Since today is the election, I guess this is the last day I can run this ad, which I finally remembered to upload. As you can see, Chris Myers, famous astronaut, is totally a bad choice for New Jersey.
• Several commenters on this thread have proposed John Kruk as the Phillies’ new manager. It’s official: Beerleaguer has gotten too popular. Then again, who could resist the dreamy Jason Weitzel? [Beerleaguer]
• Yesterday, the Space Shuttle Atlantis returned to earth very smoothly. Today, an astronaut fainted at a press conference. (The astronaut is okay.) It was not the one from Philadelphia, though. Hooray! [AP/CNN.com]
• The Bulletinon the Smoking Ban: “The anti-smoking Nazis have passed their first Nuremberg law, and more will follow.” Because if you can’t compare genocidal facism to a not being able to light up in a bar, what can you compare it to? [Bulletin]
• The Inquirer’s Marc Narducci asks if Eagles fans are overrated because he saw a few people leaving the game early Sunday. As a commenter pointed out, the Eagles certainly left the game before any of their fans did. And who the hell is Marc Narducci (or anyone, really) able to judge who is a “true” fan or not? That being said, Eagles fans did get way too many votes in the most recent AP poll. [Eye on the Eagles]
• Your three new City Councilpeople come November, ladies and gentlemen: Carol Campbell, William Greenlee and Daniel Savage. How many people saw that list and said, “Wait. The writer of Savage Love is running for City Council?” [AP/Philly.com]
• Jevon Kearse, injured near the end of the Eagles’ loss to the Giants yesterday, is out for the year with a knee injury. Gee, yesterday’s game just keeps getting better and better. Tomorrow, the team’s going to announce that anthrax was accidentally released at the game and everyone needs to get tested. [Inquirer]
• Wireless Philadelphia has a pricetag! $21.95 a month. (The “Digital Inclusion” — read: poor — rate is $9.95.) The service hasn’t even started yet, and the rates have already gone up from the $20/month promoted when the city signed the deal. Capitalism sure is a hideous bitch goddess. [Civil Defense]
• In New Jersey, the state will no longer pick up deer carcasses, which means driving in Jersey just got about a million times more awesome. [AP/Camden Courier Post]
• Just after Chris Ferguson, the astronaut reared in Northeast Philly, leaves the space station, there’s a toxic spill. Coincidence? Yeah, most certainly. [Reuters/CNN.com]
• John Perzel has proposed a huge increase in police officers all over the state, including 1,300 new cops in Philly alone. Perzel: “We’re here today to send a clear message to the drug-dealing thugs, the illegal gun-pushers, and all those responsible for terrorizing our neighborhoods and communities - your days are numbered.” Drug-dealing thugs had a mixed reaction to the news. [Inquirer]
• Herb Denenberg answers the tough questions: “Question: Can an insurance company refuse to insure my dog?” [The Evening Bulletin]
Ferguson (at right) and the rest of the astronauts took two days to get from Earth to the International Space Station. The AP reported that he had a wide grin as he was given a tour of the ISS. Hurrah!
The crew is on schedule for its very important mission: Installing solar panels on the space station. If you’re scoring at home, that means we can use solar energy reliably, but only if we travel two days into space first. Hey, it’s a start.
Today was the latest fuel sensor to delay the mission, and NASA said they’ll likely try again tomorrow. But, really, don’t expect the shuttle to launch tomorrow, either: It’s clear that space doesn’t want a Northeast Philadelphian, and is doing everything it can to stop it. Alas.
• Allen Iverson’s mom has gone an bought herself a basketball team! The Richmond Iversons Warriors will play in the ABA, a small pro league where anyone with $20,000 and a dream can buy a team. Look for her at courtside, holding up a “THAT’S MY TEAM!” sign. [AP/FOX Sports]
• Appearing on FOX News Sunday, Delaware Senator Joe Biden refuted the notion that he’s too Northern (I guess) to run for President. How so? To wit: “You don’t know my state. My state was a slave state. My state is a border state. My state has the eighth-largest black population in the country. My state is anything from a Northeast liberal state.” Tune into the Sunday talk shows next week, when Biden notes all the lynchings the state’s had. [Wonkette]
• Pagans — the, uh, loosely affiliated religious groups, not the motorcycle gang — recently held a conference in Fort Washington. How wild was it? As the Northeast Times notes, “They even wore T-shirts, tank tops, shorts, skirts, sneakers and sandals. And some had baseball caps, too.” [NET]
• It’s going to be a little longer before Northeast Philadelphian and astronaut goes into space, as the shuttle launch has been delayed. [AP/Yahoo!]
