Ride The Ducks To Expand, Blob-Like

Having made trillions in the tourism/plastic duck bill quacker industry, the people at Ride the Ducks are attempting to branch out, probably because when they say “I own Ride the Ducks” they get punched in the face. And, naturally, the next logical step after “duck boats” is “aquariums,” so the Ride th Ducks people are hoping to purchase the Adventure Aquarium.

The aquarium, former the Camden Aquarium or New Jersey State Aquarium or something, appeals to five-year-olds who like the word “adventure.” This makes it a logical purchase for RtD’s owners (Herschend Family Entertainment Group), because then they’ll own something in the area people actually don’t hate. (Tourists, as you may remember, love Ride the Ducks because it signed the Declaration of Independence.)

After purchasing the Camden Aquarium, the Ride the Ducks people will be able to send their passengers over to Camden, where the boats will hopefully break down and leave them stranded.

“Ride the Duck” Owners Interested in NJ Aquarium [KYW 1060]
Monday: Tourists Deserve Your Scorn As Much As You Thought

Tourists Deserve Your Scorn As Much As You Thought

The Convention & Visitors Bureau has set up a website for tourists to share their views of Philadelphia. Travelers to our fair city can send in stories, photos and video about their trip.

KYW 1060 asked tourists just what they love about Philadelphia, and their answers are predictably saddening:

[EVP Jack Ferguson, on comments:] “Some of the pictures of ‘Ride the Ducks’ are some of the best pictures you ever saw — because people are happy and they’re quacking away, and they want to tell people about it.”

Here are some of the comments already received — and people sure do love those ducks!

(Man:) “I’m really excited to be here, and I’m looking forward to riding the duck.”
(Woman:) “We loved it so much; we came back and took the duck tour.”

Yes, yes, a trip to Philadelphia is not complete unless you do the most historic tour of all, Ride the Ducks. Or, alternatively, the other one, the one Milton Street drives or whatever. Oh, and don’t forget that other one, the shark one, if that still exists. Frankly, I could find these things out, but any effort put into the duck boats is too much.

Your Philadelphia Comments and Photos Are Invited [KYW 1060]