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N.J. State Troopers Form Death Metal Band


New Jersey’s state government has agreed to pay $400,000 to settle a lawsuit from a former state trooper who claims he was beaten and harassed by a rogue group of troopers known as the Lords of Discipline.

The Lords of Discipline… opening for Slipknot!

Or maybe a pro wrestling tag team. Either way, it’s awesome.

State settles lawsuit with ex-state trooper [AP/Camden Courier-Post]

I-76 To Be Law-Free Zone?

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In just one day, you — yes, you — will be able to be ticketed for speeding on the Schuylkill Expressway! Well, you would be able to if anyone was actually able to travel more than 30 miles per hour on that road.

Tomorrow state troopers will begin patrolling for speeders on I-76 in Philadelphia, freeing up Philadelphia police to go stop homicides or something. (Good luck, guys!) The difference is that state cops are the only ones allowed to use radar, and it saves the city something like $6 million a year. State troopers will eventually also begin patrolling I-95 and the Vine Street Expressway by 2008.

The city’s police force, of course, isn’t happy about being forced to fight actual crime.

The Philadelphia police union opposes the use of state troopers on interstates inside city limits, and plans to file an unfair labor practice action and seek an injunction early next week.

Sweet. There’s going to be a chance nobody will be patrolling the road at all, and then we can speed, cheat, lie, steal and sell firecrackers on the Schuylkill without any chance of being caught!

Pa. State Police To Start Patrolling Schuylkill Expressway in Phila. [KYW 1060]

State Trooper Protests Phillies’ Fans Booing Of Bonds

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A police officer in West Chester did his best [pick one: Jose Canseco, Mark McGwire, Barry Bonds] impression and arrested for possession.

33-year-old Jeffrey Dillig of Kennett Square was arrested after police searched a van Dillig reported stolen in August. It contained (deep breath): about 50 vials labeled with nine steroids, about 100 needles, 50 syringes and 11 syringes with needles attached.

And this man was a state trooper. Geeze, no wonder they’re surly when they pull you over for going 80 on the turnpike. It’s all roid rage.

Juicing Officer Charged With Steroid Possession [NBC 10]