RON PAUL RETURNS!

Oh, and you thought I had forgotten about Ron Paul! Puh-leeze. The greatest presidential candidate in American history has been a bit off the radar since dropping out of the race, but he nonetheless will make two appearances in Pennsylvania.

Unfortunately, Paul is staying away from the Philadelphia area, hoping to spread his message of legal prostitution and the gold standard to more rural Pennsylvania: Indiana, Pittsburgh, Gettysburg, Penn State.

But, yes, if you’re wondering, Ron Paul is back and is campaigning for a nomination John McCain has already clinched. Or maybe he’s just spreading the love all over the Keystone State. I want him to answer that 3 a.m. economic phone call!