Laughing Your Way To The Election

Dan Savage — the man who redefined “santorum” — weighs in on Rick Santorum’s defeat:

But there’s a smidgen of credit I will take: I did help to make Rick Santorum into a national laughing stock—an international laughing stock (the new definition of “santorum” is known overseas)—with an invaluable assist from Rick Santorum, of course.

There’s a reason why monarchs and despots used to lock up political cartoonists and satirists. Being made to look ridiculous, being turned into the butt of a joke—that’s politically disempowering fairy dust. It’s hard to rule when you’re not taken seriously, and it’s hard to be taken seriously once you’ve been reduced to a punch line. Indeed, the power of satire should never be underestimated.

Absolutely. One-hundred percent agreement. I read somewhere once that the real tragedy for an American is not to die, but to become a laughingstock. (Some of us, like me, have decided to buck the system and simply become jokes early in our lives.)

So what am I trying to say here? Basically, the next time you read a stupid headline joke, don’t get angry. I’m merely trying to take down Boss Tweed.

Rick Santorum [The Slog via Philly Future]

He Has One Thing: Rick Santorum’s Family Is Cute-Ish

No, I’m not going to make fun of the little girl crying, hold your angry emails. What I would like to point out is:

• Although Rick Santorum homeschools his kids, he still dresses them like they’re in Catholic school. Nice.
• Rick Santorum’s daughter dresses her doll in the same outfit as her. No word on whether her doll attends Catholic school or not.
• Santorum has also apparently adopted Baby Fat Elijah Wood, who is trying to stare away the election results.
• Rick and his wife make a cute couple.

Man, don’t you just want to sit behind Rick and his family at church? It’d be so aww-worthy. As a senator from Pennsylvania, not so much.

Rick Santorum’s Concession Speech

Ha ha ha, better stop your son from crying, you big tool! Erhm, I mean, oh, yeah, shouldn’t make fun of your kid. And to be honest, I’ll be sorry to see you go, Ricky. You were so entertaining.

By the way: Love the shoutout to Jesus. Loved the dude in the crowd seconding it even more.

Archives: Rick Santorum

Santorum Already Making Excuses For Impending Loss

Rick Santorum and the state’s GOP are already whining about how they lost. Rick hasn’t even officially lost yet!

The state GOP complaint alleges that lots of voters were not allowed to cast their ballots, and many people who voted Republican actually had their vote counted for a Democrat! Gasp!

Take this to heart if you want Casey to win: Rick Santorum’s team is already spinning.

Oh, and MSNBC just called the race for “Bobby Casey,” as noted loudmouth Chris Matthews just said. (Ooh! And he tossed it to Andrea Mitchell! It’s like KYW on MSNBC!)

PAGOP: VOTING MACHINES FAILING ACROSS THE STATE [PA GOP]
PA GOP ASKS STATE SECRETARY OF COMMONWEALTH TO LAUNCH IMMEDIATE INVESTIGATION INTO VOTING MACHINE PROBLEMS [PA GOP]

Early Numbers: Casey In A Rout

From the New York Observer:

Casey 61 - Santorum 38

And the horse race has turned into a rout.

Senate numbers [NY Observer]

Also Disenfranchised: Rick Santorum

NBC 10’s Kristen Welker reported just a little bit ago that Rick Santorum, so engrossed with his get-out-the-vote movement, has not yet voted himself.

He “plans” on voting later in the day, NBC 10 says, but let’s all spend the rest of the afternoon hoping that he gets stuck in traffic and somehow doesn’t even get to vote for himself.

And then loses, by 1 vote.

Election Blog Roundup: Split Decision

• Local 98 union reps are handing out literature encouraging voters to choose both Rendell and Santorum, exploding the heads of at least three members of Young Philly Politics. [YPP]

• Speaking of that crew, apparently the hot thing to do today is: Vote! Against Santorum! Yeeha! [Philebrity]

• The Inquirer reports on the big important project to take photos of your polling station that will end hunger, war and, most importantly — this is from the official website: “[become] a research tool on how voting happens in America and how it can be designed to be easier, less confusing and more enjoyable.” Hey, here’s an idea to make it more enjoyable: Better candidates. [Blinq]

• When you choose a bar this election day, don’t choose Lucy’s Hat Shop, apparently. I’m Nodding Head, and I approve this message. [Phillyville]

• Richard Cranium takes time out from finding missing minorities to report that he doesn’t think the Democratic gains will be as great as some hope. [All Spin Zone]

• Will Bunch votes, dammit. [Attytood]

Santorum Closer Than Once Thought?

Writing on National Review’s blog, Kathryn Jean-Lopez says our pal Ricky isn’t so far behind:

I’m told by a good, albeit Republican, source that Gov. Rendell’s latest internals have Santorum only 5 behind. I’m told he had Santorum at 9 on Friday and 17 three weeks ago. Contrary to conventional wisdom, this race is in play.

Take this with a grain of salt, etc., as this is sort of counter to every public poll and could just be a conservative trying to rally the base. On the other hand, if you’re planning on voting for Casey, you better get out there lest we have six more years of the unintentionally amusing senator.

Encouraging News [The Corner]

Fun With Funny Pictures

Santorum: We just finished up a debate and you haven’t said a word!

Casey: …
Santorum: Come on! You didn’t say anything! And you’re still beating me by double-digits in the polls!
Casey: …
Santorum: What, are you just waiting for me to say something stupid and then you’ll stand there with a stupid grin on your face! I even have better hair than you. Since when does the candidate with better hair lose?!
Casey: …
Santorum: Oh, by the way, I hate poor single mothers, gays and illegal immigrants. And I live in Virginia.
Casey grins.
Santorum: Dammit, I did it again!
Casey: You’re out, Rick.

Santorum Makes The Girls Flutter

Wall Street Journal columnist Peggy Noonan wants to have sex with Rick Santorum. She wants to have like 10,000 of his babies.

No, really. That’s the only conclusion I can come to from her mashnote to Pennsylvania’s junior senator today. Oh, you don’t believe me? Here are some choice lines:

• “The other day I called a former senator, a crusty old moderate Republican, and asked him if he liked Mr. Santorum. ‘No,’ he said, ‘I love him.’”
• “Most of his own impulses–protect the unprotected, help the helpless, respect the common man–have not been conservative in the way conservative is roughly understood, or portrayed, in the national imagination. ” (Editor’s Note: This is my favorite type of argument. “If you people were smarter you’d realize that Rick Santorum is awesome!”)
• “He told me something is happening. And I hope he’s right. Because the U.S. Senate is both an institution and a collection of human beings, and it needs his kind.”
• “Personally I’ll shed no tear for the careerists of either party who win or lose, nor for the BlackBerryed gargoyles in the second row of the SUV who tell them how to think and where to stand. That means this election night will be, for me, a dry-eyed affair. But if Rick Santorum goes down to the defeat all expect, I will feel it. Like the crusty old moderate Republican, I know a national loss when I see one.”

Aww. Isn’t that cute. Although if Santorum were to lose, I think before I shed a tear I’ll say, “Awesome! We’ll have a senator who lives in Pennsylvania now!”

We Need His Kind [WSJ]