Ron Paul Has ‘Em Right Where He Wants

Although his website says there are now only two contenders left in the presidential race, it appears noted Internet meme Ron Paul is dropping out of the presidential race.

Despite already saying he was dropping out of the race last month, In a message to his “supporters” last night Paul essentially conceded he wasn’t going to win the presidency in a YouTube video.

Paul most likely decided to drop out not because John McCain has mathematically clinched the nomination, but because his supporters do not, in a sense, “exist.” If you’ve been following this blog for the past few months, you may have known I have been the subject of death threats, complaints to my bosses (asking me to be fired) and other forms of awesome Internet hatred. These all pretty much came from Ron Paul supporters. But after a spam attack took down the website, I posted a link to this Onion story about Paul. It got zero comments.

One doesn’t need to be a gynecologist to realize the truth: The new spam filters are catching all the Ron Paul supporters (correctly) as bots designed to post spam. At this point, I’m kind of confused, wondering if Ron Paul himself actually exists. Anyway, even though he’s dropped out, he most certainly has a shot at winning the convention after his supporting cast of mind-controlling robots turn all the superdelegates into Ron Paul supporters. At the Democratic convention. Ohh, what a story that will be!

Alycia Lane Slowing Internet To Crawl

I’ve had to up some of the comment settings due to the amount of Alycia Lane spam I’m getting. No, really. Alycia Lane spam!

To be exact: “alycia lane free bikini pix,” the links don’t lead anywhere, oddly enough. If you comment and it doesn’t get posted I’ll try to approve it later in the day. You can email me if there’s some sort of pressing “OMG I want to get really angry about that news anchor!” comment, or you can continue searching the Internet like there’s no tomorrow for Alycia Lane news.

More to come later; all this spam is slowing down my ability to post. If this whole “World Wide Web” thing finally breaks down because of her arrest, I am not going to be happy. Who knew spam came from people other than Ron Paul?

Finally, Spammers Find An Effective Way To Get Me To Buy Their Products

To note: I’m pretty sure Mike Tyson has pawned all his Rolex watches by now.

OMG Best Spam Mail Ever!

Blogicized: Do it, Rockapella!

• You knew somebody had to make a local version of it: Where in the world is (beat) Matt O’Donnell? [TinaPoPo]

• Ladies and gentlemen, the most horrifing spam ever. (It’s possibly not safe for work, if you work for William Devlin.) [Starting a Landslide in My Ego]

• A quote from this entry: “Some of you may recall that I wrote a few posts a while back with Cat Shit Coffee as their titles… As I’m sure you suspected, [Cat Shit Coffee] all revoves around Bob Casey.” [Rowhouse Logic]

• Sugar gliders? Oh, just wait until I respond with some red panda photos in the next few days. [The Trouble With Spikol]