Old Manayunk Residents Have Pissing Contest With Twentysomething Manayunk Residents

As we all know, the people who live in Manayunk are dudes you went to high school with who go to bars you would be excited about going to if you were still in high school. And, apparently, after they leave those bars, they all piss all over Manayunk. Actually, that sounds pretty good. I kind of like the kids who live in Manayunk a lot more now.

While they should not be prosecuting these brave souls who dare to show Manayunk how they feel about it — protests are clearly covered under one of those amendments to the Constitution, maybe the third or something — yesterday City Council heard testimony from old people who want kids to get off their lawn and stop pissing on it.

Disgraced baseball legend Pete Rose even testified, claiming to be a Manayunk resident, and also claiming he saw public sex: “This neighborhood is in serious jeopardy right now… I would go further and draw your attention to the witnessed fact that there is also public fornication going on in our front yards.” Fuckin’ A! A free show!

Anyway, City Council will probably up the penalty for public urination to $2,000 by 2009, even though the city only has one public toilet and it probably won’t stop anybody from pissing wherever the hell they want to. And if you disagree with my assessment, you can piss off.

Manayunk Revelry Prompts City Council Action [KYW 1060]
Manayunk to public urinators: “You kids clearly have a pot to piss in.” [Metropolis]

This Is Apparently How We Capture Drug Dealers Now

Earlier this year a Warminster patrolman came across a man urinating on a car. The man, who has not been identified, was on probation and didn’t want to go back to jail so he leaked an alleged dealer’s name.

There’s a ton more BS in the article, a lot of it from Bucks County DA Diane Gibbons, who you may remember from when she defamed an 11-year-old.

34 charged in 7-month drug probe [Bucks County Courier Times]
April 3: Bucks County DA Mad At 11-Year-Old For Stealing Her Lunch Money, Defames 11-Year-Old In Newspaper

Update: Allen Iverson in trashcan-pissing snafu

This headline: not a joke. I know, I know: I should’t have to say that. But I usually have some fun with the headlines on this site and I wanted to make sure you knew I wasn’t kidding.

While I was Google Newsing — this is an expression, shut up — for something else, I came across the Dan Gross report on Allen Iverson’s casino argument that ran in today’s Daily News. Only it wasn’t the report I noted earlier, it was a different version sent out over the Knight Ridder wire that is slightly different.

It seems like an earlier version, since Gross doesn’t talk to Iverson after the Sixers game, and simply gets a no comment from A.I.’s spokesman But it contains this paragraph that, curiously, the Daily News story omitted. I’m guessing the Daily News took out the paragraph for legal issues, but that didn’t stop the San Jose Mercury News from posting it on the website:

We reported in February 2004 that a pro-athlete who plays at the Wachovia Center had urinated in a trash can at Bally’s Park Place in full view of staff and patrons. The urinator, whom we didn’t name at the time, was Iverson, and he was told by the casino not to return.

That Allen Iverson, he’s a real whiz kid! (Rimshot.)

Report: Iverson, casino staff clash over over-payment [KRT via San Jose Mercury News]
Earlier today: Allen Iverson, nun in off-court brawl