LOVE Triangle Leads To Fatal Stabbing

Um, yeah: Yesterday, two women were arguing over Tony Stewart (not the race car driver) in LOVE Park, when one of the women fatally stabbed the other.

As far as I can remember, this is what precipitated the renovation of the park to make it “unskateboardable.” No, wait, that was just a bunch of suburban kids who pissed off John Street because they brought a major week-long event to the city (and were white). Well, whatever. Here’s the details from yesterday:

Cops said that the squabble reached a tipping point at about 3 p.m., when Stewart’s homeless girlfriend, Yvette Prince, slugged her rival in the head. The other woman, also homeless, jumped up and plunged a knife into Prince’s chest.

Prince, 45, died of her injuries at Hahnemann University Hospital at 4:54 p.m., investigators said. The unidentified stabber, who is in her 50s, was taken into police custody, but charges were not filed as of last night.

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Clinton Supporter STABS Obama Backer!

The Daily News reports today that — this was Will Bunch’s final prediction, I believe — political elites in Philadelphia are being courted by various Clinton and Obama supporters.

It’s fitting, then, that political have-nots are also debating whether to vote for Clinton or Obama. (Here’s a t-shirt of the attached image.) While the political elites woo favor with promised and money and puppydogs, the plebs have to use a more brute force approach. In Montgomery County, two brothers argued about Clinton and Obama ’til the Clinton supporter stabbed the Obama supporter. (The Obama supporter, Sean Shurelds, was allegedly choking the Clinton supporter first.)

Hillary’s camp is sure getting desperate. Obama looks like a shoo-in for the Democratic nomination anyway, and it’s not like 28-year-old Jose Ortiz (the alleged stabber) would be able to help Clinton’s cause anyway. KYW 1060 reports he’s a registered Republican. The knife the Clinton supporter stabbed the Obama dude with was found in the dishwasher, which is probably some sort of sexist commentary on a woman’s place in society.

Son Stabber Hailed As American Hero

There are a lot of heroes in today’s world, but none are greater than Upper Darby’s Lawrence Dugan Sr., who attempted to murder his son. Yesterday, he officially became a free man, as his three months time served before posting bail was applied to his one-month sentence.

Dugan Jr. wouldn’t testify against his father, so Michael Chitwood — who told the best joke of all last year when he said the War on Drugs makes us safer — did the only natural thing and hailed him a hero:

“At the end of the day, I think justice has been served,” Chitwood said. “The father, even though he was the stabber, he was not the villain in this case.”

Ahh, yes, you see, the son was a heroin addict whose mom called him “evil.” Dugan Jr. is back in jail on theft charges — the article helpfully notes he was a “junkie” and that he was so evil he stabbed someone — and the father is not allowed any contact with his son. “Junior is a bad guy. You name it, he’s done it,” Chitwood said. “Junior is not an innocent victim in society. He put that family in fear.” Woo-hoo, vigilante justice in Upper Darby! I’m gonna kill all the scumbags I see — maybe I’ll get a parade!

Upper Darby man who stabbed junkie son is freed [Daily News]