Rep. Proposes $5 Strip Club Tax

Above is Bucks County State Rep. Paul Clymer (click to enlarge for freakishly large version). The above dude wants to tax all strip club patrons $5 because he thinks they’re going to go out and rape people. “These clubs bring the problems of prostitution, drug and alcohol abuse and questionable characters,” said Clymer. “They have no redeeming value for communities.” Whee!

Also big on questionable characters: Libraries. (Really!) The money would go to fund the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape. Unfortunately for them, my guess is their lobbyists aren’t quite as good as the lobbyists for strip clubs, and so this will fail. Texas had a similar law that was struck down as unconstitutional, but Clymer says his law is better and constitutional.

Oh, yeah, and this idea is called a “pole tax.” Ha ha, just a little throwback line to the time when blacks, poor people and questionable characters were prevented from voting by rich politicians.

Clymer tax would hit strip clubs [Bucks County Courier Times]

Men Protest Naked Women

Last Ash Wednesday, Milford Township in Bucks County held a meeting about a proposed strip club in the township. The go-go bar actually just went and opened on Dec. 14 of last year, claiming Milford’s zoning is unconstitutional and neener neener you can’t do anything about it.

Anyway, over 100 people packed the meeting and the owner of Coyotes strip club was escorted in by a security detail. There were also a group of anti-porn male activists in attendance; the group is called King’s Men, brought signs decrying porn (for some reason) and are probably the coolest people on the face of the planet, since they’re men in an anti-porn activism group.

The strip club is BYOB and its bartenders “have formal training in detecting intoxicated patrons,” The Intelligencer reports. Also, apparently the Republican state rep for the area is all against naked ladies, too:

Republican state Rep. Paul Clymer, whose 145th District includes Milford, said the club could cause a ripple effect of crime in the area. “They’re going to fill customers up with pornography, sex and alcohol. How are they going to keep them from going out and becoming destructive in the community?” asked Clymer.

The article doesn’t say whether Clymer offered any studies or reports of the effect of a strip club on an area, but of course the people protesting don’t really care if there are studies saying strip clubs inflate property values 300 percent. And neither do I!

Oh, and a ton of people were heckling the strip club owner while wearing their ashes from services earlier that day. Remember, O man, that you are dust, and unto dust you shall return.

Hearing on Coyotes strip club attracts throng [The Intelligencer via Philly EDGE]
Photo via David Garrett, The Intelligencer

Pa. Sen. Probably Hates Porn, Too

Hmm, when Chuck Ramsey does his little crime report thingy, I can safely assume it will not suggest closing down all of Philadelphia’s strip clubs. Strippers — or “heroes,” as I like to call them — are most certainly blameless in the city’s murder epidemic, except maybe for that shooting at ex-Allen Iverson hangout Club Wizzards last year.

But, out in Western Pennsylvania, Republican State Senator Jane Oriethinks strip clubs are just plain evil or something and wants to tax them more, because the GOP is the party of low taxes and personal choice.

“What I’m trying to do is have the state of Pennsylvania conduct the same study [as Texas, which just instituted a $5 pole (ho ho!) tax], to look at the adult entertainment industry, and the secondary effects it has, for example, with child abuse, and with domestic violence, with mental health issues.”

Mental health issues? There’s nothing more depressing than a pair of giant fake tits in your face.

Lawmaker Lobbys For Study on Pa. Strip Clubs [KYW 1060]

Update: Club Shooting A Murder-Suicide Attempt?

The accidental shooting at a strip club last night the Daily News reported this morning apparently wasn’t an accidental shooting at all.

Police are now calling it an attempted murder-suicide, KYW 1060’s Sonya Rincon reports.

The man shot the dancer — not merely spattered his blood on her breasts, as was reported earlier — and then attempted to take his own life, police say. He was a regular customer at Cheerleaders, but no motive has been offered.

Neither party was killed. The 31-year-old dancer was just upgraded to stable condition, while the 49-year-old man is in “extremely critical” condition at Jefferson Hospital.

Update update: The shooter passed away this afternoon.

Double Shooting at Phila. Strip Club Investigated As Murder- Suicide Attempt [KYW 1060]

This Is Why I Leave My Gun At Home When I Go To The Local Strip Club

Patrons at Cheerleaders were having a good time watching the silicone bounce — or, rather, not bounce — last night until, oh, a dude accidentally shot himself in the head. The Daily News‘ David Gambacorta writes:

Police were called to the topless bar - a sports-theme establishment nestled in a quiet South Philly shopping center - about 9:30 p.m. A patron had accidentally shot himself in the head, splattering a bare-chested dancer with his blood.

Investigators said it appeared that the unidentified middle-aged man was somehow carrying his firearm improperly, which might have caused it to discharge while he was sitting inside the topless bar.

Wait, he splattered a stripper? (Uh, that sounds dirty.) Was she giving him a lap dance? Man, that’d be a way to go.

Gun goes off in topless bar; man critical [Daily News]

Leftovers: Mannequin From, Uh, ‘Mannequin’ To Head To Be Donated Later This Week

• Sly Stallone donated some Rocky memorabilia to the Smithsonian yesterday. D.C. hipsters seething on their blogs as we speak. [AP/Metro]

• Lincoln University’s athletic director has apologized for his school’s 201-78 win over Ohio State-Marion, and apparently lectured the coaches, too, though as of last night no coaches had been lectured. [Inquirer]

• It’s not just Cherry Hill that’s fighting the War on Smut! Two Burlington strip clubs are suing the township over new laws that bar them from doing pretty much everything. Cue the “But we’re saving the children!” reference. [Bucks County Courier Times]

• The City Controller’s office says that police buildings are substandard. KYW 1060’s Steve Tawa reports the controller had photos showing “showing walls in imminent danger of collapse, basement fire exits blocked by grates, pipes and wire mesh, and prison holding cells beyond filthy.” Oh, goodie. [KYW 1060]

• Oh, and the mayor of Lake Como, N.J., is going to ask Kuwait if the Arab nation will build a $4 million police station for the town. Guh-wah? [AP/NBC 10]

Swingers ‘Invade’ Lehigh Valley

Not content to let Christine Flowers be the only one moralizing about Club Kama Sutra, NBC 10 recently reported on the swingers’ club’s new location in the Lehigh Valley.

Club Kama Sutra, of course, used to hold swingers — or, as NBC 10 reports it, “swingers” (perhaps with finger quotes!) — parties in Philadelphia until CBS 3 did a scare report acting like they were the first ones to discover the well-known sex club. While NBC 10 doesn’t pull a CBS 3 and act like the world is ending because people like to have kinky sex, they do quote all the neighbors who are upset in the sleepy town of Coopersburg.

The Silhouette Showbar, a strip club, will be holding weekly sex parties for Club Kama Sutra members on Saturday nights. And the residents are opposed to it because:

“That’s disgusting,” said one resident. “It’s wrong, it’s immoral,” said another.

“It’s just not something you want in this quaint town of Coopersburg,” said Kathy Meinhart.

“Why do they need a club, why not go to their houses,” said Glen Rowe. “We got a daycare across the street, I have a 16 year old daughter.”

“The people who frequent those places have problems so it would be harmful to the families that live around there,” said Jeanette Alosi.

“I think we ought to get our video cameras and just camp out in the parking lot,” said a resident.

Ahh, yes, because the clientele of your normal swingers club — who walk in, pair off, have sex (well, I assume) — is definitely way worse than the people normally in the strip joint.

However, the Coopersburg residents should probably take a shot at that video camera idea. Because people who swap wives and husbands will definitely be worried if the residents of Coopersburg have a videotape of them! Hell, they’d probably get off on it.

Swingers’ Club Invades Small Local Town [NBC 10]

Court Takes Away Right To Strip

That’s it. The terrorists have officially won.

Court: Strippers’ work not covered [Inquirer]

Won’t Someone Think Of The Children?

The proposed Scores strip club in Northern Liberties might not be dead yet. Dan Gross reports today:

Scores is battling on. The strip-club chain has filed an appeal in Common Pleas Court to the Zoning Board of Adjustment’s May decision to block the club from opening a local outlet at 450 N. 6th St. on the site of what had been the Bash and Suite 450 nightclubs. The club has the right zoning, but needs a special use certificate to become an adult cabaret.

In our mind, it’s quite simple. Strip clubs make money. Lots of money. Money that gets taxed by the city. Money that could go toward schools. Imagine, the more couch dances sold, the more kids who may actually learn to read.

Yep, just think. Every time you see Amber’s DDs little Tommy’s social studies textbook at his South Philly grade school just gets better and better. Stripping is learning.

Scores strip club keeps up fight [Daily News, third item]

Quickies: Keep Your Clothes On In NoLibs

• The Scores in Northern Liberties has been voted down by the zoning board, who said they were okay with a strip club, just not at that location. In other news, Delilah’s Den received the okay for an extension, so, y’know, next year’s Entertainer of the Year™ contest should be even bigger! Whoo! [Daily News]

• Okay, so Pennsylvania and Utah are the only states that make you buy alcohol in state stores (Nevermind; I had bad info. Whoops!); New Jersey and Oregon are the only ones that won’t let you pump your own gas. Well, the only state where you couldn’t get a tattoo was Oklahoma, until the government legalized it yesterday. AP story sez: “Previous attempts to lift the ban over the past decade were fought on health as well as moral grounds.” Expect the GOP to come up with a “federal tattoo amendment” in time for the November elections. [AP/Yahoo!]

• The search has intensified for the man alleged to have killed police officer Gary Skerski. Daily News letter writers, of course, are concerned about the Tuesday Daily News coverage, alleging some sort of “trivializing.” Erhm. [DN]

• Absentee ballots from a Neshaminy nursing home accidentally ended up at Patrick Murphy’s office. Murphy is the ex-military man who’s running as a Democrat for Congress. And they’re looking to see if this is against the law! “If they’re looking to prosecute somebody because their ride came late, I’d say that’s trying to hit a fly with a sledgehammer,” says the deputy chairman of the Democrats in Buxco. Please, Mr. Chairman, sledgehammers are a good way of getting rid of flies. [Bucks County Courier Times]

• Did USA Today just break a story on how the NSA has a huge database of all calls made seemingly everywhere by everyone in America? Impressive. Also, uhm, sigh. [USA Today]