HTML Radio Buttons Of Wackiness!

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk! The above wacky poll is brought to you by Philly.com. Ho, ho, look at all those comedic choices. Personally, I was thinking of an Atlasphere. Man, that’s almost as wacky as a Segway!

FBI chases Pa.’s ‘Running Man’ Bandit [Inquirer]
Thanks, Master Fister

Cops Make Nicely-Timed Arrest

On Friday, the Philadelphia Police began a trial run of four Segways that police officers would use to, uhm, roll the beat.

And what do you know! The same exact day, Segway officers nabbed a man allegedly calling in bomb threats to City Hall at 15th and Market Streets. And, get this: It was apparently the guy with one leg who panhandles near the clothespin!

I say the Segway trials are already a success. Because if there’s one kind of criminal the cops need Segways to catch, it’s a one-legged man.

City officers to try patrolling on Segway scooters [Inquirer]
Segway Officers Nab One-Legged City Hall Bomb Threat Suspect [NBC 10]

Leftovers: Puff, Puff, Pass

• As you probably know, Mayor Street has signed the smoking ban, but enforcement won’t go into effect until an agreed-upon date. Street’s suggestion? Sure to be sometime after the mayoral election. [KYW 1060]

• The forum for residents to discuss issues regarding casinos was last night, and, uh, it’s official: Residents hate casinos. Huzzah! [Philly IMC]

• Segway, Inc., is recalling both of the scooters sold since the company’s inception, due to problems that could make a rider fall off. It’s okay, even with the upgraded software, President Bush still would have fallen off. [AP/PhillyBurbs.com]

• Keith Primeau has retired from the National Hockey League due to a series of concussions. You may remember him from his game-winner in the fifth overtime against the Penguins back in 2000. Or, rather, you may remember hearing about that, since you were probably asleep during it. [Inquirer]

Enjoy your Segway, Ashish

Look, buddy, if we want to know about alternative modes of transportation, we’ll ask about alternative modes of transportation. In the meantime, ATFQ!

U.S. Editions [Metro]