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Finally, A Way To Track Andy Reid’s Weight

011309reidyears.jpg Hey, sports fans! I know what you all really want to see, and that’s a slideshow of Andy Reid through the years. Oh, man, there’s Reid and his wife at a 76ers game in 2001! Who could forget that time? And a munch younger Reid in 2001! And…

Holy God, this thing is thirty photos! I guess I’m going to have to go through and pick out the highlights, this slideshow is so important. Well, let’s see: Actually, I remember photo number four, or at least I remember when the Eagles finally clinched the division for the first time since 1988. (I was there. The girl who gave me the tickets for my birthday is now married. Aww, how nice.)

Photo #7 is our first interesting one so far, because Reid has a funny expression. And, wow, he really still has lost a lot of weight since then, even if he hasn’t kept it all off. Kudos, Andy.

Speaking of weight, here’s Reid eating sundae at training camp (photo #10) in 2002. I really enjoy the caption: “Eagles head coach Andy Reid bites into a ‘Andy Reid’ sundae, and he said a ‘monday & tuesday’ at training camp in 2002.” Are we to assume Reid stood there for two days eating sundaes? I’m pretty sure that’s it. By the way, 33.3 repeating done!

And now I’m nearly halfway in, and here’s Andy Reid coaching the Pro Bowl, which used to be an annual occurrence. Look, Jeff Garcia is in the background! The previous three or four Reid photos before this one were all just him at a press conference. Useful. But think of the pageviews!

Halfway through, and photo #15 is just a drawing of Andy Reid. Ha ha, whoever drew it made him super fat.

Photo #20. Man, is there any expression for Donovan McNabb but “goofy”? I really don’t think so.

Ha, ha, photo #24 isn’t even of Andy, it’s of his son Britt following a guilty plea. Classy, Philly.com. I would have gone with an instructional drawing of how to put pills up your ass, but that’s just me.

Then, after a ton of Reid son photos, we’re back to football at #28, from a preseason game this year. The slideshow didn’t include that photo from the back of the Daily News the year the Eagles went to the Super Bowl, the one I was looking for and expected to see, possibly the only interesting photo of Andy Reid ever. But whatever, at least there were 7 shots of him at press conferences!

Photo #30. I dunno; maybe this expression isn’t goofy? Kinda, still, though. And by the end I think Andy has gained all the weight back, though he definitely looks better now even though he’s older. Come on, Andy, you can do it!

Philly.com Running Out Of Slideshows?

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Hey, no fair! Those are the same things!

Philly.com Slowly Becoming NBC 10

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111208anchors.jpg Sometime during the baseball playoffs, Philly.com started running a little box at the top of the page with a couple links to slideshows. Media companies love slideshows, because they add a page view every time a reader clicks to see the latest hot athlete gallery. As we all know, pageviews are the only thing online media companies care about.

What’s really awesome about this particular slideshow is it’s just that: Local anchors. That’s all. And this caption kind of intrigues me: Is this, like, right after Kerri-Lee Halkett and Kirt Mayland got married?

But at least that photo is kind of interesting. Okay, well, it’s not, but whatever, pretend this is a universe without television, radio or alcohol. Some of the other photos are just the photo of Erin O’Hearn from 6 ABC’s website.

On the plus side, we do learn that Vince DeMentri was nicknamed “The Legend” in his high school yearbook.

Most Important NBC 10 Slideshow Ever

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This, my friends, is what we call “service journalism.”

Foods That Help Fight Gas [NBC 10]

Punch The Celebrity, Win An iPod!

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Ahh, Fox 29 combines the two worst things about media websites: Small giveaways and annoying pointless celebrity slideshows.

Celebrity Birthdays This Week [myfoxphilly]
Thanks, RJ

Slideshow Sideshows

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Nearly every day, NBC 10’s website has a bunch of slideshows about teachers who fuck their kids or celebrities over 40 or something else stupid. I can only assume they’re popular, since the site keeps making new ones every day. (Do they have meetings over whether to do “cute pooches” or “celebrity couples”? I hope so.)

One over the weekend, featured above, had Dawn Timmeny being kissed on the cheek by Bono! Outside (what appears to be) the Inquirer building! Oh my God! Big news!

It is nice to know, however, that the Bono starfucking wasn’t just done by our city’s print media, but by the #1 starfuckers themselves, the TV media. I was getting a little confused there for a while. Phew.

Local Twist — Celebrities Caught Kissing [NBC 10]

Breaking: In West Philadelphia, Born And Raised

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Oh, Will Smith’s from Philadelphia. Hey, did youse know Boyz II Men are from here, too?

Celebrities from Philadelphia [NBC 10]

Lesbian Teacher/Student Sex Scandal!

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Ahh, yes. Whenever I hear “teacher sex charges,” I naturally always want to know: “Well, what celebrities are gay?”

Gym Teacher Charged With Sexual Assault [CBS 3]
In To Be Out: Gay Celebrities [CBS 3]

NBC 10 To Be Nothing But Look-Alike Slideshows By June

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Be sure to click through to find Jimmy Rollins with random bald black guy as well as Shane Victorino with Vin Diesel, who I think looks more like the Phillie Phanatic than Victorino Hop Devil does.

Celebrity Look-Alike Phillies [NBC 10]
Yesterday: Questions Derived From NBC 10 Feature

NBC 10’s Slideshows Never Fail To Educate, Impress

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Most celebrity marriages ever [NBC 10]