Monday night guzzling Miller Lite beer, then used credit cards to jimmy the locks on the front doors of the apartment-style dorms.

They are accused of stealing an Xbox gaming system, jewelry and sporting equipment from various rooms inside University Crossings on 32nd Street near Market in University City.

Drexel’s student newspaper says the students thought they were playing “what they considered [to be] a practical joke,” according to the Philadelphia Police Department. After stealing the booty, the three pranced in front of security cameras, or at least walked under them, leading to their capture.

Drexel’s tennis team is only 6-8, which means the kids will probably go to jail or something.

Three students arrested in U. Crossings [The Triangle]
3 at Drexel charged with burglaries [Inquirer]