Hitler Birthday Cakes Must Be Self-Prepared

That little angel at right is a little boy from Warren County, N.J. Sadly, this little boy can’t get a birthday cake personalized with his name on it.

Why? Oh, yes, because his name is Adolf Hitler. The ShopRite in Greenwich Township isn’t going to put “Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler” on a cake.

The family did not want to write their own inscription on the cake — which they could have easily done — because that wouldn’t be exploiting their child to get attention to their laughably horrible cause. “ShopRite can’t even make a cake for a 3-year-old,” said Deborah Campbell, the 25-year-old mom of little ol’ Adolf.

What’s really great are the names of all the children:

JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell and Adolf Hitler Campbell.

It’s amazing that the child with the most normal name out of these three is the one named Adolf Hitler. Of course, I really do think “Aryan Nation” is a better name than “JoyceLynn.” But, really, who expected these parents to have taste?

A New Groundbreaking Series

Oh, thank you, Public Record, for this week’s cover story: The “first in a series” about what is cheaper: The Italian Market or ShopRite. (Spoiler alert: It’s the Italian Market!) Also commended: The use of an exclamation point in a headline on the front page.