Sex! Sex! Sex! Now That I Have Your Attention: Virginity.

Every once in a while I open the paper and see a story I know I will be tackling later in the day. Even before I’ve read it, I know what the jokes are going to be. I know what I’m going to say, I know how people are going to react, I know people will be sending me links to the article, etc.

How do I do this? Easy: I can travel through time — it’s the only way I can survive this job. Okay, okay, I can’t time travel yet. But I do know what’s going to happen when I read a headline that says, “Why I remain a virgin.” And it’s even better when the article isn’t in the Bulletin and is actually in the Inquirer and given a prominent place on the front page of Philly.com.

I’m sorry you’ve had to waste your time reading stupid comments like “That slut needs to be BANGED!” on the Philly.com comments, but, hey, masterpieces take time. (And this blog entry took time, too.) Down below, some virgin-y goodness. For added effect, I’ll be having sex as I write this post.

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