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Sep
22
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 If you’ve noticed, everyone seems to be sick (with bad colds) quite early this year. Or maybe that’s just me. But a local doctor tells KYW 1060 the answer: It’s all SEPTA’s fault.
Mass transit ridership is up because gas is not only $50 a gallon but nobody has any money anymore, having been laid off by Lehman Brothers or something. Well, Dr. Kathleen Squires says blame SEPTA — or, rather, the number of people on SEPTA — for the upcoming epidemic of the flu this winter:
“Any time that people are in crowded conditions and in close contact there is always a chance to spread colds viruses and influenza.”
The good news she says is that simple hand washing and getting a flu shot can help cut your risk significantly since this year’s vaccine is different and covers three new strains of the virus. What if you just keep your cold weather gloves on while riding mass transit?
“I wouldn’t necessarily encourage that we all go around wearing gloves, but remember that if you cough into the glove and then touch a surface, whatever is on the glove can be transmitted to that surface.”
Oh, just wait ’til the media hops on the “SEPTA flu” bandwagon in a few months. It’ll be great.
Local Dr. Links Flu Cases to Crowdedness on Mass Transit [KYW 1060]
Photo by qilin, Creative Commons license
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dmac | 1:56 PM | 0 Comments
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Sep
18
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In a post about unsafe taxi drivers, legendary Philadelphia newsman Larry Kane lets this little gem slip:
I occasionally take a cab, although I prefer rail lines and city buses.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Larry Kane rides the bus? Good for him, I guess, but, um, really? I don’t think Ringo rides the bus.
Anyway, with this new information I’ve devised a new ad campaign for SEPTA that is sure to be a hit.
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dmac | 9:51 AM | 3 Comments
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Sep
17
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 Ruh roh. Another person was attacked on a SEPTA concourse yesterday, which means we’re in for another bit of hand-wringing from the media (unless the opinion settles on the idea the guy had it coming):
A West Philadelphia man is in critical condition this morning after being attacked by an unidentified assailant on a SEPTA concourse in Center City yesterday afternoon, police said.
No cameras captured images of the brutal beating which occurred about 3:25 p.m. on a stairway at 12th and Market Streets.
Witnesses said an older man stomped the victim, 23, numerous times in the head. Police are uncertain what prompted the beating. The attacker is described as black, with a scruffy beard and close-cropped hair, lanky, about 6-foot-2 and 170 pounds. He was wearing an oversized white T-shirt, dark capri-style jeans and tan Timberland boots.
“Black dude in an oversized white t-shirt” certainly narrows it down a bit, though that is a pretty thorough description. But capri-style jeans? This man should already have been taken off the street by the fashion police.
Brutal beating on SEPTA concourse leaves man critical [Inquirer]
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dmac | 9:33 AM | 7 Comments
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Sep
9
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Around eight years ago, a homeless man from Nebraska went up to the Liberty Bell and hit it with a hammer. (This was before 9/11. Now, he’d be shot on site for attempting to forget.) We all had a good laugh at that guy, but here’s another hammer attack that’s not quite as fun: This one dude on the subway attacked another dude on the Broad Street Subway.
The attacker had a small child with him; cops say after talking to the child, he reached into his bag, pulled out a “double-claw hammer” and hit some sleeping dude with it. The attack spilled out onto the Fairmount platform, but the dude who was just minding his own business stayed on the subway and rode to Temple Hospital. This is faster than waiting for an ambulance, and since this happened midnight on Thursday, the Fairmount stop was certainly closed early like it always is. He escaped serious injury.
The Daily News and the police seem mostly concerned nobody random on the train stopped to help take down the “psycho” with the hammer. I guess if somebody had stopped the dude on the subway there’d be less work for them to do? The Daily News, I mean.
Through it all, disgusted investigators said, at least 10 passengers stood by and did nothing as the random attack moved from the train to the platform, when the hammer-wielding maniac tried to push his victim down onto the train tracks.
When the beating was finished and the suspect fled with the little boy, the victim staggered back onto the train, bloodied, confused and alone, said Detective Kenneth Roach, of Central Detectives.
And even then, no one tried to help him. “Somebody should have helped this guy,” Roach said. “I understand the [other] guy had a hammer, but they outnumbered him at least 10 to one.”
Aww, it’s our own little Kitty Genovese story! Only, you know, without a dead white woman to further people’s outrage.
So, you know, next time a dude with a hammer attacks somebody on the subway and you’re there, you can jump on his back and try to stop him. In the meantime, feel free to complain about the subway passengers on the Philly.com comments with the dude who wrote this, “what a bunch of pussies on that train, every one of you are cowards. and you should all throw your self in front of the next train you are near.” Oh, and this other dude calls for the “Hell’s Angels,” somehow confusing ‘em with these guys.
Psycho hammers subway passenger [Daily News]
Man Attacked by Hammer-Weilding [sic] Man on Subway [KYW 1060]
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dmac | 8:44 AM | 8 Comments
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Aug
14
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How about that: SEPTA will be rolling out more buses and late-night regional rail trains. Hot dog! Now we can go out and party in Torresdale and come back to Center City at night!
As far as SEPTA goes, the announcement comes with the usual aplomb:
After lowering riders’ expectations for years, SEPTA officials acknowledged the challenges they face in offering more to passengers. “Certainly, there is a risk,” said Pat Nowakowski, assistant general manager for operations. “We will create expectations, and we have to work to make sure we meet them.”
You think that sounds weird, but I’m pretty sure that SEPTA meeting riders’ expectations is a sign of the apocalypse. In that case, it is a bit of a risk.
SEPTA to offer more buses, late-night trains [Inquirer]
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dmac | 3:42 PM | 1 Comment
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Aug
5
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An enterprising Philadelphian sent an email to my boss late last week remarking on a trip to Toronto. It seems in the city is known for more than just being clean; it also has electric trolleys. SEPTA, meanwhile, recently purchased 400 new hybrid buses, which run on diesel fuel.
Our traveler went upon himself to inform Philadelphians of this situation in the best way possible (click to enlarge):
The text reads:
SEPTA’s new “hybrid” buses burn diesel fuel. Thousands of gallons, each and every day.
If we cared, we would buy new clean zero-emissions electric trolley cars, instead.
But we don’t care. And you can’t make us.
We’re SEPTA. Third-rate in every way.
Mocking SEPTA is kind of an official Philadelphia Will Do pastime, and I have to say this is simply a fantastic effort — especially the placement of the ad. Five stars.
Want to make your own fun? Here’s the flier as a .pdf. But you better print it out on recycled paper!!
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dmac | 7:49 AM | 12 Comments
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Jun
13
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Alert Philadelphia:
According to the Fraternal Order of Transit Police, SEPTA Transit Police Officer are officially on strike as of 3:15 PM this afternoon. The work stoppage centers on pay, benefit and contract issues. SEPTA reports that measures are in place to continue normal operations during the work stoppage including the use of SEPTA Police Commanders, Philadelphia Police and private security to ensure the safety of riders.
As additional information becomes available it will be forwarded via Alert Philadelphia.
I don’t think this is cause for immediate alarm, but just in case everybody panic.
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dmac | 4:02 PM | 1 Comment
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May
20
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Meet Eileen Button, columnist for the Davison Flagstaff Flint Journal Clio Messenger. I am guessing those are three separate papers, but who knows. Ms. Button recently took a trip to Philadelphia, and there she found God. Where, you say?
No, not the basilica or the Liberty Bell or Lincoln Financial Field. Not even at my place! Not, she found God on SEPTA. And he was… mouth-watering.
Recently, I found God as I rode the train from Center City Philadelphia to the city’s airport. A young man boarded the train and took the seat in front of me. Although it was early morning, he smelled wonderfully like lunch in an ethnic restaurant - spicy, garlicky with a strong dose of Hungarian paprika.
Wikipedia says “paprika” comes from the Hungarian “paprika,” so I did learn something here, albeit indirectly. I also now know that SEPTA will soon have an ad campaign quoting this column, encouraging riders to “Get there with God!”
Also: When people who smell sit near me on SEPTA, I blame the Devil.
He immediately began his morning routine as he rubbed oil into his hands and began styling his thick, curly black hair. I stared, mesmerized by his oblivious primping, and noticed how his hair fell onto the brown corduroy collar of his barn coat and framed his almost-black eyes and unshaven face.
I thought it was lovely - and that’s where God entered in. Tears filled my eyes when I realized that God might watch us with that much curiosity, ardor and utter appreciation.
The column is about finding God in ordinary places. Fair enough. But: When I see people crying on SEPTA, I usually don’t think that’s God’s doing. Now I know.
And, yes, that random link to centercityphila.org was in the original piece.
God can be found in the most unusual places, says Flint Journal columnist Eileen Button [mlive.com]
Thanks, RJ
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dmac | 5:20 PM | 3 Comments
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May
19
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And here’s something that will make SEPTA even more exciting!
The police officers employed by Philadelphia’s main transit agency are threatening to strike after working more than two years without a contract. Talks are scheduled Thursday between the Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority and the Fraternal Order of Transit Police, along with a state mediator.
SEPTA does not expect a strike, but “we would provide adequate security for our riders” should it happen, said agency spokesman Richard Maloney. City police and private security guards would be used, SEPTA officials said.
Eh, we’ll all be okay, I think. Those SEPTA cops only make 30 grand a year starting salary — what are they, bloggers? Okay, okay.
Transit Police Labor Dispute Could Lead To Strike [AP/NBC 10]
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dmac | 12:06 PM | 2 Comments
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