Puppy Morning: A farewell wag of the tail

• The other day, Bookslut posted about two things: The Onion AV Club’s list of nine classic tales of animal snuff for kids — Old Yeller was number two — and the response to all this horror, the Gordon Korman kids’ book No More Dead Dogs.

• A reader emailed me and directed me to Cares4Pets, affiliated with the Vet school at the University of Pennsylvania. They’re very helpful, and you can get a lot of great doggies from there.

• And, of course, if you want more cuteness, you can always check out the blog Cute Overload, although they’re a little too light on puppies for me. There’s also The Daily Puppy.

• And with that, I hope you enjoyed Puppy Morning. I don’t really know what it was or why I did it or how it turned out, but then again I never know. Sorry if I didn’t post a breed of dog you really wanted me to write about; if I do this again I will take requests beforehand. Okay. That’s it. No more puppy photos for a while. Okay. Maybe one more.

Aw.

First photo by jsmjr
Second photo by knieriem

Puppy Morning: Tibetan Terriers

Five Facts About Tibetan Terriers

• Despite its name, the Tibetan terrier is not part of the terrier group. The name was given to the dog by (who else) Europeans, as the dog reminded it of terriers back home.
• Tibetan terriers have a double coat, with a warm undercoat and a long overcoat with the texture of human hair. (The dog in the photo, Brady, has been clipped. There are photos of additional Tibetans here.)
• Tibetan terriers are among the most gentle, friendly dogs there are. They are usually reserved around strangers, but are an excellent family dog due to their reserved nature.
• Recent DNA analysis has shown Tibetan terriers to be among the oldest of dog breeds.
• Tibetan terriers are cute!

Tibetan Terrier [Wikipedia]
Tibetan Terrier [American Kennel Club]

Puppy Morning: A puppy’s book review of ‘A Million Little Pieces’

Book Review: A Million Little Pieces
By Brandy, age 1

Bark! Hi, my name is Brandy. I’m a doggy, a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. I like sticks and plastic bottles. I dislike people who don’t pet me and computer screen savers (especially the flying windows). I also like to read, as shown in this photo.

Sometime earlier this year, I read the James Frey memoir A Million Little Pieces. I thought it was well-written, but I was a little surprised by the big furor over it. Arf!

You see, the reason why I was surprised by the whole brouhaha is, well, how could someone be so stupid to actually believe the book was 100 percent true? Even though I’m a puppy, I knew after the first page that this book had lots of made up woof in it, the author’s insistence that he didn’t make anything up notwithstanding.

In the first paragraph, James Frey is sitting on an airplane with a hole in his cheek, a broken nose and eyes nearly swollen shut. He’s covered in spit, snot, peepee, vomit and blood. Ew! And although he writes that a doctor brought him on board, well, I didn’t buy it. It was a little too far-fetched for me. And I like to fetch.

Anyway, the book was a fun read, but I took it with a grain of puppy chow from the beginning. Now, it’s made up, and people are complaining endlessly and suing the publisher and Oprah went nuts on her show — after her original plan of being nice to James Frey got bad reviews, of course — and I sort of feel bad for the guy. But, still, there’s just one thing I want to do to Oprah and Frey and the people suing and all the people who accepted the book as 100 percent true: Grr.

A Million Little Pieces [Amazon]

Puppy Morning: Labrador Retrievers

Five Facts About Labrador Retrievers

• The official colors of labrador retrievers are black, yellow and chocolate.
• The labrador retriever is thought to have originated on the island of Newfoundland, a cross breed between the no-longer-in-existence St. John’s Water Dog and native water dogs.
• Bill Clinton’s pet labrador was named Buddy. It was a chocolate lab. He was killed by a car in 2002.
• The otter-like tail and webbed toes of the labrador make it an excellent swimmer.
• Labrador retrievers are cute!

Labrador Retriever [Wikipedia]
Labrador Retriever [American Kennel Club]
Photo by pokeie

Puppy Morning: Offensive Puppy Headlines

Puppy Trail of Tears? Yikes. Even I’m offended by that one, I think.

Editor’s Note: They appear to have changed the title on the page to “Puppy Heartbreak.”

NBC 6 Investigation: Puppy Heartbreak/Puppy Trail of Tears [NBC 6]

Puppy Morning: Otterhounds

Five Facts About Otterhounds

• Otterhounds are very rare. There are only about 1,000 otterhounds in the world. Some of this is due to the ban on otter hunting in England in 1978 and in Scotland two years later.
• The breed reached its current form sometime in the late 18th century, though there are references to “otter doggies” as early as the 1100s.
• Otterhounds are big, friendly dogs. However, due to their ultrasensitive nose, otterhounds tend to get into everything and require more supervision than other dogs.
• Otterhounds were brought to America in the early 20th century. A dog from veterinarian Hugh Mouat’s first litter became the breed’s first American Kennel Club champion in 1941.
• Otterhounds are cute!

Disclaimer: Some of this information is taken from Wikipedia, so don’t blame me if it says an otterhound was the first manager of the Philadelphia Phillies.

Otterhound [Wikipedia]
Otterhound [American Kennel Club]
Photo from the Otterhound Club of America

Puppy Morning: Humans love dogs, but not that way

Even though it’s “Puppy Morning,” some of the dog news still relates to our wonderful commonwealth. Monday, I wrote about the PIMP Act, which seeks to place a ban on same-sex marriages in Pennsylvania. The PIMP Act was defended by Chester County Rep. Arthur D. Hershey, who told the West Chester Daily Local News that “down the road, people will want to marry their dogs and horses to get benefits.”

At the time, I dismissed Hershey’s statement as mere code for “I hate gay people.” And I’m sure it still is. But, to be fair, perhaps Hershey has a point. Yesterday, I saw a story regarding possible dog-and-human relationships:

[Actress Natasha] Lyonne is facing a number of charges, including her alleged threat to sexually molest her former neighbor’s dog during a 2004 altercation. She is also charged with criminal mischief, harassment and trespassing.

To quote WWTDD, where I found this story, “you may remember [Lyonne] from ‘American Pie’ or ‘Blade 3′, but probably not.” Indeed. Anyway, due to her alleged dog-molesting ways, perhaps there is some truth to dog-and-human marriage in the state of Pennsylvania. But, really, I don’t see much of a threat besides one actress.

And, as such, I recommend to Rep. Hershey and his ilk that they change the PIMP Act to not define marriage between a man and a woman, but just that “Natasha Lyonne may not marry a dog in the commonwealth of Pennsylvania.” That should solve all our problems.

Another Warrant for Lyonne’s Arrest [E! Online via Yahoo! News]
Natasha Lyonne is in trouble [WWTDD]
Monday: But what about dog on dog marriage?
Photo by No Fixed Abode

Puppy Morning: The Puppy Bowl!

Ever since the Bud Bowl disappeared, we Americans have been waiting for some sort of Super Bowl-themed knockoff to captivate our attention.

Sure, in 2004 there was the Lingere Bowl, but that was on pay per view so nobody saw it. But last year, with little to no fanfare, a new tradition was launched that should be America’s newest pastime: The Puppy Bowl.

This year’s second Puppy Bowl has 12 competitors, all romping around for the opportunity to… well, something. There don’t seem to be any rules or way to win in Puppy Bowl II, but that doesn’t really matter: It’s a bunch of puppies! Romping around! There are some poodles that aren’t quite the cutest, but the beagle mixes, the English springer spaniels and the cuteness of everything else makes it all worth it.

There are preview videos online, including the puppies “practicing” for Puppy Bowl II (it looks suspiciously like the preview video of the game) and a preview of the all-kitten halftime show. An all-kitten halftime show makes about as much sense as, say, the Rolling Stones playing halftime of the real Super Bowl… er, oh, wait. Hmm.

The game even features a “bowl cam,” which sounds illegal, but is actually just a camera at the bottom of the puppies’ water dish.

The whole shindig is on Animal Planet at 3 p.m. on Sunday, so it won’t conflict with the Super Bowl.

Puppy Bowl II [Animal Planet]
Bud Bowl’s Greatest Moments [Shtick.org]

Puppy Morning: Cavalier King Charles Spaniels

Five Facts About Cavalier King Charles Spaniels

• There are four recognized colors of cavaliers: Blenheim (rich chestnut on pearly white background), tricolor (black and white with tan markings), black and tan (black with tan markings), and ruby (rich red all over).
• A breed similar to the cavalier was very popular in England during the reign of Charles I — it was the official house pet. Charles II decreed that no King Charles Spaniel could be refused entrance to a public building.
• Interbreeding with other breeds produced the shorter-snouted King Charles Spaniel. Roswell Eldrige, an American, started breeding longer-snouted King Charles Spaniels in the early 1900s, resulting in today’s current CKCS.
• President Ronald Reagan’s dog, Rex, was a cavalier.
• Cavaliers King Charles Spaniels are cute!

Disclaimer: Some of these facts are taken from Wikipedia, so take them with a grain of salt. I apologize if it says that the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel possibly shot JFK or something.

Cavalier King Charles Spaniel [Wikipedia]
Cavalier King Charles Spaniel [American Kennel Club]
Photo by DannoHung

Puppy Morning: Getting the sad one out of the way

Okay, you all probably know this story already, and about 15 of you sent it to me — I can’t imagine why — but it’s a puppy story and this is puppy morning, so let’s go: Indeed, the Drug Enforcement Agency yesterday announced they had arrested 22 Colombians for their part in a heroin smuggling scheme.

Um, okay, you’re saying. That’s nothing special. Their crime? (Uh, in addition to drug trafficking.) Some of the drugs smuggled into the United States were hidden in purebred puppies! Yes, I know: Very weird and sad — and, well, to be honest, clever — and all that stuff. DEA New York field chief John Gilbride sounded even more angry than people usually do at these press conferences: “The organization’s outrageous and heinous smuggling method of implanting heroin inside puppies is a true indication of the extent that drug dealers go to make their profit.”

Slight digression: Despite being a puppy lover, I’ve never quite understood why people take animal cruelty (mainly to doggies) more seriously than, uhm, human cruelty. A guy beats another guy to death, people are upset. A guy beats a dog to death, people go nuts. They’re ready for blood.

That being said, what the hell, drug smugglers? Is this your response to heroin being illegal? “Oh, we’ll just put it in cute little puppies, that’ll show them!” I mean, I guess a drug-sniffing dog wouldn’t notice the drugs inside a puppy, but it’s just cruel. Puppies are supposed to romp around and play and be cute, not smuggle drugs! Grrr…

The New York Daily News reports that DEA rescued 10 puppies from Colombia, but three died shortly after due to complications from the surgery. The surgeon is allegedly Andres Lopez Elorez, a fugitive in Spain, who may not have even had any formal veterinary training.

Anyway, this is all sad and weird and such. But let’s end on a happy note: The former puppies — they are all grown dogs now — are alive and well and happily living in Colombia. Yay!

22 accused in using puppies to smuggle drugs [MSNBC.com]
The littlest drug mules [NY Daily News]