Class Optional At Temple

Today’s Temple News has a story about class attendance — or, rather, lack of it. It seems nobody goes to class in college anymore. Hmm. One might call yours truly a trailblazer.

What’s great, though, is even though nobody goes to class Temple kids are still getting ridiculously high grades. Law professor David Adamany explains:

Adamany said reports on Temple grading practices several years ago showed 74 percent of undergraduate grades are ‘A’s or ‘B’s. Some Temple academic programs have higher percentages than others.

“Yet class attendance is spotty, so many students earning high grades are not regularly attending,” he said.

High schoolers: May I suggest applying to Temple?

Lazy learning leads to A’s [Temple News]

Temple Kids Get Valuable Civic Lesson

You voted a few weeks back, no? I can see you now: All bright, chipper, cheery-eyed, if such a term exists. You have your “I Voted for Change” sticker on and you’ve put your Obama hat back on after you left the building, now that Pennsylvania election officials have ruled wearing a shirt of a candidate you like to the polls is highly illegal. (The best is that the argument for this is, “Think of what COULD happen!” What follows is some ridiculous hypothetical situation that would never in a million years happen.)

Anyway, voting. Yes, some Temple kids voted for Obama (wild guess) on Nov. 4, and — whoops! — now they’re realizing their votes won’t count. Only this time it’s not just an existential question about democracy, as they cast provisional ballots and nobody’s going to count all of them. Obviously.

Don’t feel too bad for Kristina Jones, though. She got to vote twice!

Jones filled out four voter registration applications in both Pennsylvania and her home state of New York, but she never received a voter registration card. She registered for the first time in Pennsylvania more than a year ago but “got nothing back,” she said.

After applying for a second time, she said her application was returned through the mail with the word “rejected” stamped on it in red ink. She then cast an absentee ballot in New York.

As it grew closer to Nov. 4, Jones said she feared an absentee ballot might not be counted. She registered once again in Pennsylvania, just in time for her application to be processed before Election Day.

Jones was told she would be on the polling place’s list of supplemental voters, but once she arrived, her name was not found. Though she filled out a provisional ballot, she has some doubts about whether it was counted.

Yeah. We God-fearing Americans have the right to vote in as many states as we want, as many times as we want, for whatever candidate we want! (Because it doesn’t matter. You see how hating politics can quickly lead to “plans for massive electoral fraud?” I bet this is how Nixon got started.)

Students cast doubt over their provisional ballots [Temple News]
Photo by Post406 used under a Creative Commons license

Temple Football Team Has Winning Record

How about that! Local college football laughingstock Temple opened its season with a 35-7 win over Army, the program’s first opening game win since 2002. (That was a win over Richmond, who is a I-AA school; the year before Temple opened with a win over Navy. The last time Temple opened the season with a win over a team that wasn’t a service academy or a team from a lower division was when the Owls beat Eastern Michigan to open the 1996 season.)

Now that Temple has a winning record for the first time since ‘02, the school is attempting to do the unthinkable: Attract fans to the games! Temple plays a short subway ride away from campus at Lincoln Financial Field, and clearly the planned pre-game pep rallies will give the Owls the moral support for their first winning season since… oh, let’s just say “ever.” (It’s actually 1990.)

La Salle’s traditionally horrible football team, incidentally, remains undefeated this year as well, as the program was dropped.

Update: Here’s more about the game from my buddy Tannenwald; Temple was outgained but still won by 28. Be sure to read the surprisingly somewhat angry comments from Temple alums!

Temple football opens with 35-7 win over Army [Daily News]
Owls hope to fill the Linc this year [Temple News]
La Salle University to drop football [GoExplorers.com]

The Doctor Who Made Temple Proud

While researching a column yesterday, I found this excellent piece on the history of recreational drug use in America. And a decent chunk of the story concerns a doctor from Temple University.

Where, oh where, in this story, are we going to find an expert witness? Here it comes — sure enough — the guy from Temple University — the guy with the dogs. I promise you, you are not going to believe this.

In the most famous of these trials, what happened was two women jumped on a Newark, New Jersey bus and shot and killed and robbed the bus driver. They put on the marijuana insanity defense. The defense called the pharmacologist, and of course, you know how to do this now, you put the expert on, you say “Doctor, did you do all of this experimentation and so on?” You qualify your expert. “Did you write all about it?” “Yes, and I did the dogs” and now he is an expert. Now you ask him what? You ask the doctor “What have you done with the drug?” And he said, and I quote, “I’ve experimented with the dogs, I have written something about it and” — are you ready — “I have used the drug myself.”

What do you ask him next? “Doctor, when you used the drug, what happened?”

With all the press present at this flamboyant murder trial in Newark New Jersey, in 1938, the pharmacologist said, and I quote, in response to the question “When you used the drug, what happened?”, his exact response was: “After two puffs on a marijuana cigarette, I was turned into a bat.”

Who knew Batboy was from Philadelphia? This article also contains this quote from said doctor: “I wouldn’t know, I am not a dog psychologist.”

Stupid Newsletter Editor Fired

The University Village Apartment complex near Temple sent out its newsletter earlier this month with a little April Fool’s Day poem on the backside.

But whoops! The poem contained the line “Extinct are the Jews,” and now somebody has been fired at University Village. As CBS 3’s Jamie Smith reported, “The newsletter offended many at the apartment complex.” Gee, you think?

Video after the jump. (Note: Yes, Redlasso clips crash some browsers still, and that’s why I keep embedding them after the jump. I apparently hadn’t posted this warning before; sorry about that.)

More »

Your Temple Pick Was Probably Wrong

Aw, nertz. Temple played good defense early, but is now simply getting outhustled down the court by Michigan State and it’s a big Michigan State lead at halftime. The Spartans went on a 15-2 run midway through the half and lead, 35-26. Ryan Brooks scored 7 points in just over a minute for the Owls and has 10.

Dionte Christmas has no points at halftime, and Mark Tyndale only has 2. For a while, Temple was shooting 20 percent from the field. Twenty percent! Temple had the 19th best effective field goal percentage in the country during the season.

Temple opened the second half with a 16-2 run in the Atlantic 10 Championship game against Saint Joseph’s; it will take something at halftime from Fran Dunphy, the Wizard of North Broad Street.

On the plus side, Billy Packer isn’t announcing this game. On the Xavier-Georgia game — one of my Sweet 16 teams is losing by double digits! — Packer just said a player “didn’t start playing basketball until he was much later in his years. From Kentucky.”

The Best Two Days Of The Year

I make a lot of jokes on this website, but here is something 100 percent serious: If you’re not into the first four days of the NCAA Tournament, please don’t bother talking to me this weekend. Or maybe ever. If you’re not spending your day at work today sneaking out to watch Temple play at 12:30 or maybe watching games online using a proxy

The moment I was 100 percent sure the Iraq War was an awful idea was when George Bush decided he wanted to start it on the first day of the NCAA Tournament. Clearly, he was a freedom-hating warmonger who interrupted the greatest sports days of the year with a stupid little war; I knew he couldn’t have a post-invasion plan. Maybe if John Kerry had said that at a debate, we wouldn’t have had to live through four more years of Bush.

Temple ate its pregame meal last night its game today is so early; apparently the Owls also are in a hotel somewhere in Wyoming for games at the Pepsi Center in Denver.

Temple’s at 12:30, Joe’s and ‘Nova are tomorrow night. There are 29 other games today and tomorrow, and I have no doubt once again watching ‘em will be a blast.

Update: My buddy Dave wrote a March Madness column for the Daily Local; the website is actually working right now, so read it before it breaks again.

Frantic Final Minutes Of TU-SJU

Hey, I know not everyone who reads this blog is a sports person, but above is the last three minutes and change from last night’s Temple-Saint Joseph’s game at the Palestra. It’s everything the best Big 5 games at the Palestra are like. Although the shorts are longer now, basketball games like this have been a part of the Philadelphia landscape for over 50 years. The Liberty Bell? Puh-leeze. Give me this any day.

Although, to the Temple kids: Storming the court? I dunno, I hate complaining about that because I feel like an old man and I’d have stormed the court, too.

Temple edges St. Joseph’s in Palestra thriller [Inquirer]

Inquirer Narcs On Temple Puppy Auction

During Saturday’s game against St. Joseph’s, Temple held an auction for its sports programs. One of the items up for bid was a nine-week old golden retriever puppy. (Since the school can’t auction sex, it clearly knows “puppies” is about the best it can do.)

And guess who won the auction? Temple women’s basketball coach Dawn Staley, hardly a Michael Vick of the sports world. She’s going to give it to her mother, and something tells me Dawn Staley’s mom might have enough time and money to care for the dog and give it a good home. Clearly, this is a win-win for all people.

But wait! The Inquirer was having none of this, and seemingly notified the authorities (or at least Temple) about the puppy auction. Even though the state is the puppy mill capital of the United States, auctioning off a dog is apparently illegal in Pennsylvania.

Anyway, the story has quotes worrying about how a college student could care for a dog, even though it was adopted by a multi-millionaire athlete. Yes, one shouldn’t purchase a pet on a whim, but winning one at an auction and buying one in a pet store are pretty much the same thing, only the legal pet store option is much, much worse.

Temple could get fined for auctioning off said nine-week old adorable puppy. The Inquirer will get fined for using a record number of puns (345) in one news story. The puppy will probably get a bone or something.

Puppy auction buys Temple a little spot of trouble [Inquirer]

Temple Paying A Bit More Than Penn State Per Win

Hey, there’s something I missed last week (or, worse, read about and then missed): Temple coach Al Golden makes more than Joe Paterno. Joe Pa has also donated millions to the school, so his salary doesn’t really mean anything.

Paterno makes $512,664; Golden makes $575,000.

Golden makes more than JoePa [Broad & Cecil]