End Of The Road To 10,000 Losses

Hey, we’re here! Last night, the Phils heroically lost their 10,000th game, 10-2, in front of the Philadelphia home crowd, but not before scoring two runs in the 9th to ruin all the 10,000-0 headlines already laid out on sports pages. (But, hey, Michael Bourn hit his first major league home run! Good for him.)

The last few Phillies game have been a pretty good microcosm of the Phillies season — and probably of the past few years, actually. After blowing leads to the Rockies twice to fall back below .500, the Phils had the great tarp incident where they helped the Colorado grounds crew cover the field. After the All-Star Break, the Phils routed the Cardinals on Friday and Saturday, scoring 23 runs. They were two games over .500, only four games out of the division. And poised for a chance at a sweep, the Phils don’t homer until it’s 10-0 and, viola, 10,000th loss.

It’s perfect, right? Just when a fan thinks the Phils are going to sputter into the All-Star Break, they have the coolest moment of the season. Then, with everyone waiting for the 10,000th loss, the Phils rout the reigning world champs. It happens every year: Just when you think you’re out, they pull you back in. The Phils led the Wild Card with a week to go last season. We were all excited. And then, a few losses to a bad Washington team and it’s over.

But, you know, whatever. No, the Phillies are not lovable losers, and that’s why they fit in Philadelphia perfectly. Plus, as Phillies PR man Larry Shenk defends on his MLBlog, “The lives of ill and crippled children are brightened by the games and the players.”

Yep. Those ill children can sit there and think: “Man. I’m almost good enough to play for the Phillies!”

St. Louis 10, Philadelphia 2 [AP/Yahoo!]
Milestone [Phillies Insider]

Phillies Fans Too Angry To Spellcheck Banners

A big 13-3 win last night kept the Phillies teetering at 9,999 losses, but that didn’t stop the fans from celebrating.

Fans draped a banner over the second deck that read “7 Stadiums, 52 managers, 2150 players, 10,000 loses.”

Hooray! The Mets lost, so the Phils are only four games back in the surprisingly kinda crappy NL East. I swear, the Phils are gonna be stuck on 9,999 losses for about two weeks, all because of the good karma from their tarp assistance before the break.

Phillies 13, Cardinals 3 [AP/Yahoo!]

The Phillies Lose In Every Conceivable Way

As the Phillies attempt to stave off lost number 10,000, The Morning Call in Allentown has a nice list of hilarious Phillies losses throughout the years, most of them due to forfeit. (Baseball games seem to have been forfeited a hell of a lot more 50-100 years ago.)

The whole list is pretty awesome, but I think my favorite is this:

AUG. 21, 1949 — New York at Philadelphia. A pop-bottle barrage with one out in the top of the ninth inning of the second game of a doubleheader resulted in a forfeit win for the visiting team. New York was ahead 3-2 when umpire George Barr ruled that Richie Ashburn had missed a diving catch of a ball off the bat of Joe Lafata, scoring Willard Marshall with the fourth run. The players objected, but when the call was not reversed the fans got involved. The barrage continued despite pleas over the loudspeaker system. Umpire Lee Ballanfant was grazed by a bottle and Al Barlick was struck by a tomato. After waiting more than 15 minutes, Barlick called the game for the Giants.

Even though brooms are banned from Citizens Bank Park — not that the Phillies sweep anyone, anyway — I don’t think tomatoes are. I’m totally bringing a whole bushel of ‘em next game.

A Sampler Of Bad Losses From The Early Years Of The Phillies [The Morning Call]

Phillies Help Grounds Crew, Defeat Lazy Jerks

Yesterday, the Phillies managed to avoid a sweep at the hands of the Rockies, avoid picking up loss #10,000 and finished out the first half of the season at 44-44. The Phillies are somehow only 4.5 games behind the Mets in the NL East. Considering most of the Phillies pitchers don’t even have any arms, all in all it’s not all that horrendous of a first half.

And perhaps something that happened yesterday will propel the Phils to some good second-half karma. Before the top of the seventh, a thunderstorm swept through Denver yesterday, leaving the grounds crew to cover the field. Here’s what happened.

Yes, pretty much the entire Phillies team (and the umpires, even) helped pull the tarp over the field due to the ridiculous weather conditions. (There’s more video here.) Not present helping out their home grounds crew? The Rockies, who only had one player (LaTroy Hawkins) trying to keep the tarp on the field.

Know what: It’s a good time to be a Phillies fan. Sure, they’re approaching 10,000 losses, but, hey, at least we’re not rooting for a bunch of pussies like the Colorado Rockies.

Phils top Rockies [Inquirer]
Phils assist Rockies’ grounds crew, get win after rain delay [AP/ESPN.com]
Yesterday: Washington Generals, Here We Come!

Washington Generals, Here We Come!

Only six more innings until 10,000. Unless the Phillies’ vaunted pitching staff shuts down the Rockies at homer-happy Coors Field. Uh, yeah, only six more innings until 10,000. With any luck, Jose Mesa will be the losing pitcher of record.

Update: Ahh, looks like I reversed jinxed ‘em. Phils win, 8-4, and help put the tarp back on. Ryan Madson gets the old timey three-inning save.

Rockies-Phillies boxscore [Yahoo! Sports]

Road To 10,000 Losses: Unlucky 13

Where to begin? The Phillies just wrapped up their 9,997th loss in franchise history, a 5-4, 13 inning loss to the Houston Astros, on a walkoff homer by rookie Hunter Pence on the first pitch Jose Mesa threw in relief.

The Phils might only have three losses to get to 10,000, but tonight’s loss was certainly the first one that went down like this: Phils up, 4-3, top of the ninth, bases loaded with one out. Antonio Alfonseca manages to a dead double play ball, Rollins-to-Utley-to-Howard, game over, Phils win, gain a game on the Mets, who were pounded in Colorado for the second straight night.

Only problem was, the first base umpire called Carlos Lee safe at first. He was out by about a half-step; it wasn’t even really that close. The game continued, Alfonseca got the final out, the game went to extra innings.

The blown call wasn’t the only misfortune the Phillies faced, uh, last night and into this morning. Ryan Howard hit a 430-foot blast into dead center that would have been out in Citizens Bank or any other ballpark in the majors; Minute Maid Park’s ridiculous dimensions allowed Pence to catch it next to that ridiculous pole in center field.

The Phillies also ran out of players; pitchers Cole Hamels and Jamie Moyer both pinch hit in extra innings. The Phils had first and third with no outs and the bases loaded with one out in the top of the 13th and didn’t score. The decision to go for a sacrifice bunt — which Rod Barajas blew anyway — in the seventh inning possibly cost the Phils a run or two.

But, eh, it was just kind of like the other 9,997 losses. The Phillies lost because they stink.

Road To 10,000 Losses: Larry Bowa, Working Hard To Contribute To All 10,000 Phillies Losses

So, yes, in the paper today I wrote about the 10,000 Losses thing, basically focusing on the historical awfulness of the Phillies. Lest you think I’ve possible exhausted all the bad stories about the Phillies on this blog, ha ha ha. There’s enough awfulness about the Phillies to fill three Wikipedias. My story begins with an 11-year-old boy the Phillies had arrested 80 years ago because he pocketed a foul ball hit into the stands. I’d like to say he’ll be sharing a room with the streaker from earlier this year in Phillies Heaven.

Anyway, we ran a sidebar of local bloggers who wrote their favorite “awful” Phillies stories, and some of them weren’t able to make it into the paper because of length or my Gmail account sucking. As such, here is the amazing account of A.J. Daulerio of Phillymag (and Deadspin) fame at a game following Sept. 11.

I believe it was September 17, 2001 and the Phillies, like the rest of Major League Baseball, had supposedly put together a tribute to recognizing every one lost after 9/11. Most other teams coming back after the week-long break had tasteful tributes with military personnel, flag waving, and heartfelt national anthems sung by either established stars or, at the very minimum, people who could actually sing. The Phillies organization decided to stick with the same entertainment that they had scheduled for that evening prior to the attacks: a middle-aged female barbershop quartet-like group, frumpily decked out in sweatshirts and turtlenecks. After the ladies’ wince-worthy renditions of God Bless America and the National Anthem — which they breezed through in, oh, maybe two minutes — most of the crowd expecting to be uplifted and inspired, appeared to have actually been made to feel worse. Best part? It was one of the first nationally televised games after the attacks. Goosebumps?

Wasn’t this the game where they showed Larry Bowa crying during the National Anthem? Maybe he was actually crying because it was so bad.

After the jump, another long story involving Larry Bowa and, of course, Minor Threat.

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Road To 10,000 Losses: 9991 Down, 9 To Go

Road to 10,000 Losses is a countdown to the Phillies’ 10,000th loss, coming sometime later this year. The Phillies stand at 9991 losses, only 9 away from 10,000.

A lot has happened since the last time I’ve written about the Phils. (More on this absence tomorrow.) Basically, although the Phillies have climbed over .500, the season’s pretty much over because the Phils are one injury away from re-signing Jim Bunning and having him start every other game the rest of the season. And if that doesn’t work, they’ll have to sign me, and although I have a wicked curve, my fastball tops out at around 82 and I don’t have the control of Jamie Moyer.

Phillies starters Jon Lieber and Freddy Garcia are both on the disabled list and are probably both out for the season. Tom Gordon and Brett Myers are supposed to be off the DL soon, but, ah, yeah, we’ll all believe that when we see it. This leaves the Phillies starting rotation with three players, one of whom (Adam Eaton) has an ERA over five. The bullpen has Jose Mesa, Clay Condrey, Lefty Grove, Grover Cleveland Alexander, Cy Young and Lil Stoner (the best baseball name ever). Unfortunately for the Phillies, only one of those pitchers (Condrey) is alive, although Grove did pick up a win last week.

The bullpen is a mess, and now the starting rotation has somehow become an even bigger mess. The problem is, the Phillies had a guy who might’ve helped in the rotation this season. His name is Justin Germano, and he is 5-1 with a 2.67 ERA. How recently did the Phillies have him? Oh, they fleeced the Reds last season, trading Rheal Cormier for him. But despite going 2-0 with a sub-three ERA in Scranton after the Phillies traded for him last year and a 4.50 ERA in spring training this season, the Phillies decided he wasn’t in their plans and placed him on waivers.

As for the bullpen, Justin Miller was with the Phillies’ AAA affiliate this season and is now in the Florida Marlins’ ‘pen with an ERA just over three. The Phillies released him from Ottawa so they could sign more of Pat Gillick’s friends.

Anyway, the Phils are only 3.5 games back of the first-place Mets, which is pretty amazing considering the Phillies were 28-29 and 8 games back on June 4. Unfortunately, that a team averaging 5.09 runs a game in the National League is only three games over .500 is pretty amazing, too.

Oh, and here’s who’s starting the first game of the doubleheader Friday:

The Phillies, Durbin’s fourth team, claimed Durbin from the Red Sox on April 13, after Boston designated him for assignment. He spent Spring Training with the Twins, but was claimed off waivers by the Diamondbacks on March 29. He appeared in one game for Arizona, and allowed seven earned runs in two-thirds of an inning, compiling a 94.50 ERA.

Update: Yeah, I miscounted when I put my original post up. Stupid evolution, not giving me enough fingers to properly do simple arithmetic.

Oh, let’s update again: Jason Weitzel on Durbin: “Last season, managers rated his curveball as the best breaking pitch in the International League. Baseball America had him as the Twins 10th best prospect this season, which would probably [definitely—dmac.] make him a top 5-10 player in the Phillies’ system.” He might be able to pitch a nice game Friday, especially since the Mets won’t know what to expect. Hey, optimism!

Archives: Road to 10,000 Losses

Road To 10,000 Losses: Joe Table Returns?

Here’s a joke for you: The Phillies bullpen is bad.

How bad is it?

The Phillies’ bullpen is so bad, they’re thinking of signing Jose Mesa.

That’s what actually might happen, as the recently released ex-Phillies closer might come back to shore up his support. Mesa, the Phillies’ all-time leader in saves — really — had 87 saves in 2001-02, but had an ERA north of 6 in his final year with the Phillies.

Still, that’s not the biggest story about Mesa. If you look at Mesa’s bio, you’ll find that he is 41, having been born in 1966. If you look further down the page to the biography, you’ll also see Jose’s daughter Yamely was born in January 1974, meaning Jose Mesa is either lying about his age, or was a father before the age of 8.

Oh yea, Mesa has a 12.34 ERA this season.

Phillies Notes | Mesa to be given look-see in bullpen [Inquirer]

Road To 10,000 Losses: Phils-Giants Liveblog

Road to 10,000 Losses is a countdown to the Phillies’ 10,000th loss, coming sometime later this year. The Phillies wrap up a homestand against the Giants today. They lost their first four, but won two straight, including a 9-8 walkoff win yesterday. They currently stand at 9983 losses, only 17 away from 10,000.

Hey, so the Phillies are 28-28, .500 once again. The Phillies came into this homestand two games over .500 after a sweep of the Braves, but then were swept to a hot Diamondbacks team and got pounded, 13-0, by the Giants on Friday night. Cole Hamels saved the Phils on Saturday, and Ryan Howard and Shane Victorino helped the Phillies rally for a 9-8 win.

Barry Bonds is in this weekend. He’s the alleged steroid abuser — and by that I mean, he’s never tested positive for ‘roids but it’s pretty clear he did them — and is also closing in on Hank Aaron’s all-time home run record. The home run record is probably the most famous in sports, so whenever someone approaches it everyone makes a big deal about it. Public sentiment is against Bonds, and it’s also somewhat broken up among racial lines — eep! — but a majority of people don’t like Bonds. He gets booed every time he comes to the plate or catches a ball. It should be fun.

Since I’m going to be watching it anyway, I’m going to make you suffer through my commentary, too. When the game starts, liveblogging after the jump.

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