FBI To Descend On Center City

The feds have apparently taken a suggestion from Buzz Bissinger and are sending in some federal SWAT agents to Philadelphia¹! Only instead of anywhere crime-ridden it’s in Center City, and instead of a real SWAT team it’s some sort of a movie shoot.

A letter recently went out to residents around 16th and Market that included this:

On this day [Saturday] we will be filming scenes on the rooftop of a building in the area of 16th& Market Streets. To accomplish these scenes we will require filming from, and of, helicopters. There will be two helicopters flying and hovering in the vicinity of 16th & Market Streets for the duration of the day, beginning at 5:00am. These helicopters will be marked with FBI insignia and outfitted with film cameras.

This is, I kid you not, part of the filming of a Bollywood movie. The Film Office just sent out a release about it: “The scene involves at least two helicopters which will be dressed as FBI machinery and will have stunt men acting as SWAT agents suspended from the aircraft and shooting blanks.” Just another day in Philadelphia!

(Meanwhile, all the Ron Paul people are saying, “See! I told you! Illuminati!”)

¹ The full sentence by Bissinger: “If the Feds want to earn our taxpayer dollars, they can send a SWAT team to my hometown of Philadelphia to reduce the homicide rate that is turning swaths of the inner city into another Baghdad.” I love the comparison of Philadelphia to Baghdad. Not because it’s wrong (it is) but because it’s the New York Times‘ nice way of saying to Iraq: Sure, we’ll supported the invasion of your country, but to make up for it we’ll replace Beiruit with your capital city’s name in a cliche.

Cops Bring Out Firepower For Rushdie

Salman Rushdie spoke at Widener University yesterday, and the school took a few extra precautions for security in case anybody tried to assassinate the writer (pictured at right, with his estranged, possibly ex-, wife). The school apparently forgot that assassinating Rushdie is so early ’90s, and had SWAT teams (”tactical units,” sez the DN) and K-9 units guarding the place.

Rushdie was kinda confused at all the security. “It’s insane!” he told the Daily News. “I was absolutely horrified. Assault rifles, tracker dogs - they scare me!” The school said it knew Rushdie, who called Barack Obama “the change guy” during his speech, didn’t want security; top brass from Chester County met him at 30th Street Station.

There don’t appear to have even been any protesters at the event. Still, at least the dogs could search for kids who know you really need to be stoned to enjoy Salman Rushdie in full. It’s of no surprise this kind of thing happened at Widener.

Salman Rushdie ‘horrified’ by security for Widener U. visit [Daily News]