City To Fool Motorists Into Hitting Brakes

Um, so here’s a good idea: Let’s put plastic on the ground that makes it look like there’s something in the street. That way, drivers will swerve and crash into a parked car full of orphans, killing 7 slow down, have a good chuckle and make the roadways a little safer.

That’s the plan of a new program called DriveCare Philly, which attempts to make people slow down with the use of these “high-tech” devices. Take, for instance, Bluegrass Road in the Great Northeast (if you must know, it’s near my parents’ house). The speed limit is 25, and yet people — get this! — drive much faster than 25 down that road.

And these fake 3D bumps and a few other things are going to solve that problem, hallelujah. Then we can move on to the inevitable rear-end crashes these plastic things cause, knowing Philadelphians.

3D Images Part of City’s Effort to Slow Down Drivers [KYW 1060]

My Lovely Speedy Humps

Okay, can somebody tell me if I’m going absolutely nuts here, but I have never, ever, ever heard speed bumps described this way:

Warminster supervisors Tuesday night demonstrated their commitment to traffic safety by approving $12,000 for new speed humps as part of a traffic calming initiative. [...] “By voting to not fund these speed humps, you’re saying (this board) is not going to support traffic safety,” [some dude] told fellow supervisors in trying to persuade them to vote for the measure.

I mean, I kind of like the idea of “speed humps” since it sounds dirtier, but… oh, here we go, Wikipedia explains it all. Apparently, they are lower than speed bumps. TMYK.

Anyway, ha ha, that dude said humps.

Speed humps approved [The Intelligencer]