Paine’s World Benefit

A shoutout to Philebrity and the Paine’s World benefit for Paine’s Park, the new skateboarding park planned for along the Schuylkill. While we’re always going to be a little sad LOVE Park isn’t the mecca it once was, we’ll take a real live skatepark as a consolation prize.

The YMD does the music in the above video, and is also playing the party ($22 at the door, 21+, buses running from/to Center City).

Also worth noting: Phillyist Framed, the photoshow, opening party tonight.

A LOVE Park You Can Skateboard On, Still

Speaking of John Street, there’s a nice little screw you to him in the upcoming Tony Hawk’s Proving Ground, the 79th (I think) installment in the skateboarding video game series. And by “a nice little screw you,” I mean “a completely rendered version of the new LOVE Park that can be skateboarded on.”

See, suburban white kids? You can have you revenge on John Street after all. Well, you know, kinda. Hey, if you can’t do it in real life, then do it in a video game. I guess that works for Grand Theft Auto, too.

Tony Hawk 9: Love Park?! [Planet Tony Hawk]

Anti-Crime Activist Reveals City’s Number One Problem: Suburban White Kids Sans Kleenex

An email passed along from “anti-crime activist” Greg Bucceroni (emphasis mine, you can fill in the blanks with your [sic]s):

Subject: Crime Alert Vietnam Memorial Vandalized over weekend Thousands of $$$ in Damage.

Please be advised that our group will be working with local officials and the members of the Vietnam Memorial group regarding recent series of vandalism to the Vietnam Memorial located at Front @ Spruce Street (Phila) causing thousands of dollars in property damage by skate boarding thugs that plague that area of the city over the weekend. Our group will also coordinate with City Council on a Bill the would prohibit skate boarding no skate boarding zones in areas of the city that are plagued by skate boarding related crime.

With all of the other types of crime that currently plague our fine city we the citizens of Philadelphia do not need some snot nosed white kids (many whom do not reside in the city limits) deficating on our fine Men and Women of our Armed Services whom made the altimate sacrafice in honor of our great country.

Respectfully
Greg Bucceroni
Anti Crime Activist

Ahh. White teenaged suburban skateboarders, this is probably the only time in your life you’ll get to claim you’ve been discriminated against, so use the opportunity wisely.

Hey, remember when there was that rumor the X Games were going to be in Philadelphia permanently? Anybody remember why that didn’t happen?

Leftovers: ‘Twins’ Residual Checks Not Enough For Danny DeVito

• Danny DeVito will be joining the cast of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, which begins again on FX Thursday. Hollywood insiders are confident that DeVito can speed up the process of the show’s cancellation. [Daily News]

• Here’s what people did in the 1940s down the shore: “It was the height of World War II. [Al] Cunard remembers military patrols walking up and down the beaches, having to shutter the cottage’s windows in air-raid drills, even keeping a bucket of kerosene handy to wash the tarry oil from feet sullied by fuel oil that washed ashore from ships sunk by German U-boats.” Thank you, Lord, for letting my shore trips be a bit more fun. [Camden Courier-Post]

• Skateboarding is probably the only time white suburban kids feel some Michael Smerconish-approved profiling. Be very afraid, shaggy-haired teens with boards. [Daily News]

• Press release of the day: Sherman He[l]msley to attend Altoona Curve game on Wednesday, June 28. [Altoona Curve]

• Lines of the day, courtesy of George Mallet’s blog about horses: “I have a tendency to hit the saddle harder than I should when I’m posting,” and “Plus, it is always a thrill to ride a retired athlete who competed in the sport of kings.” [George's Horse Blog]

• Today’s afternoon activity is obsessively checking the Phillies box score. Down 6-0 after six — it was scoreless through 5 1/2, of course — the Phillies tied it in the ninth on a solo shot by Chase Utley. First homer rookie sensation Jon Papelbon’s allowed all year. Now let’s cross our fingers… [Yahoo! Sports]

Quickies: Get off my lawn!

• The Inquirer goes all Hey, you kids, get off my lawn! Oh, and skateboarding is “antisocial behavior.” And newspapers wonder why nobody under the age of 21 reads. [Inky]

• Sorry, Ben: Franklin Field is too “narrow” to host Olympic track and field. That track has nine lanes. How much bigger could it be? [Bucks County Courier Times]

• Drugs in the water have turned male bass into female bass in the Potomac. See, that transgender teacher in South Jersey didn’t need to get a sex change operation — she just needed to go for a swim in the Schuylkill. [Inky]

• Metro interviews an author with a big Internet following, and runs the following quote: “I was like, ‘Holy f-king sh-t!’” You know, if you’re going to censor his quote like that you might as just well run the fucking curse words. [Metro]