Sen. Specter Has Priorities In Order

Yesterday, former New England Patriots employee Matt Walsh met with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and Sen. Arlen Specter to talk about Spygate, the scandal where Walsh and others videotaped other teams and helped the Patriots kick some puppies, beat up dwarves and cheat to several Super Bowl titles.

The NFL says, “Oh, this scandal is all over, sorry everybody.” But Arlen Specter isn’t having any of that! Yes, the man who should be investigating any one of the number of United States atrocities in the name of the wars on Iraq or terror or drugs is content to investigate the New England Patriots.

“They are enormous role models for everybody,” Specter said. “If you can cheat in the NFL, you can cheat in college, you can cheat in high school, you can cheat on your grade-school math test. There’s no limit as to what you can do. I think they owe the public a lot more candor and a lot more credibility.”

Cue your own favorite stolen 2000 election joke up, people!

Anyway, Congress will probably do a hearing or a Mitchell Report-type investigation while President Bush continues to videotape other team’s playcalling signals unabated.

Sen. Specter wants independent investigation into Spygate [AP/Philly.com]

Arlen Specter Continues To Annoy

Arlen Specter finally met with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell regarding Spygate. The NFL scandal concerns videotaping of opposing teams by the New England Patriots, which allowed a historically awful franchise and a former Cleveland Browns coach to win three Super Bowls.

Specter met with the NFL commish and said he wasn’t satisfied with the results of his discussion; he’s already planning on holding hearings about the destruction of the Patriots’ tapes of other teams. He’s even thinking of getting rid of the NFL’s antitrust exemption!

In the clip attached to this post, The Daily Show’s Jon Stewart discusses how Arlen Specter is an absolutely worthless senator.

Oh, Arlen [The Daily Examiner]
Goodell’s explanation doesn’t sway Specter [LA Times]

Comcast, Senator Team Up To Screw You

Hey, guess, what, fellas? Will Bunch has quite the scoop! Turns out Arlen Specter doesn’t really care about you, or the Eagles, at all! Yes, apparently he only cares about people who give him money, making him a politician.

As you may have read earlier, Specter wants to investigate the NFL for Spygate because he just loves fair sports so much and there hasn’t been much else going on in Washington. Ha ha, that’s just what ol’ Arlen said, though, and I hope you knew it wasn’t true since a politician said it.

Bunch writes that two of Specter’s biggest donors are Comcast and lobbying firm Blank Rome, who lobbies for Comcast. Comcast, as you know, is in a war with the NFL over the NFL Network. (Isn’t it cute when multi-million dollar corporations fight?) This is probably why Arlen Specter is angry about the NFL’s exclusive deal with DirecTV, yet silent on Comcast SportsNet’s refusal to sell the channel to satellite systems.

Basically, all it means is a politician is screwing you over. But you already knew that.

Arlen’s tangled Comcastic mess: It’s worse than you think [Attytood]