College-Aged Kids #1 Issue: Income Tax

Praise Zeus! Ron Paul has spoken in the state of Pennsylvania — at the University of Pittsburgh — and he got a packed house to cheer him on.

Alli Katz (Friend of D-Mac™, and also a co-worker) notes on Independence Brawl that the biggest cheer Ron Paul got all night was not for his talk of ending the drug war, but for his talk of ending the income tax.

“I didn’t realize that people your age knew so much about money and inflation,” Paul said. “But it gets the largest applause at college campuses. I figured the first time it happened it was an accident - it was at the University of Southern California. But then at the University of Michigan, they started to burn Federal Reserve notes.”

Damn self-hatin’ druggie college kids!

Still, it’s good to see Ron Paul is in the Keystone State and is somehow still running for president despite McCain clinching the nomination. That kind of panache is going to get my write-in vote come November.

RON PAUL IS STILL ALIVE [Independence Brawl]

RON PAUL RETURNS!

Oh, and you thought I had forgotten about Ron Paul! Puh-leeze. The greatest presidential candidate in American history has been a bit off the radar since dropping out of the race, but he nonetheless will make two appearances in Pennsylvania.

Unfortunately, Paul is staying away from the Philadelphia area, hoping to spread his message of legal prostitution and the gold standard to more rural Pennsylvania: Indiana, Pittsburgh, Gettysburg, Penn State.

But, yes, if you’re wondering, Ron Paul is back and is campaigning for a nomination John McCain has already clinched. Or maybe he’s just spreading the love all over the Keystone State. I want him to answer that 3 a.m. economic phone call!

Ron Paul Has ‘Em Right Where He Wants

Although his website says there are now only two contenders left in the presidential race, it appears noted Internet meme Ron Paul is dropping out of the presidential race.

Despite already saying he was dropping out of the race last month, In a message to his “supporters” last night Paul essentially conceded he wasn’t going to win the presidency in a YouTube video.

Paul most likely decided to drop out not because John McCain has mathematically clinched the nomination, but because his supporters do not, in a sense, “exist.” If you’ve been following this blog for the past few months, you may have known I have been the subject of death threats, complaints to my bosses (asking me to be fired) and other forms of awesome Internet hatred. These all pretty much came from Ron Paul supporters. But after a spam attack took down the website, I posted a link to this Onion story about Paul. It got zero comments.

One doesn’t need to be a gynecologist to realize the truth: The new spam filters are catching all the Ron Paul supporters (correctly) as bots designed to post spam. At this point, I’m kind of confused, wondering if Ron Paul himself actually exists. Anyway, even though he’s dropped out, he most certainly has a shot at winning the convention after his supporting cast of mind-controlling robots turn all the superdelegates into Ron Paul supporters. At the Democratic convention. Ohh, what a story that will be!

Comments Are Back; Ron Paul Returns!

Hey, now that the comments are back, might as well quote The Onion on Ron Paul:

One assassin told pollsters that he is still hopeful that Congressman Ron Paul (R-TX) will be elected in November. However, even if Paul fails to win the presidency, the respondent fully intends to carry out his plans to stab Paul to death in December.

Ha ha! Get ready, Onion, for the inevitable hate mail and online columns denouncing you.

Socialist Workers Party Running A Candidate Just As Eligible As John McCain

The New York Times big scoop today is, basically, something that’s been floating around on stupid Internet messageboards for a while now. (The NYT — and others — for some reason think the Internet is real life, and so Matt Drudge and McCain_SuX_6969 get to influence the media.) Anyway, apparently John McCain was born in the Panama Canal Zone, which makes him ineligible to be president.

As you know, I’m a bit interested in ineligible candidates (aka “criminals”); I paid a bit of attention to Larry West’s ultimately doomed campaign for mayor. And, as such, it’s nice to know I’ll be able to joke about another (Walnuts!) one in the presidential.

But that doesn’t mean he’s the only ineligible candidate! In addition to McCain, the presidential race also has Socialist Workers Party candidate Róger Calero. The SWP candidate visited Temple recently, and PW’s über-talented Cassidy Hartmann talked with him for her MTV political thing.

Calero was born in Nicaragua, though. While the U.S. had invaded and taken the Panama Canal Zone at the time of McCain’s birth (1786), by Calero’s time Uncle Sam was content simply to destabilize these countries in more clandestine ways. And while he is of age to run for president, the Constitution forbids him from actually being elected. He can still get on some states’ ballots, though (but not Pennsylvania, where it is impossible).

One might think Calero could at least have an army of hilarious online followers, but dedication to the Socialist cause is a little lacking these days. (The illegal presidential candidate summed up Temple the way you could sum up pretty much every school: “Temple is generally a liberal school, but not that liberal in the sense of revolutionary politics.”)

But with smaller numbers, it appears the supporters of our fair Socialist candidate are a bit more realistic than fans of a certain other candidate with socialist supporters. Gordon Barnes (at left in photo) brought Calero to Temple, and here’s what he said: “We realize Róger’s not going to win.” Now if only Ron Paul’s supporters could get that. Or, for that matter, John McCain’s.

The Candidate for Change? It’s All Relative. [Think MTV]

Another Day, Another Ron Paul Post

Ron Paul — the silver standard in leadership — is quite popular on the Internet. We all know this. And if you write something mean about Ron Paul, people get really upset in the comments section of your blog. They are affectionately known as “Paultards.” Some of them get legitimately upset about this title.

RJ White runs a blog called The City Desk, which is described on the sidebar as “fictional urbanism.” A post about Ron Paul being uninvited by “Watson University” was spotted by a million Technorati Paul supporters and comments like these were left:

• “Yes I agree, your mother raised a failure…. in you.”
• “I definitely won’t recommend Watson U to my son.”
• “Well, you’ve clearly demonstrated your economic ignorance as well as your poor journalism. Here’s a challenge for you. Let’s see if you can even explain what the gold standard is, what the benefits of it could be, and why it so clearly to you is a joke.”

I do believe Ron Paul has a lot of support in the group that likes to be online 24/7, and the support of a decent amount of people in some places. That being said, if a lot of weird Ron Paul commenters were some sort of fake Internet stupids prank by some group, I wouldn’t be surprised.

Ex-Candidate Ron Paul Dis-invited [The City Desk]

Saying Goodbye To King Ron Paul

I’ve been infatuated with the Ron Paul campaign ever since hundreds of ads for him started popping up on certain Internet forums about how great The Libertarian Nightmare is. There are so many questions to ask about the Ron Paul Internet Phenomenon that there’s really nowhere to begin.

Sadly, last week Ron Paul pretty much dropped out of the presidential election in order to make sure he doesn’t lose his Congressional seat in Texas’ March primary. He’s going to stay in the race, technically, but even he’s realized he has no shot at this point. (Or, ever, but that’s another story.)

It’s not all bad news for Dr. Paul, though. As CBS 3 reported earlier this month, gold prices are booming! Yes, Ron Paul naturally has a lot of money in gold, consarnit, and CBS 3’s Susan Barnett let us know you can sell gold for hundreds of dollars right on Jeweler’s Row. Looks like the good doctor won’t be suffering without a legion of Internet spambots donating ridiculous amounts of money to him.

Goodbye, Ron. We can only hope the hilarity will continue; somehow, I think it might.

Goodbye Ron Paul: He Has ‘Another Priority’ [AOL]
The Gold Rush Is On [CBS 3]

Hooray: Paul Supporters Now Being Fined

It isn’t just the Main Stream Media and selected blogs where Ron Paul supporters are treated as second-class citizens. No, it turns out local police departments are part of the government-backed cabal against America’s Favorite OB-GYN.

But for Cody Hauer, being a Ron Paul supporter may wind up costing more than $550 following four citations in one week from the Owatonna (Minn.) Police Department for having a $40 window decal on the rear window of his Buick Park Avenue. “I support Ron Paul, the city police department doesn’t,” he said. “They gave me a DWR - driving while Republican.”

I’d actually think it’s more of a simple DUI, with the illegal substance in this case being thoughts in favor of Dr. Ron Paul. Hauer plans to say that the ban on stickers in car windows violates something called the “First Amendment,” which I believe is one of the Ron Paul supporters’ made up terms like “gold standard.”

It is no surprise this article was reported in the Owatonna People’s Press, clearly an arm of the anti-Paul Socialist Party.

Obstructing the view [Owatonna People's Press]

Endorsement Dissent: Ron Paul For President

Today, PW endorses Barack Obama, a move so unsurprising the editorial has to mention it in the first sentence. Obama did coke and is kinda sorta for decriminalizing marijuana, he seems like a nice guy, I can relate to him, so he’s clearly a stellar candidate.

However, if you have learned one thing about me from reading this blog for God knows how long, it’s that I act selfishly. And what is more selfish than to vote based on merely who provides the most entertainment to me, annoying, lazy blogger? That’s right: I want you to vote for Ron Paul.

If it were up to me, I’d encourage you to vote for the gold-loving Ron Paul for king, but Ron Paul loves the constitution so much he wouldn’t accept the position of king. And the only candidate for actual change in the race — this is actually true, sadly — has a shot to get 10-20 percent in Alaska despite a near blackout by the Main Stream Media. And he loves gold! Who doesn’t love gold? No one I know, that’s for sure.

Ron Paul wants to get rid of social security and the IRS and the military and close off our borders and murder all the abortion doctors and let us do all the drugs we want (though, oddly, he never mentions this last one). He also is against the Civil War, which means the Union League cannot support him. Ron Paul for King President! What could possibly go wrong?

Wait, don’t answer that.

Ron Paul Races Into Final Lap

American hero, gynecologist and presidential candidate Ron Paul is gearing up for a huge weekend. He could win a primary! Okay, so it’s only in Maine, and he’s the only candidate who visited the state, but, still!

But, once again, it’s not all Ameros gold and rainbows for Ron Paul. Previously, Paul supporters had a blimp, which is now grounded. The blimp’s backers have an outstanding balance to the blimp company. Earlier this week a group of supporters wanted to sponsor a race car at the Daytona 500, but have now dropped out out of the, uh, race:

As you all can see the vicious lies and attacks on Ron Paul Racing are not stopping, the time and resources spent all week have been too much for our small organization to swat down. Every word in our prior statement is true and verifiable.

We tried to be as open and honest as possible while maintain our ability to discuses options for our car sponsorship with the top people in the industry. Nobody in their right mind will now. I can say we were close to three different deals that would have been mind blowing.

The way I see it, either (a) Wonkette killed Ron Paul Racing or (b) Ron Paul Racing imploded. When are Paul’s supporters going to take a cue from this ridiculous Hillary Clinton ad and start skydiving to support the good OB-GYN? (See, that would be good because some of their chutes wouldn’t open.)