Your New Favorite Restaurant

Good Day Philadelphia was on location this morning at the above restaurant. (The event? The Phily Diner is now serving alcohol!)

All I have to say is: It better be spelled that way because of the nickname of some guy named Phil.

Adolf Hitler Captured By Authorities

Get your keyboards ready to sign some Internet petitions! The parents of everyone’s favorite New Jersey kid — one Adolf Hitler Campbell — had their three little tykes taken away by New Jersey Youth and Family Services.

Taken away were the little dictator, who’s three, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, who’s 1, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, who will turn 1 in April. Yes, if you’re wondering, little Honszlynn Hinler is named after Himmler, the head of the SS. Clearly, the parents did a lot of research before writing down their kid’s name.

[Holland Township, N.J. Police Chief David] Van Gilson said he didn’t know why the children were taken or who had custody. He said his department received no reports of abuse or negligence. [...] “Whatever children were at the home were taken,” the chief said.

Though naming your kid Adolf Hitler might be construed as child abuse, there’s no word on what, exactly, these parents did to warrant removing the child. They did whore for attention at a ShopRite in New Jersey, but who among us hasn’t attempted to put a murderous dictator’s name on a cake before? I remember my first “Happy Birthday Pol Pot!” cake.

The Express-Times has been your number one source for Adolf Hitler Campbell news; the paper broke the scandal (it’s called “Watergate II,” I believe). This was my favorite part of today’s story:

Heath Campbell, who’s previously said he picked the names to honor German ancestry and because they are unique, has reported receiving threats after the story was published.

Well, they certainly are unique. But, I mean, he coulda just gone the easy route and spelled a normal name incorrectly. That way the kid could even get a job on TV (just ask Jennaphr Frederick). I don’t think Adolf Hitler will be getting to report live from a kindergarden anytime soon, you know.

New Jersey Division of Youth and Family Services removes Adolf Hitler Campbell, sisters from parents’ home [Express-Times]

Subject Line Of The Week

Somebody, please, return this guy’s notebook: He had a bunch of notes on how to spell common words in there.

Writer looses Notebook [Craigslist]

DCCC Threatening Emailer Is — Surprise! — An Idiot

As you’ve probably heard, Delaware County Community College has been closed for the past several days due to a threatening email received by teachers and staff members.

All five campuses (campi?) will reopen today with extra security, even though police have not found the source of these emails. The full text of the email was released yesterday. It was signed by “J Feathers,” which means it was sent by a bird or something. Here’s the email via CBS 3. No, it wasn’t sent by Alycia Lane. Everything below is [sic], of course:

jus so u kno i’m sick of everything, i can’t stand my life anymore. i’m sick of ppl stressing me out at that school, so i’m jus letting u know in case that i’m going to get 2 weapons from a friend n i’m goin to kill everyone at this damn school. i’m so frustrated, jus so anyone wants to kno when this coming Monday or tuesday. take my notice seriously, cause i’m giving 1 Chance of survival. It wilbe done at exton and downingtown camp.”

Yeesh. I’m glad the police investigated this email, but shouldn’t someone be investigating Delco Community College’s English department as well?

Security Increased As Classes Resume At DCCC [CBS 3]

It’s Pronounced Fugg-A-Tives

Even if the headline had correct spelling, I think I’d still be confused.

Bucks County Fugatives Go Online [NBC 10]

Chat™: Cooking Butter With Pauline Paula Deel Dean Somebody

Oh snap! It’s Teresa Time!

anonymous reader: hey, whatever happened to teresa masterson’s diet?

pwddmac: hm. i dunno. she does have a new blog entry up. it’s about meeting chef paula deel.
pwddmac: looks like she has about as much of a followthrough as i do on dieting.
reader: Paula Deen?
pwddmac: paula dean? that’s the name of that woman, right?
reader: it’s Paula Deen!
pwddmac: i keep wanting to write “pauline kael.” god, i am such a nerd.
reader: oh my god!
reader: yes you are!
pwddmac: i don’t watch food network. who is this woman?
reader: you don’t like cooking, so you have no need to know who paula deen is
reader: she’s a jolly southern lady who cooks with pounds and pounds of butter.
pwddmac: so, really good for TM’s diet?
reader: oh, absolutely.
pwddmac: i liked the part where she teresa revealed deen learned how to deep-fry butter
pwddmac: i was wondering how to make butter less healthy.
reader: i’m sure paula could teach you how to, ha
reader: actually, paula’s sons are on the food network now too
reader: shut up - we watch a lot of crap television during the day on the weekends
pwddmac: yeah, i’m doing more important things like trying to win a third college world series in four seasons in mvp 06.
reader: but still, maybe more entertaining than “ham on the road” or whatever their show is called.
pwddmac: their show is called “ham on the road”? is it like an antiques roadshow for food?
reader: it’s as ridiculous as it sounds.
reader: can we talk about the lead for a sec?
reader: “You have got to be doing something extraordinary if you are a 59-year-old mom, who spends most of your time in the kitchen, and men and women in their 20s and 30s are bragging to their friends about meeting you. I’m not talking about Cher.”
reader: first off, it’s a little pretentious.
reader: secondly, how does cher fit in?
reader: i’m confused.
pwddmac: i don’t know if it’s pretentious. it’s just a little overstated. i don’t know how great paula deel could be unless unless she cooks food for refugees in darfur or something.
pwddmac: now, the headline “the deen of women,” that’s a little pretentious.
reader: paula deen!
reader: paula deen!
pwddmac: whatever. i bet sher can’t spell her name correctly, either.
pwddmac: can we talk about the closing line?
pwddmac: Teresa Masterson, 9/21/06: “We do too, Paula. We do too.” Daniel “Dan” McQuade, 12/9/02: “Me, too, coach. Me, too.”
reader: anyway, this blog is completely pointless
pwddmac: this blog entry? or all of her blogs?
pwddmac: or all blogs in general?
pwddmac: please say that one.
reader: if i say “all blogs in general” then it’s a sad statement about what i read while i’m supposed to be doing my job now, isn’t it?
reader: i just mean - the only thing we learn in this blog is that paula deen is a good hugger
pwddmac: just like we learned about al roker, actually.
reader: right. i’m mildly concerned about her and the hugging.
reader: did she hug that guy who made her work in his kitchen?
reader: please look at the slideshow
pwddmac: there really are a lot of hugs.
reader: hugs can be awkward
reader: especially when they are with STRANGERS
pwddmac: who you’re interviewing
reader: oh please. this is not an interview.
reader: it’s a description of butter and hugs
reader: with a little bit of scatalogical humor thrown in. nice!
reader: i have a new favorite line: “… riddled with chuckles.”
pwddmac: riddle me this, paula deen!
pwddmac: did i get her name right this time?
reader: yes! well done.

Blog: True Grits — A Conversation With Paula Deen [NBC 10]
Archives: Teresa Masterson