Ron Paul Fan On Malls, Radiohead

There’s an op-ed in today’s Inquirer predicting the demise of the mall; the writer seems to be under the impression that Americans are now cutting back on spending and will no longer shop-’til-they-drop at giant monuments to suburban sprawl.

Anyway, it has one of the best comments I’ve ever read on a Philly.com article, and I’d like to share it with you now. This might be my favorite comment of all time, actually, especially if it’s real.

Ron Paul fans: Tough on malls, soft on Radiohead.

Also: Oxford Valley Mall isn’t so bad. Has this person ever been to Neshaminy? While it does have Café Riviera, I can assure you the Oxford Valley Mall is much, much nicer.

A grim future for the all-American mall [Inquirer]

Complain Here About How Much You Hate The CAPTCHA

I want to have something to print out when I go to my bosses with the suggestion, “Hey, how about we get rid of the CAPTCHA.” Right? Because the only good thing about it now is the audio version of the words is impossible to understand, therefore screwing over blind people. I’d like to see how the spam filter works without it, though I’m considering just having everyone register so I can harvest the information of Ron Paul’s supporters and sell it to the Illuminati.

So go ahead. Unless you like the CAPTCHA, in which case you can write that, too, but you really enjoy pain, don’t you?

The Revolution Will Be 1200 Pages Long

Since the last time I posted a photo of Ron Paul from the Reason blog things turned out well, why not do it again?

On Saturday, there was a “Revolution March” on Washington; Reason naturally covered it and took photos. Here’s the best one:

Atlas Shrugged, eh? I can only assume he reads Lifehacker.

Wonkette has more photos.

Ron Paul Clone To Run For N.J. Senate

Oh no. Some dude is running for Senate in New Jersey and… oh no, he’s a maverick! But, uh, not one like Walnuts McCain — who, uh, isn’t a maverick — one like… you know who.

Contending that Washington is “bankrupt” of both money and ideas, Dr. Murray Sabrin said the country is in a “perfect economic storm” that demands a return to free enterprise and confines the federal government to the role outlined in the U.S. Constitution.

“There’s nothing (in the Constitution) about agriculture, housing, education, or energy,” Sabrin, an economics professor at Ramapo College, said. He proposes that the federal departments bearing those names and functions be eliminated. Social Security would also be phased out under Sabrin’s plan, with new workers shifting their contributions to 401(k) plans.

Yes, that’s right, a libertarian doctor is running for Senate in New Jersey. We can shortly expect Dr. Sabrin to have a blimp, his own coinage and an army of angry online followers. And, look, thinks are going well for Maverick Murray so far!

Sabrin calls himself “Maverick Murray” and, lacking support from the party establishment, has striven for media attention in the primary in novel ways, such as inviting people to bet on his pick in the Kentucky Derby (Cowboy Cal) and contribute the winnings to his campaign.

Cowboy Cal finished sixth, out of the money.

Well, at least Cowboy Cal didn’t die, like Hillary Clinton’s horse.

Maverick label a fit for Sabrin [Camden Courier-Post]

Gold Prices Soar Because Of Ron Paul

Now that John “Walnuts” McCain has clinched the Republican nomination, it’s only fitting that everything seems to be going Ron Paul’s way — now that he has exactly zero shot of becoming president.

First, there’s the ongoing spike in gold prices and the popularity of gold parties, where everybody gets together and sells their gold to some dude who then sells it for higher on Jeweler’s Row. (I don’t know if they’re popular, but I heard it on the radio.) Ron Paul pays his bills in gold bars, so while he spends a lot of money on postage, he’s doing well in the pocket right now.

Then, there’s his 16 percent showing in Pennsylvania on Tuesday. Joe Murray in The Bulletin (your source for Republican primary news!) says the 27 percent Paul and Mike Huckabee received in the primary might mean people don’t like John McCain, then goes and quashes his own argument.

But, still, people still do love some Ron Paul, or at least love the things he loves (i.e., gold). This will surely culminate in his takeover of the White House via write-in vote this November, after which he will abolish the federal government, including the presidency.

Ron Paul Achieves Stunning 16 Percent

The real winner in Pennsylvania yesterday wasn’t Hillary Clinton or those of us who never have to see TV ads again. No, of course not: The real winner was none other than Ron Paul, who took 16 percent of the vote for second place in the Keystone State.

Sure, he didn’t beat John McCain — who clinched the nomination weeks ago — but, then again, only 73% of voting Republicans yesterday selected the GOP nominee. And Ron Paul beat Mike Huckabee (who took third) by around 35,000 votes! Meanwhile, in Bucks County the Ron Paul supporters were “few but proud,” says the Courier Times (which has already received a complain about it):

“Ron Paul speaks up and (appeals) to the college kids and the old-timers like myself,” said Joe Mallon, a 71-year-old Paul supporter from Upper Moreland. Mallon said he believes his party has been hijacked by a bunch of neo-conservatives. [...]

Some Republicans said a vote for Paul was a message vote — a way to tell their party they are not happy with its direction and presidential selection. Richard Dekalb, an 80-year-old Republican who lives in Ann’s Choice in Warminster, doesn’t like McCain and wanted to vote for “anything as far away (from him) as I could.”

Let’s all hear it for Ron Paul, the next president of the United States!

Ron Paul surges in Pa. [LA Times]
Ron Paul supporters in GOP were few but proud [Bucks County Courier Times]

Even Kids Don’t Vote For Ron Paul

On this election day, it’s important to remember the candidates who have since passed us by and gotten us to this point. On the Democratic side, there’s a bunch of well-meaning goobers who couldn’t possibly raise as much money or get as many votes as either Obama or Clinton; on the Republican side, there’s a ton of idiots who couldn’t even beat John McCain. Remember when Fred Thompson from the television was going to be president?

But a students at Robert K. Shafer Middle School in Bensalem were allowed to vote for some of those past candidates in a mock election; naturally, Obama won and Clinton took second. But let’s see how the also-rans did!

The seventh- and eighth-graders were asked to pick among Obama, Clinton, John McCain, Ron Paul or Mike Huckabee.

Obama captured about 60 percent of the 253 votes cast in the mock election to Clinton’s 30 percent, officials said. McCain received about 9 percent, Huckabee collected just under 1 percent of the vote and Paul received no votes in the mock election, officials said.

Have we extinguished the Ron Paul menace? Is the income tax just not an issue for seventh and eighth graders? All I know is there are some pretty smart seventh- and eighth-graders in Bensalem. No doubt they will soon all be harassed at their homes and places of business by angry Ron Paul fans wondering why they didn’t vote for him.

Kids back Obama in mock elections [Bucks County Courier Times]

Ron And Barney Go To White Castle

My Drug Roar column this week will be about Barney Frank’s marijuana decriminalization bill, introduced today.

But — oh yes! — did you know who is the lone co-sponsor of the bill?

Rep. Ron Paul (R-Texas) joined Frank as a co-sponsor of the bill.

Ohh, yeah! And you wondered why I endorsed Ron Paul on this website back in February? Uhh, right: Ron Paul may have some stupid ideas, and he may have the most annoying supporters in the world — but at least he doesn’t want to lock you up for smoking weed.

But mainly I’d like to thank Frank and Paul for giving me a nice easy column topic for next week. Hooray!

ABC LOVES RON PAUL

What’s really awesome about this debate so far is how ABC is only talking about things that are not important, yet coming in from the first commercial break the network showed dramatic readings of the Constitution as if ABC was dead serious.

Oh, I Almost Forgot

The horror, the horror.

A great new read for spring! [Wonkette]