Blogicized: Water, Water Everywhere

• Turns out that waterless urinals in a top-secret local building that may or may not be in University City North Philly haven’t killed anyone. And they won the building an award. But, y’know, we gotta put useless pipes in the Comcast Center. In case. [Changing Skyline]

• Sam Alito will be here on July 4 to celebrate freedom. Word on the street is they’ll be using the Rick Santorum impersonator to impersonate Sam Alito, too. [All Spin Zone]

• We also hear that JGT will be celebrating the end of Body Worlds by hosting a quizzo at the Planetarium and then shedding his skin and getting in some weird pose. [Johnny Goodtimes]

• Liz Spikol introduces us to the Medication Debate Shuffle, which will soon be tearing up the clubs. [The Trouble With Spikol]

Blogicized: Whatamaneuver!

• I can only assume that these juveniles attacking Drexel kids with 2×4s are the sons and daughters of Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Hoooooooooo! [Livejournal Philadelphia]

• Phillies fan and Supreme Court Justice Sam Alito hired a former top aid to John Ashcroft to clerk for him. That’s like PW hiring John Updike to key in movie times. [Delaware Watch]

• Apparently Ed Snider said last night that he should move the 76ers to a town that appreciates them and loves the game of basketball. Eventually, with all the movement, all the NBA teams will have nonsensical nicknames: Utah Jazz, Los Angeles Lakers, Kansas City Sixers, Toronto Heat, Boston Bobcats, Philadelphia Celtics, Miami Trail Blazers, &c. [The 700 Level]

• The other day, I noted I love when Will Bunch makes fun of his paper’s own writers. Today, he’s apologizes: “[W]e went a tad too far in bashing [Christine Flowers] the other day, even if she was wrong… sorry, Christine.” Ooooooh, someone got in trouuuuuuble! [Attytood]

Your moment of daily ‘Metro’ zen

Yep. All those senators asking questions last month pretty much just kept rephrasing the question “Are you a stand-up guy?”

Metro Philly

Sam Alito, Phillies fan

Ahh, I know that some of you must be bummed today as Sam Alito was confirmed for the Supreme Court. Yeah, yeah, he’s a conservative and you’re liberal, yadda yadda abortion presidential power blah blah blah. (I know you think I’m neglecting my readers who may come from a conservative standpoint, thinking they’d be celebrating Alito’s confirmation. Perhaps. But evidence shows that today conservatives — at least on conservablog The Corner — are complaining about the Oscar nominations. Strange world.)

But I digress. I, for one, celebrate this man’s nomination. Uhm, hello, he’s from the Philly area? We always support our own. I know, I know, maybe he doesn’t really jive with all my values — and he doesn’t — but that’s okay.

You see, Sam Alito is a Phillies fan. And what do the Phillies do? They disappoint you over and over and over again. I mean, Alito even got former Phillies pitcher (and senator) Jim Bunning’s autograph. And Bunning was on the 1964 team, which had the biggest collapse in sports history. Sam Alito may very well be the combination of Gene Mauch, Mitch Williams, Danny Tartabull and Randy Ready all in one.

As such, I expect conservative Sam Alito fans to feel just like Phils fans year after year after year… the only question is, can Supreme Court decisions be decided by a vote of 86-76 (and just miss the wild card)?

Alito Is Confirmed for Supreme Court in 58-42 Vote [New York Times]
RE: OSCARZZZZZZ [The Corner]
Philadelphia Phillies Team Index [Baseball-Reference.com]

Blogicized: The kids are alright

• Daniel Rubin does the unthinkable: He not only finds a nice SEPTA employee, he finds the nicest SEPTA employee in the world. Are you like me? Did you imagine the nice SEPTA employee as the “This is an eatin’ town, and I’m an eatin’ man” guy in the ads? [Blinq]

• Not content to have the market cornered on kids rocking out, the Paul Green School of Rock is launching a magazine, and fight the good fight against, oh, all that is annoying in the music world. Rock on. [Philebrity]

• Will Bunch has gone through and come up with a totally awesome conspiracy theory regarding Samuel Alito’s wife crying at the Supreme Court hearings the other day. I don’t know what’s more disturbing: that it actually makes a lot of sense, or that, if it’s true, I just want to cheer because it’s so diabolically clever. [Attytood]

• Once again, Eagles fans are the best in the world. [Philly Future]