Mike Gravel Wins Shadow Debate

I was all excited for the Democratic Presidential Debate at Drexel last night because we’d get to see the wacky antics of Mike Gravel, the former Alaskan senator (he left the Senate in 1981) who is totally awesome and makes fun of all the other candidates.

Unfortunately, Gravel was banned from the debate because he’s polling somewhere south of negative 18 percent. A supporter offered MSNBC $1 million to add Gravel to the debate, knowing he’d never have to pay it. Oddly enough, you’d think NBC would be itching for any income it could get.

So Gravel held his own debate at World Cafe Live by himself and won it, too. His communications director said if Gravel is kicked out, so should two other losers.

“Mike Gravel is tied with Joe Biden and Chris Dodd in some polls and is higher in others,” David Eisenback said. “If it excludes Gravel, it should also exclude Senators Biden and Dodd.”

Meanwhile, Chris Dodd wants to put us on the road to legal weed, just like Gravel and Kucinich. Dennis Kucinich is suddenly a serious candidate; that’s totally awesome. Well, the serious candidate who sees UFOs.