Hunka Hunka Burning Chemo

Taking lunch to the Navy [Inquirer]

John Bolaris To Make Triumphant Return

Dan Gross reports some of the happiest, greatest news in the history of this city today, perhaps rivaling the independence of this nation itself: John Bolaris might be returning to Philadelphia.

Bolaris was last seen in the Philadelphia news when, in 2001, he famously predicted 70 inches of snow or something and we only got a half inch. (This is “Bolaris’ Last Stand.”) He then fled to New York because of 9/11 — I don’t know, either — and currently works at WCBS in the Big Apple, although he reportedly didn’t renew his contract after being shifted to the weekends. He reportedly wants to return to Philadelphia because there are actual celebrities in NYC, whereas in Philadelphia he can monopolize the gossip pages.

Gross reports there are casual, discreet talks going on with CBS 3, NBC 10 and Fox 29. (Oh no! Who will cast doubt on global warming if David Aldrich isn’t around?) Bolaris will make much, much more than you or I will ever make for reading the weather once he returns to Philly.

Dan Gross | Forecast calls for a chance of Bolaris blowing back into town [Daily News]

al-Zarqawi, Bill Henley Dine At Continental

A letter in today’s Daily News:

IF THE Public Eye in your paper can spot all those people dining, drinking, socializing and getting into trouble, why don’t you use those skills and go out and find Osama?

And all the recent coverage of Barbaro is making me sick.

You’d think, other than making money off him, he was a talking horse like Mr. Ed!

Laurence Barberra, Philadelphia

I can’t help but agree with the Barbaro comment, though I suspect Mr. Barberra is just upset his name is close to that damn horse’s (and also that he didn’t invent Huckleberry Hound). As for the other point he makes, I have to disagree on that one. I mean, didn’t he see Dan Gross’ latest column?

Letters | Eye on Osama [Daily News]

Breaking! Local Newscaster Kinda Looks Like Celebrity!

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner for the best gossip item ever in Philadelphia. It’s about a newscaster who kinda looks like Lindsay Lohan:

MAYBE IT’S the bright lights of Geno’s Steaks behind her but when we’ve seen Erin O’Hearn standing there reporting for 6ABC, we can’t help thinking she resembles Hollywood hellcat Lindsay Lohan.

O’Hearn started at Action News in January and formerly worked for MTV producing some of its “True Life” documentary shows. She was recently featured in FHM magazine’s online poll of sexiest newsladies as were CBS 3’s Alycia Lane and Fox 29’s Kerri-Lee Halkett.

And this is the lead item in Gross today. The fact that this could be the main item in a gossip column pretty much explains all you need to know about this city. I love this town.

Dan Gross | Our own Lohan lookalike? [Daily News]

On The Whole, Lil’ Kim Would Rather Not Be In Philadelphia

This is a day or two behind, but here’s the deal: According to the New York Daily News, Lil’ Kim may be leaving our fair city sooner than we thought.

Kim, who’s in the detention center at on Arch Street for perjury, entered prison on a year and a day last September. But she could be out as early as Juily 5, leaving Dan Gross with another free Daily News subscription to send to someone. No, it wasn’t Kim’s alleged mistreatment at the hands of Mayor Street that might get her out of her prison term early.

Turns out, she’s been a model prisoner during her time in prison — and good behavior is the traditional reward. Sez the NYDN: “[H]er attorneys hope she’ll be a free woman by July 5, if not before, and that they have been negotiating with corrections authorities, probation officers and others to see if they can spring this model prisoner early.”

So if anyone asks you anything about Lil’ Kim, say nice things. It could help her get back to important work, like trying to move some records so her album goes gold.

Trim for Lil’ Kim [New York Daily News via Spilled Inq]
Archives: Lil’ Kim

When Life Gives You A 366-Day Prison Term, Make Prison-ade!

Surely, you all know that Philadelphia is the land of the pseudo-celebrity, the famous-for-this-town, the Philebrity, if you will.

But right now, you may know, we have a real celebrity in our midsts, none other than hip hop star Lil’ Kim. (Er, shush. She’s bigger than Howard Eskin, right?) And although she may not be getting the best treatment in the federal pokey at 7th & Arch, she is in good spirits, according to XXL.

The hip hop mag scored an interview with Lil’ Kim for the April issue, and posted an excerpt of it online. And while the introduction to the interview makes things even worse for kim — “Naked Truth has yet to go gold. It’s sold a woeful 326,000 copies to date.” (Gasp!) — she said she’s holding up and the fellow prisoners are treating her well.

But, you know, it’s still effing prison, and so she needs things to keep her going. But there’s one little girl who’s been able to help her out. Says Kim:

My fan mail is what keeps me going. I got a letter from a 10-year-old girl, and she said, “Dear Lil’ Kim, I am so sad that you are in jail, and I pray for you every night. I started selling lemonade so that I can make money to bail you out of jail.” [Laughs] I tell you, I was in tears…. I will [remember] her for the rest of my life. And when I come out, I’m gon’ look for that little girl.

Wow. This is like the hip hop version of Alex’s Lemonade Stand.

Lil’ Kim: It Has Been Said [XXL via Spilled Inq]
Archives: Lil’ Kim

Philadelphia pseudo-celebrity at 10 o’clock!

Hey kids! You ever see My Date With Drew? No? Oh. Well, it was a movie made by a local guy — he was from Evesham, N.J., but now lives in L.A. — Brian Herzlinger, who won $1100 on a game show pilot and spent 30 days trying to get a date with Drew Barrymore.

He eventually gets a date and Drew is nice and blah blah blah. It’s not a good movie, but for $1100, it’s a fun story at least.

Anyway, another local guy — Brady Hicks — is spending 30 days trying to get an interview with Dorothy Krysiuk, morning traffic reporter for Fox 29.

Some of you might mock this. But, to me, this is the best example of the Philadelphia pseudo-celebrity I’ve ever seen. A guy in L.A. has 30 days and $1100 to meet Drew Barrymore, legit movie actress. A guy in Philly? Well, 30 days and the cost of his internet connection to meet Dorothy Krysiuk.

Does it get any more Philly than that?

January 2006 Celebrity Interview Notes [Metroblogging Philadelphia]
My Date With Drew [IMDB]