Teaching Fourth Grade Does Really Suck

Authorities in Bucks County charged elementary school teacher Susan Romanyszyn with 17 counts of making terroristic threats. The 45-year-old allegedly put up multiple signs around the school threatening violence.

Oh, and the reason for her anonymous threats? She was assigned to teach fourth grade instead of fifth. I can sort of understand that; in fifth you get to do the first “wear deodorant” talk. Plus you have to teach less because DARE is in your classroom once a week. I mean, who doesn’t like watching a police officer show you cocaine?

The letters were also done in childish handwriting.

“Your so stuped I have to kill you,” read one message on a folded-up piece of notebook paper that was found by a lunch monitor. “I won’t stop til you all die,” read another that was found by a teacher in the school gym.

Bucks County DA Michelle Henry — could this be the famed “hot Bucks County prosecutor” immortalized in a Craigslist posting? — says she also planted a fake explosive device in a kid’s desk. Hey, it’s a teacher who’s finally not sleeping with a student.

Teacher Accused Of Terrorizing Her School Out On Bond [NBC 10]
Teacher accused of making threats [BCCT]

Ultra-Disgusting Local Child Sex Attempt!

You may have heard already about the ex-York teacher arrested for soliciting sex with a woman and her daughters online. He thought it was a woman and her daughters; unluckily for him, it was a police officer.

Anyway, the overview of the story is much less creepy than the details. Take it away, Delco Times!

Found in the vehicle were three bottles of Merlot; one four-pack of white Zinfandel wine; one four-pack white Merlot wine; a Christmas card for the mother he thought he was meeting, which contained a lottery ticket dated Jan. 12; one Hannah Montana CD wrapped in Christmas paper; one Hannah Montana video game wrapped in Christmas paper; Viagra; condoms; one Ziploc plastic bag containing condoms; KY warming jelly; and a disposable camera. [...] “When do you think she will be able to enjoy sex?” he asked, regarding the 9-year-old.

Ew. Anyway, this dude will probably die in jail or something, but nobody will care because, well, we don’t care about what happens to people once they’re in jail.

Best Damn Teacher Ever Back In School

A female Spanish teacher, 42-year-old Pamela Maier, who allegedly kissed a female student on the cheek is back teaching at Haddon Township High School. Yay!

Maier was suspended last month after parents of a sophomore filed a lawsuit alleging Maier kissed her on the cheek, then licked her face. Damn. I usually have to pay for that kind of thing. Anyway, the girl says she had shingles because of stress related to the incident, and some lawyer chimed in with some pain and suffering crap too.

To make sure everything in the school remains on the up-and-up, the teacher isn’t allowed to leave her room except to teach and use the bathroom. It’s kind of a form of school arrest, even though the teacher was never charged with anything. Welcome back to school, kids!

Teacher in kissing case back in school [Camden Courier-Post]

As If Journalism Doesn’t Have Enough Problems Already

Hottie ex-teacher Debra Lafave, who was convicted in one county in Florida of having sex with a 14-year-old student in 2004, had similar charges in another county dropped yesterday when the judge rejected a plea deal and prosecutors decided making the boy testify would be too much of a burden. (Some of the alleged sex happened in a different county, hence the double set of charges.)

Anyway, Lafave won’t be serving any jail time, but is on house arrest for three years, probation for seven and will have to register as a sex offender. Now that the ordeal is finally over, she did what any God-fearing American would do: Hold a press conference.

Lafave says she’s sorry, says she regrets what she did and also — of course! — blames the media for focusing too much attention on the case. The irony that she said this at a press conference she was holding was apparently lost on her. And, well, she’s not going to let that perceived journalistic sin go unpunished:

Lafave criticized the extensive media coverage her case received, accusing reporters of invading the privacy of her former student.

She said she was taking a journalism course online, adding, “God has given me a great outlet to write, and I would hope I could reach people through writing.”

Well, at least she’ll be a writer who’s scandalous for something other than making shit up.

Prosecutors drop sex case against teacher [CNN.com]