Well, he’s better than Shaq at least

In case you didn’t know — if you were in a cave this weekend, were totally obsessed with basketball, or don’t care — Terrell Owens has ended up signing with the Dallas Cowboys, in a deal that could make him the richest wide receiver ever.

To me, this is great news. First off, how hilarious will the look on T.O.’s face be when he realizes that Drew Bledsoe is about 1/10th the quarterback Donovan McNabb is, even if we have to imagine his reaction? The media coverage of T.O.’s first trip back to Philly will be amazingly nauseating, giving me plenty to mock. And, well, if some scrub like Billy McMullen scores the winning touchdown in a game against the Cowboys and runs to the star at midfield and stomps on it, it will definitely be the greatest moment in football history.

There’s no doubt that Owens is a great wide receiver and the Eagles will miss him. But, you know, whatever, that’s all done now, and I think there’s just a great of a chance that he’ll make Bill Parcells’ head explode — actually, that’d be awesome, too — as he will to lead the Cowboys to the division title.

The Eagles didn’t really have a choice. They should have traded him before last season, but hindsight is 50/50, and nobody knew that the Eagles would self-destruct, McNabb would get hurt, T.O. would start thinking Michael Irvin is a smart football analyst and Andy Reid would decide he didn’t need Owens anymore with the team still in some lingering playoff contention. And, so, he went to their division rival. But, you know what, this is a good chance for Reid to show his stuff: Is he really that good of a coach? Can he devise a gameplan to stop Owens? Can he lead the team back to the playoffs, the Super Bowl? Or was this just a stupid move by an overrated coach that’s going to send the team back to the 3-13 depths of yesteryear?

Anyway, the best part about everything is that Owens now has a rap song about him joining the Cowboys on his official website. Just load up the website, and it plays. In addition to saying he was the main reason people came to games, plugging his sponsor Boost Mobile and generally sounding really angry, he also says this tremendous line:

Gonna set a few records, be back in the Pro Bowl,

One week after, winnin’ the Super Bowl!

Notice which accomplishment comes first. Yep, that’s T.O. A team player until the end. Seriously, there’s no way this can’t end in an hilarious way. Then again, Glenn Robinson did win a title with the Spurs last year…

TerrellOwens.com
Owens’ contract could net him record money [ESPN.com]