‘Daily News’ Declares Opposition To Relationships

Today is Friday, which not only means checking out of work early and browsing blogs more often than usual but also the weekly Steve & Mia sex-and-dating advice column in the Daily News. (Yeah, I bet you didn’t see that coming next, did you? Ahh, the lazy lead that has nothing to do with the rest of the writing. Where would I be without you?)

In today’s S&M (ho, ho) a man writes in asking the two sex columnists to help him set up a date with a woman who wrote in a few weeks ago.

Q: I was just reading your recent column in which you got an e-mail from a 31-year-old single woman who said she was shy and wanted to know where to go besides bars. Well, I am a 34-year-old single male. Do you guys ever play matchmaker? Could you ask this girl if she has the courage to go on a blind date, or at least talk to someone through e-mail? If so, please get back to me and I will let you know any info you or she may need.

Steve: Steve and Mia don’t play matchmaker because the odds don’t work for us. Most relationships fail, and we’d prefer not to be blamed.

Mia: I second that. Find your own dates. Oh, and all those prisoners and ex-cons out there? Please stop sending me your photos.

Well, I’ll give the Daily News one thing: If you’re going to have an advice column, you might as well make it a mean advice column. “Find your own dates, you ugly SOB!”

Steve and Mia | Her reunion fling spiced up bedroom [Daily News]

A Real Life Sex Kitten

In today’s Steve & Mia, the anonymous sex Q&A written by two Daily News staffers, a question — actually, a follow-up question — comes in about neighbors who have bedroom habits that are, shall we say, a bit loud.

My wife and I had the same problem as your writer in last week’s column - thin walls, neighbor who didn’t care that we could hear everything (and who sounded so weird that the first time we heard her, we raced through our apartment thinking one of our cats was screaming for help).

Now that has got to be a girl you want to spend time in bed with. What does she shout, “Meow”?

Steve and Mia | Look like a zero if he asks for her number? [Daily News]
Photo from The Daily Kitten

I’d just be happy she had insurance

An intriguing question today from Steve & Mia, the Daily News sex column:

Q: My girlfriend is on the birth control pill, which costs her about $20 a month. She thinks I should pay half the cost.

I said she should break down the daily pill cost, and each day that we have sex, I’ll pay for half the pill. She said I was being a money-grubbing jerk. I think it’s just smart money management.

What do you guys think?

Steve and Mia have their answers, but I think I can solve this one: It’s ten fucking dollars. Do you know how much sex that would buy on the open market? Zilch. $10 is a bargain for regular sex.

Who pays for the pill? [DN]

Quickies: Send in the goon

• While real police officers are out on the street actually trying to deal with crime (more or less), and the news media is writing stories trying to figure out why the murder rate went up last year, and yours truly is blogging about newspaper typos (always a way to slow the rise in murders), Police Commissioner Sly Johnson is blaming the news media and saying there’s no way cops can stop crime. Oh yeah! [NBC 10 via Philebrity]

• The Inky has a scoop on older women dating younger men. (And it’s not even by Faye Flam.) As a young man, I highly encourage more stories like this. Many more. [Inky]

• Steve & Mia come up with a great made up first question today that’s quite funny. (Disclaimer: I don’t know if the questions to Steve & Mia are made up. In all fairness, I also think that every single S&M question is real. I just allege that they’re fake because, come on! I feel the same way about Herb Denenberg, too. Update: Wendy Warren says that letter is real, and I’ll take her word for it. Even more awesome, then.)

• The infamous Sid the Snake, terror of Bucks County, has died. Let’s all say a prayer for Sid. I’ll be holding a candlelight vigil tonight. [Bucks County Courier Times]